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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To raise this with the school?

48 replies

Savi98 · 02/11/2023 09:03

Yesterday my child (5) was in after school club. Picked up, everything fine. School run this morning another parent told me that child was let out on their own and wandering round the school grounds. She had to take him back to the classroom and tell them his parent wasn't here. I wasn't informed of this but suspect in the rush of home time it might have been dismissed as minor. There are safeguarding issues in place around his father who is not allowed to collect and has supervised contact only, however in reality the chances of him being at the school were slim, so maybe this is a non issue. It's only happened once but I am concerned it happened at all. Teachers have a really hard time, I know this. I don't want to teacher bash. Would you raise this or just put it down to a mistake that (hopefully) won't happen again?

OP posts:
Yourebeingtooloud · 02/11/2023 09:07

I’m a teacher. This is very serious. 5 yos should only be handed directly to parents/carers - this shouldn’t have been able to happen.

That said, mistakes do happen and even teachers are only human but I would have expected to be told. Along with how the school will make sure this doesn’t happen again.

I wouldn’t go in all guns blazing but would definitely raise it and want reassurance about how it can be prevented in future. I’d also drum into my child that they mustn’t leave the classroom door without me there / asc collecting them.

Original poster
Savi98 · 02/11/2023 09:09

Yourebeingtooloud · 02/11/2023 09:07

I’m a teacher. This is very serious. 5 yos should only be handed directly to parents/carers - this shouldn’t have been able to happen.

That said, mistakes do happen and even teachers are only human but I would have expected to be told. Along with how the school will make sure this doesn’t happen again.

I wouldn’t go in all guns blazing but would definitely raise it and want reassurance about how it can be prevented in future. I’d also drum into my child that they mustn’t leave the classroom door without me there / asc collecting them.

Thank you. It's really helpful to have a response from a teacher. I feel really angry thinking about what might have happened if another parent hadn't clocked he was on his own. He could have wandered off. Nobody would have noticed. Its a horrible thought and thankfully he was fine.

OP posts:
Themostimportantpart · 02/11/2023 09:10

You need to raise this, it is a failure on the schools part.
Your child may have snuck out so you need to speak to him too.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 02/11/2023 09:10

Maybe I'm a tad overboard as my own 4yo is Neurodiverse and a flight risk with no safety... but I'd go absolutely fucking nuts. Anyone could have been lurking about and at that age it wouldn't take a lot of effort to lure a child away. If they'd at least mentioned it to you, said what would be put in place to happen again? But I'd still go nuts in all honesty.

Original poster
Savi98 · 02/11/2023 09:11

Themostimportantpart · 02/11/2023 09:10

You need to raise this, it is a failure on the schools part.
Your child may have snuck out so you need to speak to him too.

They all sit on the carpet and are let out one by one through one door. Once one has left, another is then called to leave when the teacher can see their parent. I don't know how he could have snuck out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Savi98 · 02/11/2023 09:13

I'm not planning on going nuts but would like to be firm in my response. Will an email suffice or should I ask to speak to someone in person?

OP posts:
Wrongsideofpennines · 02/11/2023 09:14

I would raise it as something has clearly gone wrong. By the sounds of it they weren't even aware of it until a parent took him back in so I wonder if someone else was monitoring the parent pick up yesterday. They need a plan in place to prevent it happening again.

Original poster
Savi98 · 02/11/2023 09:14

Wrongsideofpennines · 02/11/2023 09:14

I would raise it as something has clearly gone wrong. By the sounds of it they weren't even aware of it until a parent took him back in so I wonder if someone else was monitoring the parent pick up yesterday. They need a plan in place to prevent it happening again.

There's a supply teacher currently but usual classroom assistants were there too.

OP posts:
SisterMichaelsHabit · 02/11/2023 09:15

I'd mention it to them but I'd start the conversation carefully as the other parent could be lying or exaggerating. I've met a couple of compulsive liars who make stuff like this up in my life. If it's true then yes that was a serious safeguarding issue that the school need to take steps to prevent happening again.

Original poster
Savi98 · 02/11/2023 09:16

SisterMichaelsHabit · 02/11/2023 09:15

I'd mention it to them but I'd start the conversation carefully as the other parent could be lying or exaggerating. I've met a couple of compulsive liars who make stuff like this up in my life. If it's true then yes that was a serious safeguarding issue that the school need to take steps to prevent happening again.

