Tax Credits/Universal Credit support SAHMs

[Hippodogamus]

I am a single mum who has pretty much always worked since I’ve been on my own - I own my own home and have to. I also receive some Universal Credit, help with childcare costs etc.

So I’m on a few Universal CreditFacebook groups and am shocked at the number of coupled-up SAHMs posting to ask if they will need to start looking for a job when they switch from Tax Credits to Universal Credit. Their kids aren’t even young - think 10+. They moan that if they work their kids will have to be left alone. HELLO, my kids were home alone after school from the age of 11. I had no choice.

TBH I’m furious that these women get to play happy families, being there for their kids while their DP works a low-responsibility, minimum wage job so is actually around lots to help with it all.

Whereas as a single parent, not through choice, because of DV. With no support, I work and do everything- shopping, cooking, cleaning, life admin, decorating, diy, gardening. I’m so fucking knackered and actually feel like the stress and exhaustion will take years off my life.

How is it that the benefits system supports this? These women should be working like everyone else.

If they'll need to get a job when it switches over, doesn't that mean the system doesn't support it any more?

It was one of the flaws with the tax credits system, that people were able to minimise their working hours to maximise their TC income. Yes, it must feel maddening but look at it this way - you have a CV which enables you to have some level of choice in the work you do, and you’ll have been building up a pension all these years. Women who haven’t done that and have kept themselves out of work for so long will be looking at little variety of job opportunities, low pay, minimal pension and less opportunity to pay into one, and being entirely reliant on a partner.

Well done for everything you have done. I honestly think it's great and I admire you for it.

I would imagine though that as a single mother you've been subject to enough judgement not to think you know about other people's circumstances just by looking. Your rage is misdirected.

I feel the same OP. I had to leave the UC survival group as the moaning was too much.
HOWEVER
I'm aware that my ability to work full time is reliant on a few things. I am not disabled, my children are not disabled and there is sufficient wrap around care. I also have a support network and an involved co parent.
I might struggle if this want the case. My dc went through a phase of school refusal which still isn't fully better. I could certainly see that I would have had to give up work is this had been ongoing. My job were super lenient but I've now moved roles and I have to be there every day. I have patient appointments back to back and it just wouldn't be fair to carry on working and letting them down when my dc didn't go into school.

On UC, you have to work a minimum of 30 hours a week I think. They do cover 85% of childcare costs though. I don't believe you should be allowed to be a SAHP if you get some form of UC, unless of health reasons or disabilities.

UC is alot more stricter than tax credits, and it only works if you work. You have to declare everything to them and go for weekly meetings at the job centre if you don't have a job.

I don’t feel you or those mothers should be pressured into work if it doesn’t fit with your family life. Have been a SAHM single mother and a working single mother and just grateful that at that time parents were allowed a choice. It enabled me to best meet the needs of my children and also study towards getting into university. I did attend a session at the job centre once, at the time had the option of going to university for a professional qualification or getting a minimum wage job and was very much encouraged to go for the minimum wage job but thankfully at the time the choice was mine. If I hadn’t had that choice from the start I’d probably still be having to claim benefits

@Clariee45 but then who would work?! In healthcare, the largest proportion of the workforce are working mothers. Retail, catering, hospitality, admin... all the jobs that noticeably don't pay that much more than benefits. You have to make it in some way attractive. It's obviously not attractive enough which is why the government have had to get draconian and make not working not an option.
Right now I am spending £12 a day to get to work, 6K per year on childcare, work clothes, parking... stress! For 18K take home pay. If they don't make it more attractive then no one will work soon and the world will literally fall apart. There is a jaw dropping privilege of those who think they have the right to stay home with their children, pick them up everyday, when the rest of us have to be TA's, nurses, retail workers etc all so that you have someone to look after you and your family should you need it.

I do think in that sense the UC system seems slightly better as it makes it harder to stay at home just because. As much as in an ideal
world everyone would be able to stay home and follow their dreams in reality it’s possible.

it means that it’s not a case of people worrying about going over so many hours at work for worry of what they will lose because it’s more gradual.

Totally agree. Ironically I sometimes have to deal with this sort of SAHM at work - the amount of spoon feeding they need is frustrating, they’re too used to not having to take any actual responsibility. It really is no good for them.

I do work in healthcare and in a profession that has huge staff shortages. The fact that I was able to study towards getting into university (and be at home with my children when they particularly need me to be at the same time) has given the long term benefits for my children, me and the now doing a job which the country needs doing. I could of chosen the minimum wage job and I would of actually been better while I remained a single parent, I would of still been a single parent as myself and DH would of never been able to consider moving in together due to all the benefits I’d lose! Now we both work and don’t claim any benefits due to not being shoehorned

Who should pay for that?
My child is severely disabled and I had to give up work.,thankfully we have a system that supports that
But why should mothers not work just because they don't want to and be supported by the state to do that?
Its a choice to have a child

You seemed to have completely missed the point that I didn’t stay being an SAHM, not being shoehorned into any old minimum wage job meant that I went onto become and work as a healthcare professional claiming much less than it I’d ended up in a minimum wage job. I’m now married, both working and we don’t even claim child benefit 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hi OP.

