Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No clubs/classes at 5

59 replies

Searchingforaname · 03/11/2023 21:09

What age did your dc start extra clubs (if they did/do?) My Dd used to do gymnastics when little, which was fun, but now she’s at school, we come home, decompress, take the dog in the forest and she plays etc. Her neighbour pal who is one year older has clubs almost every night-swimming, running etc etc. He gets home after, has dinner, then bed.
Should I be actively putting Dd in more clubs at this age?

OP posts:
Dogdaywoes · 03/11/2023 22:03

Mine do swimming one evening, gymnastics and martial arts another and then Sunday morning is ballet and martial arts.

Of the 3 school nights they don't do anything they go to after-school club for 2 of them, so I don't see how that is better than an activity.

They both do musical instruments as well, but that's during school hours.

WillowCraft · 03/11/2023 22:09

I would like mine to do either dance or a sport, currently just does swimming. But it's tricky managing with younger siblings too as it ends up late and I don't want to pay for something that we can't get to regularly. Or commit to getting out of the house first thing at the weekend.

Will probably start something else once he's in year 1

7Worfs · 03/11/2023 22:13

My 4yo just started Reception. He’s got swimming and football on Saturdays and rugby on Sundays. After school wouldn’t work for us at the moment.
Maybe look at weekend activities?

Newusernameforthiss · 03/11/2023 22:17

5yo twins, just started reception. They don't do any clubs. I'll take them to activities like tiny gym, circus skills, swimming, etc but as and when. They have got their whole lives to be busy, they are just getting used to school, why exhaust them?

If you put your kids in they'll probably do them, but that's just because children will make the effort for you. They did do dance towards the end of nursery and loved it, and I'll put them into stuff again next year, but for now? Let them come home and unwind at the end of the day.

FWIW my parents were like this with me at primary and in secondary I was an extracurricular MACHINE

WYorkshireRose · 03/11/2023 22:17

DS is in Reception (independent school) and there's a rule around joining a minimum of two clubs. He does one (non-sports) club on a lunchtime and a sports-based club one evening after school. Personally, I think that's more than enough. Would probably do extra swimming, but they already swim twice a week in school so don't see the need.

PeloMom · 03/11/2023 22:17

We do ours on the weekend (4 yr old). Doesn’t have to after school

10HailMarys · 03/11/2023 22:21

Searchingforaname · 03/11/2023 21:24

We can afford them, I just wasn’t sure if it was necessary/overloaded them at this age? Shouldn’t they relax a bit after school, she plays with neighbour friends, goes on her bike, in the woods, in the garden etc

This sounds lovely to me. Certainly nicer than having every evening devoted to enforced timetabled activities.

Nicesalad · 03/11/2023 22:23

It 's really not necessary. And it sounds like she's getting plenty of excercise walking the dog.

Off topic, but why are after school activities and lessons suddenly called clubs and classes?

kezzykicks · 03/11/2023 22:32

Honestly it sounds fine. My daughter stopped all clubs after the first term of school because she was so tired, i prioritised school and just relaxed afterwards. She now does football and ballet in year 1 as she has a bit more stamina but would probably prefer just being at home and doing things with me, all children are different.

coxesorangepippin · 03/11/2023 22:33

I cannot understand this perspective at all

Your child is 5

They will be absolutely exhausted from school

So don't do any activity during the week

Maybe swim lessons at the weekend

SparkyBlue · 03/11/2023 22:33

OP what you currently do sounds lovely and it works for you. Everyone is different and a lot depends on what time you finish school and where you live etc. My four and a half year old does a lot in my opinion but she is hyper and finishes pre school at midday so she does gymnastics and dancing during the midweek and ballet and music at weekends. She craves company so loves her classes obviously if she didn't enjoy them I wouldn't send her.

coxesorangepippin · 03/11/2023 22:34

Some of the kids mentioned on this thread must be completely over wrought

SquigglePigs · 03/11/2023 22:42

DD will be 5 shortly and doesn't do any at the moment. Our school actively discourage after school stuff for reception for the first term as they get so tired. Obviously some people still do them but I'm glad we took their advice for DD.

I'm looking at maybe getting one or two in the calendar from January. Some combination of swimming/ gymnastics/dance/drama but that's mostly because she's asked.

