To put the potty away?

[Howaboutstrawberries]

DS is 3 in a couple of weeks, have tried to potty train but not got very far. The potty is out to try to encourage him to use it, but he keeps messing about with it, putting his feet in it and kicking it round.

It’s clean but I don’t want him to be in the habit of using it like that for obvious reasons. AIBU to just forget about it completely for now? Or should I keep it out?

Maybe keep it in the bathroom.

What have been doing by way of training? At almost 3 though I’d probably chuck the potty altogether and get him to go straight to the loo with a step and insert seat, which would also help stop the silly behaviour with the potty.

We had similar with my son - put it out ‘to get him used to it’ but he started to see it as a toy, so I think you’re not being unreasonable to put it away. We did for 2 weeks building up to a weekend when we cleared the diary, took the nappies off and made it our sole focus. It only took 2-3 days for him to start to get it and I won’t say there wasn’t the odd accident but we got there much more quickly than expected. I got “oh crap” book out of the library and pretty much followed that.

We had a similar situation except DS was a bit younger and used to hide the potty in another room as well as refuse to use it. I just kept bringing it out regularly and one day he just started to accept it. Like a pp said we also had a toilet seat and step at the same time too. He was about 3.4 when he eventually took to it, which seemed a bit late to me but apparently not.

My son did the same with the potty so we got rid of it and carried on carried on training without the potty. It was much more successful. A toilet seat and a step stool makes much more sense because it’s in the right place, it’s cleaner and it allows the child to learn by copying a parent. The potty didn’t even come out with dc2 and looking back I wonder what on earth I was thinking trying to train a toddler to use the toilet in the bathroom by using a potty in front of the telly.

We kept the potty in the bathroom so DS would get used to leaving the room/stop what he's doing to go to the toilet. If your potty is in the living room/kitchen etc surrounded by toys do you think DS is looking at it as a toy instead?

Has your DS shown any signs of readiness for toilet training, or have you started because you feel it's time? If he's not shown any readiness, put the potty away and work on that bit first. Lots of tak about toilets, there's some great books they can read, most toddler TV shows have a toilet training episode too. Get the idea in his head a bit first before trying to persuade him to do it!

Thanks. How do you get them to sit on the toilet for the length of time they’d need to wee/poo?

Pump them full of fluids eg squash, juice, ice lollies (even if they’re not normal allowed them, this is worth an exception) and then get them to sit every 20-30 minutes by any means necessary- try books, fidget toys and if you have to watching something or playing a game on your phone. Eventually you’ll get something and when you do give them a small sweet like a smartie or chocolate button so they’re incentivised to do it again.

It hasn’t worked so far. Really losing confidence. Don’t know whether to just leave it until he decides for himself. It’s hard to know!

By trying all sorts of tricks. Bribery might work for a bit, then change tack if it stops working.

So I get him to "try for a wee wee" on the potty and if he says no I might say, ok you just have to count up to ten or five or whatever on the potty and then if there's no wee coming out you can get up. If he really does need a wee it will come out in those ten seconds.

Or I leave him without anything on all day and then he doesn't have the comfort of a nappy so does go for the potty. That works better in summer though, it's a bit cold now.

We practise pulling knickers/pull ups up and down and seeing how fast he can race to the toilet and trying to beat his time.

Or if he's asking for some milk I'll say you can have some milk if you try on the potty.

Has your ds been able to see his daddy have a wee/have daddy teach him to stand, he might prefer to wee standing up?

He also likes looking at picture books on the potty. I do sometimes bring the potty out of the toilet if he absolutely won't leave a game.

If he's looking sneaky and shifty and I say, do you need a poo poo, and he then says "stop it" or "go away" I physically pick him up and put him on the potty, saying, "come on, on the potty, I'll help you!"

We have a step and seat thing on the upstairs toilet and a little £5 step stool from lidl in the downstairs one, he doesn't seem bothered about using the seat reducer we have (pottette) but he does like to have his feet on a stool rather than dangling.

I don't know about you but some potties don't seem big enough. Ds is not yet 3 and both he and his brother are slight yet their willies seemed to not go neatly into the potty - well the pottette one. I got a big moulded thing from France later on and that seems a bit more comfy for him.

A bit controversial is offering a chocolate coin for a successful poo or wee, which we do when I have them, and it was really helpful, and it doesn't have to be chocolate, ds really likes cashews and almonds so that works as an incentive too. (I supervise him eating them)

You really want to keep it positive, and kids learn by playing. So just roll with it, relax, be patient. It's good he thinks it's fun!

You don’t have to make him sit on the toilet for no reason just to wait and see if it happens, although if he’s doing a poo you could take in a book to read.

Taking them regularly while wearing pants teaches then that they have to go regularly and do all the pulling down clothes, flushing washing hands and all of that even if nothing ends up in the toilet.

If he has control, he will be able to go when he needs to as long as he is given lots of opportunity.