The other parent is my friend who knew my child was meant to be in after school club. She wouldn't lie.

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 02/11/2023 09:17

I would check with school. If did happen as described by other parent would want to know how they will prevent going forward. I would also remind your DS that be needs to stay on the carpet until called

Mammyloveswine · 02/11/2023 09:32

This happened with my ND 7 year old, I was furious and the teachers response made it worse putting the blame on my son. I asked if she was aware of his needs and the fact that he has no concept of stranger danger so she had put him at serious harm!

I'm a teacher myself and am meticulous at home time!!

Please raise it with the school-I suspect the supply teacher got confused and sent your child out thinking they'd seen the parent. IMO when supply are in it should be the teaching assistant who dismisses the children who knows the parent!!

Mummyof287 · 02/11/2023 10:03

How can you even be CONSIDERING not taking this further?! Or know that you need to be straight on the phone to OFSTED making a formal complaint, and demanding an urgent meeting with the headteacher?!

Your child is 5.Anything could have happened.The fact the school didn't notify you themselves of what happened and covered it all up makes it even worse!

Stop worrying about what others think and protect your child first and foremost.

This happening was totally unacceptable.

Smartiepants79 · 02/11/2023 10:10

Mummyof287 · 02/11/2023 10:03

How can you even be CONSIDERING not taking this further?! Or know that you need to be straight on the phone to OFSTED making a formal complaint, and demanding an urgent meeting with the headteacher?!

Your child is 5.Anything could have happened.The fact the school didn't notify you themselves of what happened and covered it all up makes it even worse!

Stop worrying about what others think and protect your child first and foremost.

This happening was totally unacceptable.

I hope this is a joke.
What an extraordinary overreaction.

Please go into school sensibly and enquire about what you have been told. It is something that should be looked at to try and ensure it doesn’t happen again.
If the teachers response is not what you would hope then calmly escalate it to their superiors.
If your child has no SEN then a firm word about staying where he’s supposed to be and not wandering off outside on his own is also needed.
With large groups of small children at chaotic times of the day the 1 adult in charge is relying on most of them doing what they’re told and staying put until called.
Has he been taken to after school club and wandered out from there?
Did you ask him what had happened?

Original poster
Savi98 · 02/11/2023 10:13

Smartiepants79 · 02/11/2023 10:10

I hope this is a joke.
What an extraordinary overreaction.

Please go into school sensibly and enquire about what you have been told. It is something that should be looked at to try and ensure it doesn’t happen again.
If the teachers response is not what you would hope then calmly escalate it to their superiors.
If your child has no SEN then a firm word about staying where he’s supposed to be and not wandering off outside on his own is also needed.
With large groups of small children at chaotic times of the day the 1 adult in charge is relying on most of them doing what they’re told and staying put until called.
Has he been taken to after school club and wandered out from there?
Did you ask him what had happened?

Edited
Show quote history

I have no intention of reporting to OFSTED or demanding anything. Don't worry. I appreciate everyone's advice. Was just a little shocked that it happened!

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 02/11/2023 10:17

And you are right to be a bit concerned. Definitely go and find out more and see what they’ve got to say.
Also impress on your child the importance of staying where he’s supposed to!

Mummyof287 · 02/11/2023 11:01

Everyone is so 'pro school' on this site 🤦‍♀️
I think given a 5yo child was wandering around outside unsupervised and the school covered this up, complaining to OFSTED is not an overreaction.
The school will likely be dismissive and not take your concerns seriously unless they are scared into doing so.
If the child was older, I might have been less inclined to suggest it, but ultimately if they make this mistake again with a young child, the child could be abducted or hit by a car, who knows.
All the people saying 'people make mistakes' wouldn't say it if something bad had happened.
And shocked at the people saying a 5yo should be taking responsibility for not wandering off, asif the incompetence of the staff is somehow their fault!
Thank goodness the other parent told you! I would be removing my child from the school personally....what else do they hide from you?!

crumblingschools · 02/11/2023 11:47

@Mummyof287 you need the full details before even thinking about contacting OFSTED. Reporting to OFSTED is trotted out so often on MN. It isn’t the wonderful solution people think it is.

toomanyleggings · 02/11/2023 11:54

Christ yes of course. This always scared me about using after school club. I noticed ours wasn’t taking proper registers and wasn’t supervising kids on the yard between breakfast club and school and I absolutely raised it. I’m a teacher myself but you have to be able to go to work knowing your child is where you’ve paid for them to be.

