To be upset

[Newmumfeb22]

It probably seems a bit trivial to an outsider but our friends set a date to get married and the h2b told my DP the date a week or so beforehand. We were with them and they said they had news and told us - my DP said he already knew but didn’t know if he was allowed to say. We share everything normally and if it is said not sure if it’s common news not to say anything then I am a woman of my word and will keep things confidential. I said that to him and he said “I know what you’re like” referring to a few times in the past when I have “ruined” surprises such as a talking to our niece about a day out she was going on or a birthday gift we had been asked to buy that she apparently didn’t know about but I genuinely didn’t know it was to be kept a secret.

I’m quite a straightforward person - secrets aren’t really my thing but if someone has confided in me about a serious subject or a suprise party etc etc I will generally sense it is not to be said

I felt a bit upset when he said that as if I am untrustworthy - AIBU?

I was going to say YANBU until I carried on reading that you've previously ruined secrets. YABVU.

He didn’t know if he could say something, so he didn’t. He didn’t say you were untrustworthy, he made reference to some incidents where there had been a misunderstanding, and given that he wasn’t sure about the news decided not to say anything. You’re overthinking this. YABU.

God, I know loads of things my DH doesn't know and vice versa. I love my DH but if someone tells me something in confidence, I'm not going to tell him.

YANBU. There is a world of difference between blabbing other peoples business because you're an arsehole and accidentally relaying information that you were never told under the guise of it being confidential information.

OP's DP wasn't sworn to secrecy though from what it sounds. He just took it upon himself.

@GrumpyPanda He said he didn't know if he was allowed to say anything. I'd always err on the side of caution or ask specifically.