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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to have sex with my partner

28 replies

Upsetandfedup35 · 02/11/2023 16:30

I'm in a bit of a dry spell with my partner at the moment. And im feeling really sad that he isn't getting any action at all. Im 35 and he is 48. We have been together 11 years and have young children together. I have been having gynae issues this last year including cervical ectropion, ovarian cysts and pain and bleeding amongstother things. I just don't want to do the deed because it triggers a bleed and then I have to deal with the pads and blood etc for days afterwards. Also I think my hormones have dropped off and I'm just never in The mood. I feel so bad for him but I just really don't want to be touched down there incase of pain and bleeding. We do other things once in a blue moon and always lots of kisses and cuddles, affection. But I'm trying to explain to him that it's uncomfortable for me and I'm tired from being a toddler mum etc. AIBU for thinking of telling him i would like a sexless relationship until I can feel better and get the treatment I need for my health. Are any of you mumsnetters in a similar situation? How did you broach ot with your partners? I just really don't want him to think I don't feel attracted to him because I am. He's gorgeous and an amazing partner and father. I just don't want to have that intimate side of a relationship with him right now.

OP posts:
IsThereABarUpThere · 03/11/2023 15:07

Absolutely not unreasonable if you're bleeding and having pain. But there will become a point where you get better, can you honestly say you'd want sex then?

Can you see yourself ever having sex with him again?

I think long dry spells are a slippery slope.

IsThereABarUpThere · 03/11/2023 15:09

SecondUsername4me · 02/11/2023 19:52

I think while you are so poorly the man needs to get over himself. Once you feel better you can revisit whatever you feel comfortable with.

No decent man should be forcing you to have sex given what happens to you from it, while you are trying to get better.

Where is the OPs husband forcing her to have sex? Can you quote where you got that information from?
Forcing someone to have sex is rape.

The OPs partner has not raped her in this instance.

Jesus wept.

IsThereABarUpThere · 03/11/2023 15:12

For the PPs saying the OPs husband is 'pushing and forcing' to have sex..

Are you on glue? Where has the OP said that? She said her husband is wonderful..

The man is entitled to a sex life. Yes he has to wait a bit for OP to get better but he's not some kind of a perv for expressing a want to be intimate with his wife.

Jesus, the men haters are out there today.

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