Dreaming of ex boyfriend but in a relationship

[Sortfejaj]

Hi,

I'm 28 and been with my current boyfriend 4 years. I was last with my ex boyfriend 5 years ago and I was with him since I was 19 (first boyfriend).

I had an intense dream about him last night and it felt so real. It was me telling him how much I miss him and I want him back. And little details were in the dream like parking my car for me (he'd do that as I hated parking on his street).

The thing is, I haven't seen him in years and we broke up because he moved abroad. He didn't want to break up but I was the one that said it as I was too hurt he was leaving me. He came back a few months later but I was done with the relationship by then. He has messaged me every so often throughout the years but he's now blocked on everything.

But if I was the one that ended the relationship, why has this dream knocked me back a few? I've woken up with an urge to see him but I love my boyfriend so much and I feel bad that I'm feeling this way.
I know itll pass but I almost feel a love-sick kind of feeling.

I still frequently have dreams involving my ex husband and his wife (she wasn't on the scene when we split) we've been divorced 32 years and I initiated it- and have been remarried 27 years

I used to find it alarming but am used to it now

This is totally normal and you don't need to worry about it, honestly. You feel 'lovesick' because you're remembering how you felt when you were in love with him, not because you're still in love with him now. He was your first proper boyfriend and the whole 'first love' experience is one that tends to stay with us, long after the love itself has long dwindled away.

I sometimes dream positively about one of my exes - I haven't seen him for 20 years and, like in your case, I ended it. It was a terrible, on-off relationship and he was an awful, narcissistic manipulator and a liar. But of course, when we were together I was young, and of course I still remember the excitement I used to feel when I was with him and the things he did that I loved, and I occasionally dream about him in a positive light, even though I now frankly loathe him and would absolutely not want to have any kind of conversation with him ever again!

I also sometimes dream about another ex, one who was actually a violent abuser. Usually it's a full-on nightmare in which I'm trying to escape from him when he's trying to kill me or hurt my family. But occasionally I dream that I'm leaving my current partner to be with my ex - even in the dream I know that it's absolutely the wrong thing to do and that I'm leaving the man I absolutely adore for the man I utterly despise, and the whole time I'm absolutely devastated at having to leave my lovely, lovely partner for this vile man, but I still feel compelled to go ahead with it. It's such an awful dream and it unsettles me for the whole day.