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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how to respond to mentally ill dad when he's like this?

3 replies

anonquestionn · 03/11/2023 12:32

My DF has always had quite severe depression and anxiety, and when he's having a bad day/week he finds everyday things overwhelming. I'm in my 20s, and have 2 younger siblings who both have autism. In addition, my DF's elderly parents are both struggling with their health lately (they're in their 80s) so they need support too. All in all it's a lot of stress for him to deal with. My DM works long hours, my DF hasn't worked in decades due to his mental health.

I try and help out as much as I can. However, I ended up feeling quite upset yesterday after my DF told me that he has nothing in his life and nothing he's proud of, and as soon as his elderly parents pass away and he gets his inheritance he's moving away for good. I challenged him on this and said so you will leave and won't ever see any of your children again? and he said yes. I've had conversations like this with him before, even when I was a child.

I never know what to say, and afterwards he sort of forgets he said something so hurtful and just changes the subject. Should I just forget he says things like that despite it being really upsetting. My siblings would be devastated to hear him speak like that.

OP posts:
Catza · 03/11/2023 12:41

I think not saying anything is a very viable option. Assume it is his illness talking and do your best to not take it personally.

SkaneTos · 03/11/2023 22:16

Catza · 03/11/2023 12:41

I think not saying anything is a very viable option. Assume it is his illness talking and do your best to not take it personally.

I agree with this.

It must be a really difficult situation, OP!
Remember that you need to take care of yourself, too, in all of this.

SkaneTos · 06/11/2023 00:08

I hope you're alright, OP.

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