Dad is in his 70’s and struggles with his health every winter and usually ends up in hospital. I’m his only family (that speaks to him) so it’s always on me to support. I’ve been doing this for years and have never complained but it’s been wearing away at me recently.
Some context… Dad was physically abusive during my childhood. I left at 16 and didn’t speak to him for 5 years. We’ve had a relationship since but not very close.
I have a DD who’s 5 months old and I’m currently on mat leave. He’s been unwell recently and I’ve been taking him to and from appointments, getting shopping etc. He rarely says thank you and seems to think as I’m on mat leave I have endless time on my hands. He’s making more and more requests that aren’t about his health and he’s critical when I take too long or get something wrong. He was similar when I was pregnant, even though I was quite unwell myself at times. He never asked how I was feeling. He often won’t bother checking in with me when he’s feeling ok and forgets my birthday every year.
Its getting me down as I feel as though I’m just dragging my baby around doing things for him and we miss out on time together.
I wouldn’t stop helping completely but would I BU to set more boundaries about running around doing other errands? I’m feeling like a bad person for feeling resentful but it is affecting me.