Your after school hours sound lovely though so I wouldn't worry about it unless there's something your DD is desperate to do.

I think over scheduling children is a bit of a modern risk and they do need downtime.

mollyfolk · 03/11/2023 22:43

I personally think school is enough at that age. As long as they are active and getting a chance to play then that exactly what they need to thrive. The only exception for me was swimming. I had mine in swimming lessons only at that age - it’s a good age to start, kids who start older seem to get nervous.

HairyMcHairyFace · 03/11/2023 22:58

I think you can be led by your child. My eldest has ASD and does no clubs, lessons or groups. Forcing them to socialise and be in the sort of environments that cause sensory overload after a full day at school seemed like the route to meltdowns from everybody. They are much happier coming home, recovering from the day and spending time on their special interests.
My second is very active and competes in her sport plus has other sports she dabbles in for fun. She needs down time as well but I think she'd go a bit loopy if she spent every evening at home.
I think you can ask your daughter and maybe try a couple of things but it sounds like you have a lovely routine and get plenty of exercise and fresh air so I wouldn't place too much importance on what a bunch of strangers say.

CeibaTree · 03/11/2023 23:15

Our 5 year old does swimming (30mins), karate (1 hour), tennis (1 hour) and art club (1.5 hours) on various day after school during the week and rugby on sundays. We asked him if he wanted to drop any, but he seems happy and has the energy for all of them.

cadburyegg · 03/11/2023 23:19

DS1 age 8 just does swimming now. He finished beavers and didn't want to move up to cubs. I ask him every time I see clubs advertised but he never wants to do anything else. He values his time at home which is fair enough considering we are pretty busy anyway and they go to my mum's 2 days, and ASC after school 2 days.

DS2 age 5 does swimming and squirrels. It's definitely enough for him, he gets tired out quickly.

I'd be happy to enrol them in more but they don't seem bothered. I never know if I should encourage them more.

Schlurp · 03/11/2023 23:26

Mine started school doing swimming and football, and we sacked them both off by Christmas. It was too much for him on top of school. Started up again a year or so later.

Kats43 · 03/11/2023 23:34

school is more than enough for our 4 year old so just swimming at the weekend and parks etc. Our 8 year old however does quite a range of clubs which she really enjoys and benefits from. I’d say about 6/7 ideal age to start

sunflowerdaisyrose · 04/11/2023 00:00

In reception mine did a theatre group and swimming. Plus junior parkrun when they felt like going.

They are older primary age now and do something most days (I'm always taking or collecting on if them from somewhere) and they love being busy but know it wouldn't work for everyone.

Malarandras · 04/11/2023 00:02

I tried my son with quite a few but he never wanted to stick with anything until last year when he took up tennis. He absolutely loves that now but it didn’t happen until he was 10, he is a very happy and healthy 11 year old. So no, you don’t need to worry if by age 5 your child hasn’t found their thing yet. They will eventually.

Fionaville · 04/11/2023 01:35

At 5, my DD was doing swimming, Rainbows and karate after school. Classes are usually earlier for little ones, so usually home for 5.30.
My kids still do lots of extra curricular stuff now. It's good for them and definitely builds confidence. I'd pick at least one activity at 5.

LambMomo · 04/11/2023 02:25

Mine started martial arts at that age and are still doing it now aged 11, it’s been fantastic.

Swimming and beavers.

Tohaveandtohold · 04/11/2023 02:52

At 5 , dd1 was doing swimming and gymnastics. By the time she was 7, gymnastics got out of hands as it became 3 days a week with competition on some weekends and she was refusing to cancel any day because she wants to progress with her friends. We had to put our foot down in the end and cancelled the whole thing.
Now at 10 she does 1 swimming & netball in the week and violin/musical theatre on Saturday and she loves everything.

DD2 is 5 and only does swimming, we are not making the mistake of putting her in too many clubs. Playing, walking the dog, going to the park, relaxing and doing homework, etc are all fine at that age.

TheGoogleMum · 04/11/2023 03:31

My reception aged DD only does swimming at the weekend. I might add an after school class eventually but not one every day and not in any rush to start as she's still getting used to school really