To wonder if nurseries and childminders judge parents who send their children when they don’t work?

[Anotherdayishereagain]

Just wondering if they do. I know they would be too professional to show it to the parents face hope so anyway!

@Lollyloup81 same!! I have then both for 2 days and it’s exhausting. I’m surprised people think the staff don’t know, especially at a childminders

@VIPNanny One of the main complaints I heard from childminders growing up was that they were being sent kids even when parents didn’t need to

The first part is an incredibly odd stance.
Why be a childminder if you're going to moan about the reason someone pays for your service? Seems entirely counterintuitive to their business.

This, they don't care why would they care?

I was a Nursery Nurse .A few parents didnt work , No judgement at all .DC sent to play ,make friends ,early years and so on . I think the days of DC at home with Mum F/T are behind us now!

Why would anybody work in childcare and think this ?

I did once... not from the actual staff, but from the head teacher (nursery attached to the school but could buy extra sessions).

The comment was "its not like you have real job".
I was doing voluntary work in the school at the time! (As well as elsewhere... the two extra sessions I bought made it possible).

I've been a Childminder for 24 years. Doesn't bother me at all whst they're doing as long as I can get in touch with them in an emergency!
We all need a break from our kids- wish I could have afforded to send my own kids to a minder or nursery when they were younger, just for a bit of respite!

I mean sending in ill children Is not on .

Who cares?

I’m a disabled single parent who doesn’t (can’t) work. My son is very active and benefits better being at nursery than being at home everyday. And it also entitles me to a break as I have chronic pain and being a parent with pain is hard. Not every circumstance is black and white. And EVERY child should have equal opportunities to be able to access a nursery for both care and development.

@VIPNanny surely a child minder wouldn’t have as much business if children were only sent when the parents were actually at work tho? That doesn’t make sense to me. It’s like complaining they are giving you business?

I did judge some of the parents when I was 19 and worked in a nursery. There was one mum who would frequently tell us she would be late picking her 13 months old child up because she wanted to have a child free shopping trip.

Now I'm a mum I wouldn't judge though. I found that when I had my 2nd it was difficult to do a lot of things I wanted to because I had dc1 as well. The baby/toddler activities at the children's centre were split into age groups mostly and there were only 2 groups a week where my baby and toddler were both welcome. I struggled more with breastfeeding my subsequent babies than I did with my first but toddlers weren't allowed at breastfeeding group so I couldn't go. I needed to go for monitoring at the hospital twice a week near the end of my pregnancy but no toddlers allowed. Dc2's physio kept telling me she would rather dc1 wasn't there during appointments, even though the appointments were at our house. And on the postnatal ward there was an expectation that partners would be there all day but children were only allowed in for a couple of hours in the evening. Babies had to stay in their cots next to the bed at all times and must not be left unsupervised. I was in for 8 days and the staff kept telling me that it was the visitors job to look after the baby when I went to the loo, to have a shower or to sterilize bottles. My dh was looking after our other dc so apart from when I was in Labour then I had less than an hour of visitors for the 8 days I was in.

Anyway, I felt that I was in the minority for not having my toddlers in full time nursery from when they were babies.

No. Why would they? It's money

I'm a SAHM and I sent my child to nursery at the age of 3 for his own benefit, to learn and play and be with other children which I expect the staff understood. Kept sending him in even through covid because his dad was a 'key worker' so he could still go even though I was at home. Don't care if anyone judges as I thought it was the best decision for my child.

@Lollyloup81 don’t worry what others think!
mom on Mat leave to and my just turned 4 year old goes 4 days a week!
he’s very full on and needs the stimulation!

As an ex childminder I definitely didn't care if parents sent to me when they didn't need to as they were paying me but I absolutely used to get irritated with the amount of poorly kids I was sent, as working in my home they would usually make me sick or my kids sick and then I would have to close with no pay.

For the same reason some people who hate customer service work in retail.

Not everyone is suited for the job they do and some like to moan about their job. Sometimes they were justified in moaning tbf other times not so much. But do some childcare workers judge what parents do? Absolutely. Should it lead to changes in how parents do their thing? In most cases, no.

I do know nursery staff who judge this, yes.

But they also judge parents (lets face it, mostly mothers) who put their babies in nursery all day everyday, even though they clearly do it so they can go to work.

"Poor babies/little ones being left here all day"

DH and I were both teaching when ours were small. We used to send them in in the holidays on the 2.5 days of my usual working week so we could get on with chores like decorating/clearing out the loft/trips to IKEA etc. Not always, but often. And we'd take them in late after a family breakfast and pick them up at 4 ish.
Worked for us. And kids now adults and perfectly well-adjusted.

I used to work in Childcare settings and I don't think I ever wondered why the kids were there.

I always kept my older children in nursery when I was on mat leave. I found it very hard to balance the competing interests and it made me snappy and stressed. If I hadn't gone back to work I think it's healthy to have a break from your child even if it's just for a few hours.

Also I needed to keep the place when I went back to work!

I didn't have any help apart from paid help so if I had family around I imagine it would be different.

My friend tried to keep her toddler and newborn at home and almost gave herself a nervous breakdown. The toddler was super jealous of the baby and couldn't be left alone with them for a minute. Luckily grandparents stepped in.

Even without the jealously I would imagine it's exhausting having 2 little ones at home all the time.

You’re not lazy. You’re human. Happy boy enjoying time with peers and learning new things before coming home to a less drained and happy mum. A happy baby enjoying some bonding time with mum. Prioritising your mental health to ensure a calm household.

Sound like a good mum to me! X

You’re not lazy. You’re human. Happy boy enjoying time with peers and learning new things before coming home to a less drained and happy mum. A happy baby enjoying some bonding time with mum. Prioritising your mental health to ensure a calm household.

Sound like a good mum to me! X

No different for a non working parent sending their child to school.

You don't use nursery just for childcare whilst working, there are a million other reasons, what about the child for example, it's nice to mix and get to know other children.

Personally I think people judge you consciously no matter what, whether you work or you don't!

I think they are aware that there are all sorts of reasons why people prefer to use childcare even if they don’t work.

I’m for all intents and purposes a SAHM. I have a small paid role in our family business- but it’s very ad hoc and varies in workload.

I use about 12 hours of paid childcare a week (a part time nanny). I use this time for admin related to our family business, a course that I’m doing and also to do some bigger deep clean jobs which are hard to do with a toddler in the way.

I could do these things during nap time and on an evening- but if nap time is wonky that day, I’m fucked. Also, I’d rather pay for her to have 1:1 time with a professional than putting her in a playpen in front of Cocomelon whilst I try and ‘get things done’. I also quite like to relax when the day is done rather than running myself into the ground.

Being a SAHM doesn’t mean you need to be a complete martyr to please those who are cross about you being economically inactive for a few years 😂