My mother over the years growing up put a stop to anything I ever wanted to do. Her constant criticisms about everything I said and everything I did and wanting to know where I was at all times meant she never knew where I was as I would tell her any old BS. I left home at 16 to live in a flat share. She broke in one day and cleaned the place then screamed blue murder at me for living in filth and her HAVING to round to clean for me.
I too got married at 17 and moved 300 miles away and didn’t give my forwarding address
This woman’s behaviour sounds more like a creepy stalker
It isn’t sweet and it isn’t kind to offer solutions to problems your children don’t know they have. It is not being a good parent to step in so much.
How will they know how to do anything if you do it all for them.
How will they figure out anything on their own if they are not allowed to.
She is taking away from her dds life and making it her own.
As a daughter in this situation I would have got some cream paint and returned the kitchen to the original colour
If this daughter doesn’t put up boundaries then she is heading for a very unhappy life.