Shocking impact of noisy neighbours *Content warning: mentions suicide*

[Eastie77Returns]

I’ve been reading the awful news about the poor HA tenant who took his own life after being subjected to noisy neighbours (family living above him).

I know it sounds extreme but AIBU for thinking there should be minimum term prison sentences for people who purposely cause this kind of distress? I know it’s not always intentional but when it is I feel that people who do this deserve to be punished.

I lived in a flat above a man who insisted on keeping his TV on at an extremely high volume until 3/4am, regularly played an electric guitar and sang (badly) until the early hours as well as blasting music. I will never forget the stress and misery he caused, it truly impacted my mental health. I now live on a lovely quiet street in a semi detached house but I still get pangs of anxiety if I hear ‘noise’ late at night from any neighbours (very rarely happens).

Oh that’s so awful, I hadn’t heard about that.
Noisy neighbours made my life hell. I was under psychiatric care, on tranquillisers and suicidal. Even now, several years after moving to a detached house, I still brace myself for noise to start up the other side of the wall sometimes. My MH is still awful and my anxiety is horrendous. I don’t think it will ever leave me. I’m sorry you’ve also suffered from noisy neighbours, it really is hell.

It may not have been deliberate on the neighbours part though.

The report I read stated clearly that the issue was the total lack of soundproofing between flats.

Perhaps the neighbours were just, you know, living a life with children. Maybe on the noisy side but nothing actually unreasonable, in a properly built property.

IMO the housing association bears the ultimate responsibility, for their shoddy build quality and refusal to deal with the issue.

Have you got a link to news article?

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/nov/03/family-of-tenant-who-killed-himself-housing-firm-clarion

It's really sad and the HA have failed on several counts. But I'm not sure the neighbours were really to blame, being housed in an non-sound-insulated un-carpeted upstairs flat with children. It shouldn't have happened.

I used to live in a flat which had zero soundproofing. It was just a big house that had been split up. My downstairs neighbour could hear every tiny movement we made and spent their time banging on the ceiling and screaming at us. It got to the point where I was so severely anxious that we had to leave the city we lived in because I was so scared of living in a flat again. We tried everything to silence the noise down to living with duvets all over the floor, never having anyone round, going to bed early and trying not to get up too early and being too nervous to use the toilet during the night. I can really see how something like this affects both parties and not having the option to leave must have been awful.
A few years later I know live in a detached house but still panic when I hear a bang or someone speaking loudly.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/nov/03/family-of-tenant-who-killed-himself-housing-firm-clarion

It says that music was being played at all hours and light fittings were shaking.

Neighbour noise made me suicidal, I have posted on here before about my vile neighbours who made my life hell, including the time they played wall shakingly loud music on xmas day during covid lockdown, I could no go anywhere, I was trapped. I wanted to end it all. I believe I now have some form of PTSD from them.

This story is so, so sad. Landlords need to step up but more importantly there needs to 100% be harsher punishments for noisy neighbours AND easier ways for them to be prosecuted. They are untouchable and they know they can get away with it.

I think the blame lies squarely on the HA. There needs to be better regulations in place. While the government are pushing greener homes (which I do agree with) they also need to look at the countries housing stock and put in some regulations that all homes need better sound proofing. The majority of homes in this country are attached and small. We are only going to get more crowded. It needs sorting.
We have a detached house. Our son is autistic and loud, very loud sometimes. No way could we inflict our families noise on other people. But we are fortunate to be able to afford it. What if we couldn't? It doesn't bare thinking about!

That poor man. Some people are vile and have zero consideration for others. Neighbours noise does contribute to your mental health, no question. I will never live in a flat or terraced house again.

Suffered to an extent myself. Had a horrible family living above, the "mother" and her partner would drink all Friday and/or Saturday night which 90% of the time resulted in physical fights at 1am. Every morning she screamed at her child to get up for school and all evening when they got home. Complained a lot to the HA which did nothing but enrage her. Resulted in her (and her 14 year old) assaulting me and breaking several bones! HA did nothing as they couldn't til it went to court. Was a year and a half ago, still waiting on that court date. Won't ever live in social housing ever again.

Noisy neighbours have such a massive impact on mental health. The only effective solution remains to move ASAP.
Reporting people often gets you nowhere, except reprisals. I genuinely feel sorry for those who have no option to move.
Soundproofing/building standards should have been altered to ensure homes are well built. Yet another policy successive governments have failed to implement properly, which causes the most vulnerable the greatest impact.

No But british housing stock needs sorting out- prerraced and semi detached houses need to disappear.

where i come from in mainland europe every house is detached with garden all around the house, wth were britis lh thinking building terraced and halving houses,like wth?

Soundproofing in so many homes is shockingly bad.

