To be upset about DCs school

[Kiahl]

I have 2 DC 5 and 8, we live in an area that probably wouldn’t be described as nice. I also have two DSC 6 and 10.
DSC go to school in a much nicer area, it’s highly oversubscribed, very popular, quite progressive in a lot of ways. They got in as their grandparents live around their and when they both started school they were living with their mum and grandparents. My DC started school before we all moved in together so didn’t get sibling priority. Even if they had it’s a few stops away on the train so wouldn’t be a viable journey everyday (their mum lives closer to the school so they only have to do the long journey 2 mornings a week).

To the issue, their school is so much better!! Not only are the academic results much better, their whole philosophy is great. Ironically my DCs school prides themself on academic excellence and while almost all children are at the standard level by the end of KS2, barely any are at higher level. Where as DSC school prides themself on “Growth mindset and resilient and ambitious learners” and has far superior results.
Beyond that, they seem to just do more? The school has lots of focus on the arts and sports. They are truly secular (such as Christmas and Diwali are celebrated with the same prominence). I also think the parents are from different backgrounds, the PTA gets lots of extra funding, parents run all sorts to celebrate special days (such as a professional choreographer ran a dance workshop for all the kids on International day of dance earlier in the year; she was a parent at the school who offered her time. For international mother language day lots of parents went in to teach the kids some key phrases in different languages (very diverse school). The school has lots of extra awards like rights respecting schools, eco schools, music mark, arts awards etc. They have themed food days throughout the year relating to different cultures etc. They are all much hotter on behaviour management, there never seems to be much disruption and anytime there is it’s dealt with swiftly and consistently. When DSD had a little issue with a girl picking on her it was dealt with before we even spoke to the teacher about it (DSD told us on the way home from after school club, teacher pulled DH aside the next morning told him how they were handling it and it never happened again!)

My DCs school on the other hand, very little happens on top of the day to day learning. No extra awards, very little beyond the curriculum. Parents might go into read sometimes but certainly no special dance or language lessons. No external music teachers and no additional awards. Behaviour is terrible in some classes. Disruptive kids are meant to be sent out but it never happens and bullying is rife (not my kids but heard from others).
Interestingly my DCs school is ofsted outstanding and DSCs school is only good!!

Tonight I’m sat up thinking about whether I’m doing my kids a disservice not looking for another school? I feel like they are missing out on so much.
DHs thinks my kids school is on the better end of normal and his kids is a rare exception which is undoubtedly helped by a wealthier catchment area who can invest more into the school and who’s teachers don’t have to deal with as many children in terrible home situations.

AIBU to be upset? Is my DCs school normal or do I need to look for something more like DSCs school?
Also any teachers have any idea why the school which is clearly better would only be good while the worse school is outstanding?

Your dc’s school may be outstanding due to the intake. If the starting points of the intake on entry are below average and on leaving they are meeting expectations then the school is seen to have added value.

On the other hand, in a more affluent area the dc are likely to have above average starting points (more experiences, greater likelihood of being read to, less poverty etc) therefore the school may be doing well but adding less value so Ofsted rate the school lower.

Although I understand and share your frustrations about different areas having better schools, comparison is pointless if the school isn’t viable for you to get to. If you’re truly unhappy, I’d look around other local schools and see if there’s one you prefer. We moved our dc in primary after lots of deliberation, and it’s the best thing we ever did so don’t listen to the ‘never move a settled child’ brigade. However, if all the schools are much of the same it’s probably not worth the disruption.

The ofsted answer is either date of inspection or just the luck of the draw of inspectors! If you do decide to change school go and look round to get a feel - I would suggest the values/ growth mindset aspect is of more worth than a string of arts marks/ awards. The wider curriculum offer is often what brings the joy to a school and those experiences that children remember. If your children are happy, settled and doing well I wouldn’t move them - if any of those 3 aren’t true then it might be worth comparing other schools with places available?

Extra awards and special days might lead to a school which creates more special memories for children but won't make it a better school in terms of Ofsted criteria.

