What would you do? Marriage breakdown

[Startingoverstressed]

Hi,
I posted a few months back about my marriage breakdown and got a lot of helpful advice (alcohol issues, think depression, refused help) well he basically wouldn't fight for the marriage, agreed it wasn't working. I am so scared! Financially especially. 2 children 4 and 2. Here is the advice I need help on.
House is shared mortgage with roughly 84k equity. Interest rate is 1.78% fixed until Jan 26. After fees or whatever he will be entitled to 40k. Do I sell now knowing what the interest rates are and go our separate ways? Do I try and stay in the house until the youngest is 18 and then find 40k to pay him? I could potentially sell and move in with my mum (and brother) but would be a squeeze and probably end in tears plus with interest rates being as they are would I end up paying more for less house? Surely so.

I'm so scared for the future.

There is a job that might be coming up that would allow for me to earn double my wage so money wouldn't be a worry however, I currently work from home and am flexible around my children. This new job is out on the road and I would have to depend on him and grandparents a lot more and hardly see my children through the week. Bit I would be able to afford them treats, birthday/Christmas presents, holidays etc.

Wish someone had a crystal ball so I knew what to do and how it's going to be 1,2,5 years from now.

My chest feels so tight with worry all the time.

Sorry to hear you’re in this situation op. What would I do? I would see if the new role had any flexibility to work from home even 1-2 days per week… without that I would be loathed to accept. Yes you could buy them treats but they would prefer to have you. Is there any scope to move up in your current role? Or take on more hours if you’re not full time? More money gives you more options for sure.
im not sure about the mortgage part, hopefully someone will come by in a bit. You seem switched on though op, I’m sure you will find a way to get through this

If you have such a low interest rate, you would be absolutely crazy to sell now. I think you should live in the house with the children for now and pay the full mortgage if you can until 2026 when you can discuss things again. If you change the mortgage, you will pay a hell of a lot more per month.

Ideally I'd get something drawn up to say he owns 40k in equity in the house. Then live in it until the DCs are adults. Then buy him out/sell up. Your equity is only going to grow, so it's a no brainer to stay there. If you can afford to, I'd stay in the job you have to give the DCs some stability in what will already be a difficult time for them.

Thank you all. Sorry just found post again. On a different account from my original post for some reason.

Definitely makes sense what you have about mortgage Fionaville thank you I'll look into getting something drawn up. Got the valuation on Thursday to get it in writing what it's worth now.

In regards to the job Definitely no scope to work from home at all. They get paid a lot more and car because they are out in the field. I suppose I'm just torn between mum guilt about being here and being able to afford a life for us. But I see what you are saying about stability. I think I am going to speak to work about what hours they can offer in that job and if its full time (long hours) I won't go for it. I could potentially go to full time and start working Fridays but I need to see if I can get help with childcare fees for that day as my youngest doesn't get 30 hours until April. Thank you, I was very scared and stressed when I posted this, especially about needing a car and the job seemed to answer all my issues but maybe it will just create different issues.

Why do you think you can only pay him the current equity if you end up hanging on to the asset until the DC are adults?

You’ll have to apply for a special order to remain in the house until children are 18. You’ll also need to pay him half of whatever the property is valued at when it’s sold, not now. Is he happy for you to remain in the house paying the mortgage?

Because I'd be solely paying the mortgage for the next 16 years? Would he still get half of what it's worth in 16 years then? So fat he has said he'd be happy for this arrangement but obviously I'm not doing it if I'm paying the mortgage for him to get more equity in the future