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AIBU?

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Original poster

Power of Attorney

18 replies

makesmestronger · 02/11/2023 20:57

Hi wasn't sure where to post so apologies if this is the wrong board.

So my mum has me as Power of Attorney for Health and Financial, but I've never seen a certificate. I've recently been made Power of Attorney for my Father in Law and a certificate has come through the post and its so easy to show the bank, care home etc.

I asked my mum for a copy of her certificate and she is declining to give them to me (controlling behaviour but thats another story) is there a way I can get a copy from a goverment office it would be so much easier if I had a copy incase I need it rather than find time to go to her house, try and remember a safe number and find it in there with countless other documents?? Thank you

OP posts:
PinkCyclamen · 02/11/2023 21:05

Did you get notification from the office of public guardian that you were going to be given POA? Is it possible that you don't really have it? If you do have POA, you need to register it with the banks you want access to. You can't just wave the certificate when you do need it.

PetsAreBetter · 02/11/2023 21:08

I'm POA for two people and it involved signing legal documents to accept the position. Did you sign anything? If you didn't, I'd wonder if you do have POA at all. She doesn't just mean you are down as next of kin?

HappyToSmile · 02/11/2023 21:10

I'm also POA for my parents, both health and wealth and there was a Lot of paperwork involved before we even got the final paperwork back. Do you think she understands what POA is and isnt confusing it with next of kin maybe?

Kangaroobrain · 02/11/2023 21:29

Yeah, I'd also be questioning whether you really are or if she's got it confused with something else. When my sister and I were made POAs for mum there was quite a bit of paperwork to sign, and we received individual copies through the post to our own addresses.

Original poster
makesmestronger · 02/11/2023 21:48

I did sign something but can't remember what now and of course don't have a copy - when I asked for a copy tonight I was told 'it was her property' so I am questioning if 1. I am POA 2. if you can't trust me with a copy then you can't trust me to make decisions on your behalf!

OP posts:
TheGreatHat · 02/11/2023 21:50

Agree with previous posters. You'd know if you had POA. But the actual original certificate is either held by your mum or her solicitors. You/she can ask her solicitor for a certified copy.

If the POA was granted after 2016 (I think that's correct) , you can grant specific institutions access to see the details you need them to via the you gov website. They often don't need to see a physical paper certificate.

Takes a few weeks to set up because you need to activate it first which involves them sending a code in a letter in the post

Projectme · 02/11/2023 21:55

Literally just done my parents. It takes 20 weeks from the office of the public guardian receiving correct documents to the point when the poa is in place. You should have received something to confirm poa in place after the 20 weeks

usernamealreadytaken · 02/11/2023 22:03

When DH went through the process with DFIL, he had to sign and have his signature witnessed, it’s a very formal document. Could DM be confusing with executor of her will?

PinkiOcelot · 02/11/2023 22:06

When I did POA for my mam the documents came to my house not my mam. My sisters who were also POA got a letter and I got the official document. I just hung on to it until I actually had to register it.

Brendabigbaps · 02/11/2023 22:06

We’ve just been through this for my mum.
when it’s finalised they will write to all POA’s and the person who they are POA for. The nominated POA gets the formal document. If you were POA they would have sent you the document.

Snoeberry · 02/11/2023 22:07

The office of the Public Guardian should have sent you a letter about it in the post.

Has your mum actually set you up as her attorney? It sounds like she hasn't..
I would point this out to her.

Snoeberry · 02/11/2023 22:08

You would have signed the paperwork for it as well.

curtaintwitchersannonymous · 02/11/2023 22:10

You are sent your own copy, if that has not happened, you don't have POA

Notquitegrownup2 · 03/11/2023 10:59

No, you are not sent your own copy. When the application is put in then the applicant ticks a box to say whether they would like the form to go to the donor or attorney, so if you mum has applied for it she would have had it sent to her.

As you say, if she doesn't trust you to have a copy of the form she can't want to to help her. Just tell her that unless she gives the form to you - or tells you where she keeps it - she will have no help.

By the way there are 2 forms: Power of Attorney for Health and Welfare then another for Property and Finance so you may need copies of both if she has organized both.

Timeforchangeithink · 03/11/2023 11:06

To be fair you don't actually need a copy until you need to put it into action do you. I wonder if your DM reluctance to give you a copy is simply her holding onto her independence? Cant you just clarify with her where to find it should the time ever arise that you need use it eg in the event of an accident?

x2boys · 03/11/2023 11:08

Me and my sister have lasting power if Attorney for our parents should they need ,it it involved going to a,solicitors and signing some forms as I recall.

Snoeberry · 03/11/2023 11:09

I was not sent a copy, no. But was sent a notification letter to my address from the OPG to say how to set it up online.

Surely op should have received that..

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