Pregnant and depressed

[Sadmammaduck]

I’m definitely being unreasonable. This second baby was planned and so wanted and now I feel nothing but fear and regret.

I can’t sleep, I can’t eat and I don’t feel connected at all. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like I’m letting our older child down as I’m really struggling to cope to parent DC right now so having another is going to ruin everything.

DH is amazing, tries to support and does everything for DC at the moment. I’m just a mess. I can’t find joy in anything and can’t bear to tell anyone I’m pregnant or discuss the possibility of having another DC.

I’ve spoken to the GP, who said I should increase my anti depressants as ‘the benefit probably outweighs the risk’. I’m already damaging this child before it arrives.

This pregnancy has been so different to my first, I know this baby will be the opposite gender to DC and I can’t process that (even though in the past it wouldn’t have bothered me and I’d have been happy with one of both).

I’m such a failure and I’m letting everyone down.

Is there anything I can do to prevent further harm to my DC and the baby?

I know the increase in medication will take some time to have an effect. Can you ask GP to refer you to psychiatry/psychology and see if they have a therapist you can talk to? Together you can work out some coping mechanisms and work to find your joy again. I'm so glad you have a support system. You are not harming your baby, OP. Time to take care of yourself. Call as soon as you can. You've got this!

Hi Op,

Didn't want to read and run. I was where you are a matter of months ago, felt so unconnected and depressed about my very planned and wanted pregnancy! I'm up cuddling my 4 month old and I can tell you it gets so much better xx
Pregnancy is really tough, physically and emotionally. Be kind to yourself. You don't mention how far on you are, are you seeing a midwife? Speak to them about how you are feeling, they can also refer you to the perinatal mental health team. Sending love xx

Thank you. I’m 15 weeks but haven’t had a midwife appointment yet, they keep getting cancelled. If I mention how bad I’m feeling I don’t want them to get social services involved. SS were involved a lot when I was a child and it was awful.