To just quit my job..

[mylittleponyrainbow]

I work because I like to have a little bit of independence and it being good for my mental health.
I've found my most recent job has been detrimental to my mental health, it's stressful, not very well paid and after putting dd in nursery we've had Covid, Norovirus, cold.. it's exhausting. I feel constantly anxious.
DH wage is good and covers everything thank god.
Aibu or will I be seen as lazy if I just quit and be a SAHM for a while?

The economy isn’t great true - but the job isn’t working for you… Can you reduce your hours, just do a few days a week to keep your hand in, keep contributing to a pension?

Or can you use these years to retrain to doing a job that will be flexible around your children? Even if it doesn’t bring in a huge amount of money. See what’s available to you?

I think SAHM can get a bit cosy. But maybe that’s just my viewpoint. It’s your life.

Harvest festival is a complete nonevent. If, on balance, you feel it's best for you and your family to stop working, go ahead, but definitely don't do it because you feel like you have to attend every random "celebration" that children are doing. They're endless and 90% of them really don't matter.

that's a question for your DH. it should be a joint decision if one does want to give up work.

Do what’s best for you and your child. You don’t have to work.

I would quit and start your own business and decide what hours you want to work. Not an MLM, mind.

Also think in the long term about what pension you will have - make provision for yourself and longer term plans to be financially independent so that you would be ok if you ever split up with DH.

If I was you I’d quit! Just take the time you need, find a more suitable job when you’re ready a year or 2 with your children sounds like it’d be good for you.

We can’t afford to just live on DP’s wage so i’m having to figure out how to go self employed to pick my hours but keep earning. I’d jump at your DH’s offer and enjoy the time!

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Only yours and your DH's input should influence this decision. Look at it this way, you don't need the money. Someone who does will most likely fill the vacancy you will leave. Mental and/or physical health is not worth sacrificing for any job. You are lucky you have another option.

In this situation though you just call in for carers leave and say you have no other options? Or you call in sick yourself. But anyway if you don’t need the money and it’s affecting your mental health and life outside of work leave. Does finishing before your probation end let you finish with a shorter notice period?

If you like the idea of having your own money and job, take a little more time and find another job- maybe less hours? 4 days is a lot with a 19 month old x

good luck whatever you choose x. X

If you can afford to quit a Job they you hate and/or is affecting your mental health then definitely you should. Look round for some thing you like, or wait a bit til dd is older and it's easier to work around her.
You don't need to feel guilt around societal expectations at all. Just enjoy your freedom!

I very much doubt the majority of men would really want to give up work and be a full time parent plus be responsible for all the housework.
If it was that easy then most men would do it.
Op- do what us best for you and your family.

Like PP have said, MH is worth more than any job. And once it goes properly t*ts up, it can be quite difficult to regain a balance. If your H is in agreement, and it sounds like he is, I'd be out of there like a hot snot. You can work again in the future, it just doesn't suit right now.

I did the same, DH is a very high earner and loves his job, I get to raise our children. Win win win

Sitting around at home all day is not going to do much for your mental health. You need to be out there, using your skills, in a routine and accountable for where you need to be each day at a given time.
Look for a better job that brings you more. Forget the money aspect if you are fairly comfortable, think of job satisfaction.

You need to look at the right job for you should you wish to work
Happy to make suggestions (I'm a qualified careers advisor)

Do what’s best for you and your family. It’s not lazy to be a SAHM. I’d quit my job in a second if I could. Enjoy being with your daughter, you never get this time back, make it special x

I work full time and I have done since my twins were five months old because I chose to and it works for me. I fully and 100% support your decision to quit working if that’s what works for you (which it sounds like it does). Anyone who judges you for quitting is either jealous or a dick! Life is too short to people please. Also, well done on choosing a goodun for a husband!

Think about pension. You need to have a pension of your own.

You should not stay in a job that is making you miserable.

I would quit this one, take a bit of time to recover and maybe then try to find another less stressful and more flexible part-time job. Or think about starting a small business or getting an additional qualification/retrain in something you will enjoy more.

Looking after two young children is a job in itself. I assume you are also the one who does the biggest share of the housework .

So your partner might the one bringing most of/all the money but your contribution (kids and home) is equally valid and important.

I was in a similar position and decided to quit, OP.
I’m someone who likes to be busy and felt like I should be contributing at least something. I took a job as a teaching assistant because I thought it would be a good, children-friendly, term-time stress free job, rather than going back to my original career which was much more demanding.
We both had illness after illness, the staff politics were very wearing, I had no training for working with very challenging children (literally trying to jump out of windows) and I got fed up with doing lunch duty in the cold. It just stopped being worth the little extra money it did make.
I don’t regret it at all and went back to work when the children were more independent.

Since when is providing full time care for a 19 month old, plus wraparound care for a school aged child "sitting around at home all day"?

If you can, then do it!! I'm currently tied up in knots about a job I took that I really shouldn't have that is messing with my head badly, but ive got bills to pay.. if I had the luxury of not having to work then I'd grab the opportunity with both hands and run!

YANBU. Quit. Quit, quit, quit!
You’re crazy even contemplating not!
It’s making you miserable, you don’t need nor want it, Husband supports your decision and you get extra precious time with your DD. It’s a no brainer.

My 1y.o. is in FT nursery, and I don't work.
I don't care what others think.

Sometimes I don't send him in, sometimes I send him in for 1/2 days. Depends how my own day is flowing.

Oh here we go. I don't sit around at home all day.

My day:
Up at 5am with the son. Breakfast, clothes change, coffee for DH. Take son to daycare. Exercise, do food shop, relax, cook, clean, do some admin for DH's business. Maybe catch up with a friend. Often other stuff like take car in for service, etc.

Pick up son at 2pm. Take him to the park or playground. Home at 3pm, cook dinner, play with the son.

5pm: dinner, family time, bath, bedtime.

6pm: husband and I relax and watch tv, have a drink etc.

My days are happy, full filled, stress free.

Yes, quit and get your health back.

You can retrain later on for something that isn't minimum wage.