One of my friends lives in a HA place and the soundproofing is so bad that you can hear the “hi this is X, leave a message” from her neighbour’s answering machine. There are four of them in the building and they all joke that the basically live together as they have zero privacy from each other.

I lived beside an illegal airbnb, that was just constant hens and stags all summer and random other groups the rest of the year, some perfectly quiet but not knowing if they would be a good group or a bad group and if I would sleep that night caused me so much stress. They advertised 18 people to stay in a 4 bedroom.

It was so stressful I started getting migraines. The council were aware but the owner said her tenant was only airbnbing on occassion and since she replied through a solicitor the council were cowards and backed off even though they could see it was advertised as full time online. It only stopped when a group set off fireworks and almost lit another neighbours shed on fire.

I was genuinely suicidal at points, it went on for almost a year

I have worked in housing for 30 years and my literal job s partly sorting out this shit.

In every noise compliant there are three factors: the home, the noise producer, the noise sufferer. One, two to three can be unreasonable.

I've seen homes with no soundproofing, fucking awful. I've met people who produce so much noise, banging all the time and all hours. But also people whose expectations are unbelievable. I've been sent recordings of someone talking quietly at 5pm as 'noise issues'.

In any noise situation, everything and everyone can be unreasonable. Never assume anyone is in the right.

@Eastie77Returns having lived below very noisy neighbours (playing decks at full volume from 2 or 3am to 6 or 7am most weekends or any time their favourite football team played, and inviting all their friends back to join in) I'm now hypersensitive to potential night disturbances much more than I ever was before. I don't think anyone realises how stressful nuisance noise really is for those living with it, or at least the threat of it, daily.

We’ve been unfortunate enough to experience noisy (and antisocial) neighbours in two properties now.

We had drug dealers next door in one of the houses - loud people coming and going at all hours, full volume music all night, aggressive whenever we tried to speak to them.

We live in a detached house now after years of saving to be able to afford one. I still get nervous whenever I hear a car drive past playing loud music. I still have flashbacks of the sleepless nights and the constant anxiety of returning home.

Home should be a safe space, and when you have awful neighbours (and/or terrible soundproofing) it’s difficult to feel safe and settled.

The article suggests it was the lack of soundproofing rather than the upstairs neighbours being excessively noisy that made this poor man's life intolerable.

That must be very nice but we really don't have space for that here, unless we want no countryside at all.

i lived with noisy neighbours on either side of me. One who was fond of slamming doors and jumping down the stairs and another who sat in her hot tub screaming. Awful people, if I hadn’t moved I’ve no doubt I’d be dead. Condolences to this man’s family.

It can also work the other way.

I bought a solidly built rural Victorian semi. The only noise I ever heard from next door was if they plugged something into a socket in the party wall. No problem.

However the man next door raged that he could hear my (very ordinary) digital alarm clock at 7am. I moved it away from the shared wall, I changed the ring tone, it only ever rang for 3 seconds anyway. He got so aggressive about it I had to call the police.

He insisted I was 'doing it on purpose', that I was harassing him, when I was just getting up and going to work like anyone else. Some sounds are just normal life, and not unreasonable at all.

I read this story too. That poor poor man. I am also a victim of noisy neighbours. Although I eventually moved, I still hate them to their bones for what they put me through.

Don’t you have any apartment buildings in your country? I’m just wondering which country it is where everyone lives in a detached house.
Were I lived in Europe most people were living in flats. Now in the UK we have a terraced house and the sound isolation between us and our neighbours is definitely better than in some of the flats I’ve lived/ been to in Europe.

I can’t quite imagine any country having the space for that, i.e. for everyone living in a detached house - unless I misunderstood PP?
I always thought UK’s housing stock was already quite spread out and taking up more space compared to countries where the majority of people live in apartment buildings.

When you buy or rent, you should get a 'soundproof rating' on your property just like you get an energy rating. It is not hard to put in proper soundproofing but it can be expensive and many house builders don't do it properly.

It is quite possible to live well in apartments if there is good soundproofing

I lived between 2 sets of noisy neighbours and I was made so very sick by it all. I would cry at the grocery store at the thought of going home. I was sleeping maybe 3 or 4 hours a night whilst working through lockdown because one side would play very loud music in their hot tub from 2pm until midnight and then the other side would start screeching and screaming from 2 or 3am all morning.

Nothing I or anyone said or did made a difference. Our city is weak. They didn't care although both hated others making any sort of reasonable noise (like mowing). Like others have said there was no consequence for them.

I moved and it took me years to begin to recover. I'm still anxious even thinking about it.

The housing association had a duty of care towards this man. But probably just like everyone else if you don't experience it you don't get it or you don't care.

People who knew and even heard the noise minimised how I felt whilst they raced back to their nice quiet homes.