Smartiepants79 · 02/11/2023 11:55

Mummyof287 · 02/11/2023 11:01

Everyone is so 'pro school' on this site 🤦‍♀️
I think given a 5yo child was wandering around outside unsupervised and the school covered this up, complaining to OFSTED is not an overreaction.
The school will likely be dismissive and not take your concerns seriously unless they are scared into doing so.
If the child was older, I might have been less inclined to suggest it, but ultimately if they make this mistake again with a young child, the child could be abducted or hit by a car, who knows.
All the people saying 'people make mistakes' wouldn't say it if something bad had happened.
And shocked at the people saying a 5yo should be taking responsibility for not wandering off, asif the incompetence of the staff is somehow their fault!
Thank goodness the other parent told you! I would be removing my child from the school personally....what else do they hide from you?!

Ofsted will not be interested unless she has gone through all the schools own procedures. Which is as it should be.
Have school ‘covered it up’ ? - that’s not the impression I’ve got.
Its also unclear as to who should have been responsible for him at this time. School or after school club. In my school that is two totally separate things as club is an outside provider. Can

Original poster
Savi98 · 02/11/2023 12:06

Smartiepants79 · 02/11/2023 11:55

Ofsted will not be interested unless she has gone through all the schools own procedures. Which is as it should be.
Have school ‘covered it up’ ? - that’s not the impression I’ve got.
Its also unclear as to who should have been responsible for him at this time. School or after school club. In my school that is two totally separate things as club is an outside provider. Can

Show quote history

School were responsible at this point. After school club hadn't collected him yet. I've spoken to my friend who said she took him back to the classroom, said his mum wasn't here, they told him he needs to wait until his mum is here and he said 'but the teacher told me she was here and gave me my coat and told me to get my bag'. I'll speak with them about it. I have no intention of going to Ofsted.

OP posts:
MrsPCR · 02/11/2023 19:17

You must follow this up, in writing, so it cannot just be ignored or explained away.

Similar happened with my 6 year old last year, and school tried to claim they'd seen Dad go past to get younger child from nursery so let him out, but Dad hadn't even arrived at school and just found him wandering the playground.

He'd already asked another parent if they'd seen his Dad and just said 'no, sorry ' and left him!! I was equally as angry with that parent!

Anyway, school's solution was my son would always be last to leave so they could ensure he was physically handed over to a parent. 🙄 Nevermind checking procedures to keep everyone safe.

nanamoo · 02/11/2023 20:47

Savi98 · 02/11/2023 09:13

I'm not planning on going nuts but would like to be firm in my response. Will an email suffice or should I ask to speak to someone in person?

Speaking to them face to face would be better than an email.

My youngest is on the spectrum and in his last year of primary school, he managed to get out of the school building without the teacher knowing he'd gone. It was only noticed when my partner had gone to collect him from school and he wasn't there! I went ballistic at the school. He'd managed to get out of the school grounds too, he'd found a gap in the fence where it was broken. The police were there with dogs and they even got the helicopter out to look for him. They stated that all main doors are locked until the classes are dismissed, the locks were up near top of the doors so the kids couldn't reach (my DS was tiny for his age) , the gates were both locked too and there was members of staff in the playgrounds too as it was almost home time. The janitor only unlocked the gates as the kids were being let out from the building. Not one person saw him! We still don't know how he managed to get out of the school. There was safeguarding issues with his dad too but thankfully his dad wasn't in the area at the time, it's the 1st thing that goes through your mind tho. DS was eventually found hours later in a park, a couple miles away from the school.

ScartlettSole · 02/11/2023 20:57

Savi98 · 02/11/2023 12:06

School were responsible at this point. After school club hadn't collected him yet. I've spoken to my friend who said she took him back to the classroom, said his mum wasn't here, they told him he needs to wait until his mum is here and he said 'but the teacher told me she was here and gave me my coat and told me to get my bag'. I'll speak with them about it. I have no intention of going to Ofsted.

Show quote history

Have they got you or him mixed up? I saw you said its a supply teacher has she confused another mum for you and sent him out or confused him with another child?
Definitely say to the school. I agree with theres no need to go in guns blazing but it needs to be raised to see what went wrong and how to prevent it happening again.

ScartlettSole · 02/11/2023 20:59

@Mummyof287 Jesus, did you stretch before jumping to your conclusions 🤣