My parents separated when I was 8 months old. My father moved to another city when I was 3, and my mum when I was 5. I was left with my abusive nan. Just to give you an idea, my auntie went to therapy during her divorce and her therapist said that her mother (my nan) sounded like a textbook narcissist.
My mum was aware of the abusive behaviour, she was exposed to that growing up herself, yet left me with her. I'd see her every 2-3 week. Even before she moved away, I'd see her only on weekends and odd weekdays. I was left with my nan pretty much full time since I was a newborn. The reason for her relocation was a promotion and she did well in her career. She bought investment properties and always said that 'I had to abandon my beloved daughter with a heavy heart, but sorted our future and finances.'
I moved in with her when I was 10, but our bond was never strong. I was left unsupervised whilst she worked long hours. I moved abroad when I was 23 and have been living away for the last 6 years.
I don't speak with my father. In mum's case, she is 55 and retired, travelling the world. 5-6 long haul and around 10 short haul trips a year. She phones me pretty much every day but often to moan about her problems and money. She also asks favours such as 'can you look for a cheap flight ticket to so and so country?' despite me having shown her how to use Skyscanner many times. Or 'can you help me create a video comprised of my photos from my last trip?' I work full time and don't have time for any of this. Also, quite frankly, I don't feel particularly close to her.
Today we had a fight on the phone. She told me that she put one of the houses on sale. I told her that it's her money and she can do whatever she wants with it, but I felt disappointed that the only silver lining of me growing up motherless was the financial security of those houses. She told me that it was her houses and hers only and she didn't owe me anything.
She said that I wasn't even a good daughter as I never helped her out (with the things I mentioned above). I told her I didn't rely on her at any point of my life anyway. I told her that despite struggling with anxiety and depression since I know myself because of the childhood I had, I had a good career and made something out of my life. She then said 'You won't go far in life if you still blame me for your issues and act like a victim'. I hung up and decided to go low contact going forward. AIBU?