While I understand your general exasperation and exhaustion at life as a lone parent (I am one myself), I completely agree with a PP who described your anger/frustration as ‘misdirected’.

Bluntly: just stop looking at what other people are doing and focus on your own life. If these SAHMs that you lament so much started working tomorrow it wouldn’t alter your life in the slightest. Them receiving less in benefits or spending fewer hours with their children doesn’t mean you’ll have more UC or more time with yours. Also, with kindness, it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Channel your limited energies elsewhere; on yourself and your children, on the things that you can change if change is needed. Nothing good has ever come from ruminating (and possibly being jealous) of what others have or do.

You’re doing a terrific job and your children are fortunate to have you. Try and live in the moments you have x

Who’s paying for it? I’m paying for it with the taxes I pay and quite happy to pay for single mothers not to be shoe horned into inappropriate jobs for the sake of it, probably costs the state far more in childcare than anything they save from paying benefits (most still receive almost as much in benefits anyway as an incentive) plus the tax people on minimum wage jobs people pay is quite minimal so it’s all a bit pointless really

Clariee45 but didn’t you do university as a single mum and now you are part of a couple, now working?

My post wasn’t a criticism of single mums who don’t work and I absolutely think you did the best thing by studying. It’s those who have tons of support, including older kids and a partner, but choose to live off benefits instead.

Exactly, bitterness of OP not going to help herself or anyone. By all means OP say it’s unjust but don’t wish the same rotten life and lack of choice for everyone else

@Johannesburg8942 I would notice because my life would become a lot easier. More people in lower band jobs would help the nhs, reduce agency costs, improve waiting times for surgeries, assessments, improve bed availability, get more people out of hospital into care homes. In other sectors it would improve the education system, help improve SEN facilities.
Frankly we need those women back in the workforce. The stay at home parents I know are nurses, social workers, radiographers, architects, what a bloody waste!

The beauty of UC means that it's a lot harder to be a career SAHM now.
I love the fact we have a benefit system, but I think it's been abused for far too long.
If you're not disabled or have genuine health issues, then you should be working. Regardless of the age of your child (unless you can afford not to)
I'm a single parent, have always worked full time, and had to pay thousands in childcare over the years. Yes I've received 'top-ups' from Tax Credits/UC over the years - but its got me to a point whereby I no longer need to claim them.
Like you, it used to irritate me that people were essentially being paid to stay at home with their children whilst I was working hard to support us all.
It's very hard to do that on UC now - and it favours the working people which I think is great!

@Clariee45 with respect not everyone has the capability to study to degree level. Lots on UC, would not be eligible for student finance either due to already having degrees. It's not fair that large proportions of people can stay off work because their dream job doesn't come up. Especially when there's lots of apprenticeships and work based qualifications out there.

Who’s paying for it? I’m paying for it with the taxes I pay and quite happy to pay for single mothers not to be shoe horned into inappropriate jobs for the sake of it, probably costs the state far more in childcare than anything they save from paying benefits (most still receive almost as much in benefits anyway as an incentive) plus the tax people on minimum wage jobs people pay is quite minimal so it’s all a bit pointless really
What happens when they are fewer who pay in than those who take out? Aren't we already in this position?

The main problem is that the impact is not just a few years but potentially lifelong.

The longer SAHM, the harder to get back into work, the more likely to be PT and indeed lower paid, and continue to do so after the children have left home. They are much less likely to pay into private pensions.

You are looking at the short term impact and totally missing the much more severe long term impact.

Nailed it.

But also OP you sound absolutely run ragged and I empathise as in similar position myself (work full time, parent single handedly etc) as it is exhausting so I'm starting to think I need to drop down to 4 days a week for my own sanity. If you get UC top up have you considered dropping hours slightly? There's a sweet spot between not working at all and working to the detriment of your own health xx

@Clariee45 you're also missing the benefit of childcare. Lots of it is for the child's benefit.

I was a single mother SAHM for a period of time before I went to university, actually my DC was going through diagnosis for special needs (but it can be an array of reasons why working doesn’t suit at that time, school refusal, mental health, etc which wouldn’t meet the current requirements to be allowed to be excused from work now) I then went to university, qualified and worked and subsequently met my DH. We’re both working now, not eligible for any benefits but grateful for the time I had the support when I needed it. I come across a lot of people on UC in my job and sure if they had the choice between a nice job and work life balance and being on UC they would choose the former. When you look at the figures for those working and on UC and claiming childcare support, they often get as much in benefits as those that don’t work anyway. I think it’s better to facilitate people into the work they want to do and what suits their family best at the time, especially as that doesn’t actually cost anymore. Being a parent and running a household is enough of a job as it is, working parents usually get to outsource a chunk of that work

@TransformationChynaDoll Which is why those not working are entitled to the 15 hours, the evidence doesn’t show that more than that is beneficial, it just costs the government more

Eh? We have two full time working parents and I can assure you we still have to run a household as well. I can afford a cleaner every 2 weeks for 2 hours to do a proper go on the bathroom and kitchen. What else don't I have to do because I'm working?

as it happens, I think benefit support for genuine training would be a very good idea to allow people to upskill, but life is such that we can't all do work we love.