It's worth checking the date of the last inspection for each school but uf your dc's school has been awarded outstanding within the last few years then there are lots of impressive things going on that you probably aren't aware of.

Ofsted criteria are very rigorous (expectations have been raised every time they have been updated) and being awarded outstanding is very meaningful.

Schools have to consistently meet the criteria for good in all areas; the quality of teaching has to be exceptional; pupils' work has to be of a consistently high quality etc etc

If your dc's school has fewer children at greater depth than your dsc's school yet has a fairly recent Outstanding, then that absolutely is a reflection of the intake (not less capable but with fewer of the advantages which help others to succeed) rather than because of the quality of the teaching or leadership.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/school-inspection-handbook-eif/school-inspection-handbook-for-september-2023#ofsted-judgements

Your step child’s school could be doing better academically due to children being above average academically when they start (if it’s a more affluent area).

Are your DC happy at school? If they are I wouldn’t try to change their schools. Special days aren’t necessary (although nice) and it’s probably unlikely many schools do as much as your SC school. Your 8yo will have been there a few years now aswell so if they are happy I wouldn’t take them out.

Was the outstanding ofstead rating recent? If it is then I think it’s a good indicator of it being a good school as ofstead are strict.

If you weren’t awake of your step childrens school or they went to the same one as your DC would you still feel this way about the school?

It's hard isn't it. My kids school is rated "good" but many kids don't speak English when starting and it's quite a transient community with kids leaving or being asylum seekers and not staying.

This brings so many challenges and whilst the school are very good at dealing with them it does mean that the rest of the extra stuff doesn't happen.

Hmm the last inspection at my kids school was 2018? So is this out of date then?
DSCs was inspected just last year.

go look at other schools… put names on waiting lists

however be mindful of Value Added, in other words ignore the SATs results and look in detail at how well schools do with the children they have got.

Personally I’d value a nurturing and kind environment above all elements

I wouldn't be happy knowing bullying is rife whether my DC were involved or not. It's not good for them to see that and around it especially as it doesn't sound as if it's properly managed by the school.

Trust your gut and look for a better school for your DC.

I’d focus on secondary schools, make sure you’re living in a good catchment for a good school as that’s when it really matters. Sure it’s nice to have these extra things, but sounds like they’ve been inspected recently and only rated good. Have you read the report? You need to be realistic too, how far are these schools you would want them to go to. How will you get there? If your child’s school is outstanding why is that? I wouldn’t move my children from an outstanding Ofsted unless you’re trying to move them into the step children's school which you know you like

I agree the OP should focus on secondary schools, but "only rated good* makes it sounds like the DSC school isn't doing enough, when actually good is pretty hard to achieve these days. OPs DCs school was rated in 2018 so it's been a while and I wonder if things are slipping as they're still coasting along on the outstanding ofsted rating.

OP it's difficult when you can see the huge difference between the 2 schools, especially as it sounds like the DSC have so many more opportunities, but the school isn't a viable option for your DC. Is there any way you can help to implement some of the things you like about DSC school into your DCs school? For example joining the PTA and organising events?

.... because ofsted gradings are more or less random...

Lots of more recent inspections have been downgraded 1 level, so it could be that your dsc school previous ofsteds were outstanding and are now good. Your dc school may find the same at their next ofsted.
dsc School does seem to be very proactive in positive pastoral experiences and personally I hold that much higher than what ofsted says (whole child rather than just academic ability).

(Ex primary teacher, DH head of primary school)

That’s life OP and comparison is the thief of joy.

I will feel the same when our children get to school age. SC’s classes have no children with English as a second language, no refugees, no LAC and much lower than average numbers of children who qualify for free school meals or who have SEN. We live in a more urban area where the opposite is true. Ultimately these things do have an impact. SC do miss out on having a diverse group of friends and different perspectives, but will probably have a higher standard of teaching and attention.

Nothing in anything you posted indicates that SC will have a higher standard of teaching and attention?