I’ve messed up my dream job - devastated

[noodles74]

I started a new remote role in a freelance capacity last month that makes me very happy - the work is interesting and it truly is my dream job. Initially I did well and they said they were pleased with my work. However, these past few weeks I’ve made a number of silly mistakes and feel absolutely terrible about it. I can’t explain why really - they were just silly errors that I made whilst working under pressure (at times the job is quite full on). Nobody has spoken to me about the mistakes directly but they are certainly aware of them. I now can’t stop beating myself up, feel I’m not good enough and am terrified they won’t want to work with me anymore. Previously they said they would offer me more work but I haven’t heard anything since. I believe I do have it in me to do better but fear it’s too late. Is there anything I can do or have I blown it?

I think you need to rethink why this is a dream job for you, a freelance one where I'd you make a few mistakes in the first month that you'll immediately be let go.

I bet there are better jobs out there OP. you can't beat yourself up over making mistakes because literally everybody makes them

Freelance work means you don't have a manager to check your work, you're responsible to make sure it's 100% correct, on time, in the right format etc.

If you are kept on you'll need to address these.

I know - and I’ve really messed up. Is it worth chasing them about potentially getting more work or should I just leave it? I feel so upset that I’ve blown things.

What kind of mistakes were they? Could it be that you're overthinking it?

When you're freelance you don't get many chances to reprove yourself. This isn't a job, it's you providing a service. If you went to a bakery and they slightly messed up your order each time, you would just switch bakery

Part of the problem is that you say you don't really know why you made the mistakes. If that's the case then you can't put a process in to stop it happening. Have a think about what you could do to prevent those mistakes. Put those steps in place. Then contact the company again, ask for any further contracts and explain that you've overhauled your processes.
I also agree with a PP about reconsidering whether or not this is your dream job. 'Dream jobs' can be fantasies that the reality doesn't match. If you made silly mistakes, maybe it's not your dream job after all.

Depends on the mistakes. Are they easily fixable ?

I agree with the other poster who suggested that you perhaps question why working in this way is your 'dream' job.

You say the work is 'full on' and you are frightened that the company will drop you if you make mistakes. This made me wonder whether the work is 'freelance' in the fullest sense of the word.

Do you set your own timescale for the work? Do you invoice the company for work done? Or is this one of those companies that asks you to do a minimum of X units (gigs) of work in Y days at quite a low rate of pay, and issues statements like, 'If too many mistakes are made, your allocations will cease'?

I work for such a company as one of several strands of employment I have. The company has been useful as an extra source of income, but the work is only freelance by name and the company benefits greatly through not paying its 'freelancers' tax, holiday pay, sickness pay or any other benefits, and through sending stern e-mails reminding them of their total expendability. However, the work can be enjoyable from a personal point of view

I apologise if you really have a great job.