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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lost

7 replies

mummytotwoxo · 04/11/2023 10:49

Hello, I'm just here to rant really, I've both really got anyone in my real life i can open up to about this, I've been with my partner for 7 years we have 2 young children not married, for the past around 7/8 months I'm just not sure we get on anymore. I love the man but I don't think I'm in love over the past year he's pushed me away, I feel like I'm 24/7 walking on egg shells he's always on my case about something, or having ago that I've not done something right, and I get sad for a while and he totally love bombs for for a little while and does it all over again, he's not very helpful day to day, he sleeps in until noon and goes to sleep at 4am most nights, blames it on the baby keeping him awake but I just go along with it really but I know deep down she's actually an amazing sleeper wakes up once for a feed and straight back down, I spend all morning on my own and I'm in a good mood and he second he wakes he finds a way to ruin it, he's not mindful of me and my feelings but expects me to be there to comfort him when there's a problem and I always am there! He tells me all the time I'm being suspicious, goes though my phone now and again because of his own insecurities. If I pop out the the shop or take my son to nursery he's on my case telling me I'm being to long or I never want to spend time with him, but in reality I'm literally his last option, if he finds something better to do he will do it and leave me on my own. He would never let me go or leave me but at the same time the attitude and behaviour I received doesn't exactly scream I love you. I want to fix it, I don't want my whole family to break apart but I have no idea how, he's doesn't see any wrong in his actions and is not willing to change.

OP posts:
BananaHamster · 04/11/2023 11:00

In my experience if they are accusing you of being unfaithful it's because they've done it.

DustyLee123 · 04/11/2023 11:04

He’s abusive, look at ending it.

mummytotwoxo · 04/11/2023 11:16

BananaHamster · 04/11/2023 11:00

In my experience if they are accusing you of being unfaithful it's because they've done it.

Yes around 3 years ago he was taking to other women online, it nothing I know about since

OP posts:
AmiablePedant · 04/11/2023 12:00

Gets up at noon . . .does he not work? Is he not financially supporting his family in any way? Are you supporting him financially (this might explain why he's trying to have his cake and eat it)?

mummytotwoxo · 04/11/2023 12:24

AmiablePedant · 04/11/2023 12:00

Gets up at noon . . .does he not work? Is he not financially supporting his family in any way? Are you supporting him financially (this might explain why he's trying to have his cake and eat it)?

No he does not, all the jobs he's has ended very quickly in spiralling depression. It's more than I can handle so I don't nag anymore about it, yes I work from home

OP posts:
AmiablePedant · 04/11/2023 13:23

So he offers no financial support, makes you intermittently really miserable, appears to play no active role in domestic routines or child-rearing, invades your privacy, attempts to control your movements, has a history of at least quasi-infidelity, veers between being emotionally distant and "lovebombing"--and you feel at your happiest when he's asleep in the mornings and you can be peaceful on your own.
Is there any way, really, your life would not be better without this man in it?

RandomButtons · 04/11/2023 13:50

I’m not surprised you feel lost, he is being a loser. He’s not pulling his weight on anything and is dossing and treating you like his mother.

Eitger he pulls his finger out, gets a job - any job- or it’s time for him to hit the road.

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