My boyfriend love hearted a female colleagues picture and I feel upset- AIBU

[Goldbracelet24]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2-3 months now. I’ve had issues with him looking at other women in the past, calling them hot, which has set the scene for all of this.
Firstly my boyfriend has mentioned that before getting with me one of his female colleagues came to his apartment.
Not long ago, I also noticed that he was following mainly women on Instagram. I noticed on Facebook he reacted the love heart emoji to revealing pictures of women.
We had a conversation about this, and he suggested he does not like as many females pictures in future and I agreed. This was a few weeks ago, and our conversation put my anxiety to rest.
I have just been on Facebook and I have noticed that he has reacted with a love heart to a female colleagues picture on a night out in a nice dress. I think it was the same colleague who came to his apartment.
When I saw it I felt quite gutted. I don't want to sound immature but it has really played on my insecurities and I wouldn't have minded a like but felt the love heart took it too far.
Is this a red flag or am I just being silly?

OP, this man is going to destroy your self esteem if you stay with him.

Listen to your gut - it's warning you not to trust him for a reason.

My boyfriend before my current partner was very similar to this. He used to tell me how attractive other women were, how he had fantasies about my friends, would blatantly check out other women when we were out. It's a blatant lack of respect.

It took me a while to get my confidence back afterwards.

At least this one is showing you his true colours early.

There are so many people out there who would treat you better than this.

Blimey. A matter of weeks into a new relationship and you have all these doubts and reservations. Cut your losses and move on.

Oh just get rid no point even wasting your time.

This is some juvenile shit. After a couple of months as well. Imagine if you had real problems.

Heaven forbid a friend came to his apartment!

End it, for his sake not yours.

Totally agree with this.

You've even told him you find it uncomfortable and hes basically ignoring that.
Even if he thinks its harmless and you are being unreasonable, the fact he has ignored how you feel and done it anyway is the actual problem.
He would rather flatter a colleague than consider your feelings.

Leave him to it.

Wow what a drama.

You're dating. He's allowed to "heart" other people's photos. You don't own him.

You deserve someone who makes you feel amazing and special

Not unsettled and insecure

I mean clearly this man doesn’t make you feel secure in your relationship and there is already no trust so you should 100% end it, but yes you are being silly.

I have no qualms acknowledging when others are pretty or attractive, be it a man or a woman in the same way I am under no illusion that the people I date still have eyes and will also by default keep seeing people out and about that they find objectively attractive/might be their type.

(finding someone attractive doesn’t mean we would go there or are sexually interested in them).

Similarly I tend to like the content of my friends, some of which like to expose more of their bodies than others because I like to support them. It’s nothing to do with me being sexually attracted to their body, and even if it was tbh. Plenty of people can be attracted to someone and not act on it but it’s all about trust. I trust the people I am with to respect the boundaries we set for each other and they provide me with similar trust. I have absolutely NO clue what they like on socialize media and I would be 100% put off if my partner came to me with a little registry of what I have been liking on social media and questioning my motives and acting like a social media like is akin to cheating or showing sexual interest in someone as that level of jealous and insecurity absolutely isn’t normal nor healthy.

If this kind of thing is already causing issues when you're only a couple of months into a relationship, it's not going to get better. You're not compatible and you won't make each other happy. You will always feel insecure and anxious and unable to trust him, and he will resent having his social media activity monitored all the time.

You've only being seeing each other for five minutes. End it now before it gets more difficult.

Hi everyone. I do understand that my looking at his social media is not the healthiest. I have had ex's in the past on social media that follow many women but the ex that I am thinking of did not bring other women up commonly, and I barely looked at his social media as he made me feel secure. I think this is my issue- if this love heart reaction was done in isolation I would not mind as much, it's just what he has previously said about other women that had planted this seed in my head. He has had many of both serious and casual partners

If my 'boyfriend' talked about how he found other women hot, he'd be an ex, very disrespectful IMO. What are his intentions in telling you do you think?

Just how did hear it's your fault for looking at his social media? Pretty sure every post is telling you to get some values, standards and boundaries and don't be treated like a doormat. Your new partner is treating you with contempt. Your new partner is not delighted and excited by you. You are accepting very low standards in a partner. WHY? Trust me, when you get old, what you value most is the character, values, kindness and happiness with someone. If either party doesn't respect and value each other, you're doomed, like 95% of relationships.

You do not have to put up with this, he doesn't respect you. He probably isn't over his past, you deserve better than that

I work with young people. I could say “please put your rubbish in the bin” and I would immediately get 3 👍 and 11 ❤️. It means nothing.

You are being silly. I posted a nice picture of myself a couple of weeks ago and had plenty of likes or loves from men who I know are very happily married or settled in relationships and who adore their partners.

it means nothing except they thought it was a good picture.

If a new man started moaning at me about the pictures I reacted to on social media after three months I’d be running for the hills to get away from that sort of controlling behaviour.

What about the leering at other women, when they're out together?

HeddaGarbled · Today 00:15
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2-3 months is very early days. You could almost call it dating rather than boyfriend/girlfriend territory. I suspect you’re keener to call it a relationship and he’s still keeping his options open.”

Disagree. 3 months is plenty long enough to know if you have more than casual feelings for a gf/bf.

Get rid, OP.

Poor sod, let him go.

🚩

12 weeks at most this has been going on 😅just end it OP

I think you are one of the many 'casuals'.

Seriously, ditch him, way too much drama and angst.

Love-reacting to friends' posts on Facebook is not a big deal; I think you're overreacting. (Though the introduction of the love-react hasn't helped as it can definitely be ambiguous.) Given how you describe his earlier conversation It's plausible he didn't see what he was doing as against your agreement.

Poor bloke. Put him out of his misery before you get properly obsessive.

He sounds like a teenager but to be perfectly honest so do you

I do think you will find something to be needy about regardless of how they are or what they do

But olin this case sounds immature also