I’ll likely be divorced by Xmas this year, been separated 3 years. I have bought the family home and Ex DH lives not far away.
Im having our only DS and his girlfriend ( they don’t live at home) for Xmas dinner, they were going to her family but thats not happening now.
I’m not a fan of Xmas, DH always made it all about him and insisted on going the pub on Xmas day like most other days so I was always rushing round trying to do everything and dragging him out of the pub. Last year i made the effort and hosted Xmas day despite us not being together.
He was absolutely hideous, didn’t contribute a thing , no presents even for DS, and then was shitty because I had had a Baileys and couldn’t drive him to the pub. It was a horrible day and it culminated in a massive row and me in tears.
So this year, i know he is unlikely to make plans, I feel bad because 1) I wouldn’t see a dog alone on Xmas day and 2) DS says he would feel bad if his dad was round the corner on his own.
ExDH also has form for being a martyr / suffers with depression/ is a borderline/ functioning alcoholic , all of which contributed to our marriage breaking down.
I cannot face the thought of another shitty Xmas, I’ve not had a great couple
of years myself and I am just so torn between putting a brave face on for DS and salving my own conscience by having Ex DH or saying he has to sort himself out .
I had originally planned to be abroad but it fell through and then I felt bad that DS had no plans.
AIBU to say I don’t want him here Xmas Day ?