New friends keep slagging each other off- red flag?

[LilyAB]

I have recently made 3 new friends at the gym and they’re all lovely when we’re together but I can’t help feeling like there’s a red flag. When Friends A and B are together they’re mocking/slagging off C, when it’s A and C they’re doing the same to B, and the same when it’s B and C to A. They’ve known each other for years apparently but they say some mean things about each other. I’m not very good at making friends and don’t have many so I don’t have much experience but my gut is telling me they’re not good friends. Is this common?

It seems logical that they will talk about you in the same way when you aren’t there. I couldn’t be bothered with this nonsense.

Seems like the classic frenemy situation. YANBU, maybe slightly BU for still hanging out with them.

They are probably doing it about you as well

I wouldn’t want to be friends with them; who is going to be the topic of conversation when the three of them are together?

@CaramelShortcakes Thats why I’m viewing it as a red flag. Having said that, they don’t know me as well as they know each other.

this doesn’t sound great. Their way of building relationships is to exclude and gossip about someone else who is part of the group isn’t there. Can I ask roughly how old you are? Most people grow out of this kind of behaviour after school.

@OneAtATime I’m 30.

That makes it even worse. They’re being awful about each other in front of someone they barely know.

I agree It's complete nonsense. I couldn't be bothered. I stay clear of these kinds of people. My boyfriend's group of friends (in their 30s) are like this. They have a few different WhatsApp groups that exclude various people (different people on each one) so they can use that chat to be nasty about the excluded person. I know they gossip about me too, because why wouldn't they? They do it to everyone! They also use their chats to make fun of other friends from their wider circle. They were particularly nasty about one old school friend who'd posted pics on Facebook with his girlfriend. They shared the pictures and took the piss out of this poor woman.

Sorry I went off track there; I think I needed to get that out of my system 😂

AVOID AVOID AVOID!!!

Definitely.

In these situations I've tried to say things like, "Ah, I really like A actually, I think its incredible she's done x."

If they then drop you or change their ways you've won. If they don't, you've won.

Red flag. I’d start distancing myself.

Its just nasty, toxic behaviour, do you really need it in your life?

Eek no they sound horrible.