To ask what you'd do with this online dating situation

[crochetmonkey74]

I live in a villagey very small town.
I'm active on dating apps as are a few friends. A guy I'm lining up a date with is recognised by a friend as someone she was chatting to whilst he was dating a mutual acquaintance of us both. The acquaintance and him had been on one date, and he was keen for a second but also lining up other options with my friend .Friend and acquaintance say he also gave conflicting information and personal details . Nothing major like family details, more things like he told one he was a vegetarian and the other that he wasn't. That sort of level of discrepancy. We have chatted and got on really well so far but now I feel like I have been warned about a red flag so shouldn't ignore it . What would you do?

As you say - don't ignore the red flag. He sounds untrustworthy.

Maybe he was trying to be a vegetarian but fell off the wagon sometimes?

I guess my thoughts are that on online dating you kind of have to have several irons in the fire at once and I have done the same. Not sure I have given differing stories about my life though. To be honest, I'm right on the edge of just coming off the apps and leaving it to fate that I'll meet someone in real life .

This is not the exact scenario, just a ballpark example that is not outing

Go on the date! If you don’t give him a chance then you’ll never know. The vegetarian thing could just be he was nervous and wanted to impress one of them, or one of them misheard, or he was trying it for a while. Go on the date and enjoy it, if nothing else you’ll get something to chat about with your friend, best case scenario you’ve found the love of your life :)

I'm not sure if I'm being too over cautious or too over blind to clear red flags
I'm struggling to trust my judgement so I'd like your opinions

If it's a small place it stands to reason you will date the same people as your friends. Used to happen all the time when I lived in Grimsby, never happened in Birmingham. Do you not tell stories on dates? All part of the fun, I'm a nurse, I'm an air STEWARDESS, I'm a waitress, I train horses. Policewoman is always a good one.

I don’t think he’s done anything wrong on going on dates with different people, that’s what you do with dating isn’t it?

I’d be tempted to go on the date and bring up the topic of being vegetarian (or whatever the real thing was) and see what he says 😊

I don't mind dating people that have dated friends . It's more should I heed her warning..
I don't tell stories on dates , I wouldn't be able to keep it straight, also, what if you really liked them ? That would look weird if you had to say you'd made it all up on date 1

Friend and acquaintance say he also gave conflicting information and personal details . Nothing major like family details, more things like he told one he was a vegetarian and the other that he wasn't

That is actually a huge red flag for me. There's just no need to lie about things like that and it's weird that he wanted to. If you can't even trust him to tell you the truth about being bloody vegetarian or not, you can't trust him to tell the truth about anything. He sounds like one of those people who just makes up crap for the sake of it, and those people are almost always to be avoided like the plague.

Fuck that.
OP you don't have to go on a date with a bloke when there's a parade of red flags "just in case".
There are 3.5+ billion other blokes in the world, there's not a shortage. You can definitely find one who isn't a liar.

Do you not tell stories on dates? All part of the fun, I'm a nurse, I'm an air STEWARDESS, I'm a waitress, I train horses. Policewoman is always a good one.

No, because if I wanted to see the bloke again I'd have to come clean and admit that I'd told weird, pointless lies, which would be really fucking embarrassing. If I dated a man and he told me he was a horse trainer or a police officer, and then we got on really well and six dates later he admitted that he was actually no such thing and just 'told stories for fun', I'd think he was a complete wanker and I'd run for the hills.

I'd meet up with him.

Sometimes I'm more revealing to some dates than others on a first date. So might not reveal I'm divorced for example. Especially if I'm not into them, I'm not going to open up.

There's also a difference between a habit and a value. I know vegetarianism is just an example, but unless the discrepancy is about a deal reader issue such as criminal past then I'd make my own judgment.

Don't forget spurned or rejecting past dates recounting the date to friends may not be entirely accurate!

I couldn't be bothered. And no you shouldn't lie if you are looking for a person who you want to be long term. Just end it now.

I'm inclined to go, I think. Might be odd if qe really get on and they have warned me though as I would then be dating someone they think is a knob!
The discrepancy was not value based at all.
I'm probably overthinking it. Its just a date