Is this worry normal or a product of my childhood?

[Hlsz]

I have a one year old who has just started nursery. The other day I arrived and he was in a cot crying with a staff member giving him a teddy (the one he has at home) and touching his head. My immediate thought was that they were getting angry with him for crying and probably hurting his head to get him to stop. Obviously when I got home I checked him over and he was ok.

Ive been told he struggles when having a happy put on and this has terrified me that a staff member will lose patience and be rough with him.

Growing up I experienced being physically hit with any sign of frustration from my parents. Is this why I am so worried, or does everyone worry or is this an instinct the nursery is bad? I feel so confused.

Get some therapy and talk about it there. You’ll be able to open up in a safer space than to strangers online. Even if 1000 people say the nursery is fine there will still be something next to make you feel anxious until you deal with the root cause.

I'm so sorry for what you went through as a child. Yes I think from what you have said it is quite plausible that your experiences are clouding your thoughts here, if you have seen no signs of them losing patience. Nursery workers will be very used to crying children - comes with the territory! Giving a teddy and touching your DS's head in a (presumably?) comforting way sounds like a normal attempt to soothe him.

If you haven't already I would consider talking to a professional about your experiences. Mental health waiting lists were always pretty long on the NHS but some trusts have introduced new schemes, e.g. online CBT support, that you can access very quickly. Wishing you all the best.

Seems a bit far fetched. He's probably alright, but I would move your baby if you think something isn't right. Only you are there and know what you saw.

If you are that concerned find a nursery with cameras you can watch from home/ work. Some nurseries have this. Alternatively keep the child at home until they can speak.

Your childhood experiences sound very upsetting. It can be hard to separate current issues from historic feelings. If you were physically abused regularly it affects you.

I think talking to a counsellor would be good.

If you analyse what you wrote, there is no description in your post of the nursery carers being unkind. Maybe keep a diary of good and bad things you see/feel for a couple of weeks. It is harder to notice good things, humans are wired to notice danger.

The biggest piece of evidence is your child - is he ok in himself.