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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For those with AUS/NZ or other foreign family

5 replies

SailorStow · 30/10/2023 18:15

This may seem pre-emptive but we are a family of planners!!
DHs sister and step-sister live in Australia. For as long as DH and I have been together we have gone down every other year to visit them, usually from just before New Year (but after Christmas) to about the middle of Jan.
His sister who is child free tends to come back to the UK about every 18 months, his stepsister (who has kids and who’s wife is a teacher) comes back maybe every 3-4 years. We host Christmas every year, when they are here for Christmas we host them.

We have a 2 year old DD, she will start school Sept 2025. It’s got us thinking - how will we see them without her missing a fair bit of school (2 weeks every other year).
Going in our summer would be impractical, as like I said teacher in the family so we’d rarely see her or their kids. Also the weather just won’t be as nice, probably be better in the UK in all honesty. We couldn’t even time it over their “winter holidays” as they tend to be either weeks 1 and 2 of July or 2 and 3, so UK schools aren’t finished yet.
We love his family so much and I’d hate to see too much less of them. It’s the highlight of our year seeing them!! We also love our new year in Sydney before travelling up to see them, it’s a memory I really want our DD to have.

If you have family in AUS or NZ how do you navigate seeing them? Do your kids just miss schools sometimes?

AIBU to think DD will just miss 2 weeks every other year (maybe once we get to Y10/11 we’d reconsider) and we will suck up the fines as family time and making memories is more important?
Or should we find some other way to work it?

OP posts:
margotrose · 30/10/2023 18:17

We used to go over at Christmas on alternate years and I'd miss a few days of school at the end of the Christmas term to facilitate the flights.

Later on, I went to a school with a two week October half-term and I would just see my cousins at weekends or in the evenings.

Bankholidayboredom23 · 30/10/2023 18:21

Easter is a great time to go weather wise, warm but not too hot. We usually have one week cross over with aus school holidays. I'm Australian and my kids have only ever missed 2 days of school (due to flight times being changed) so it's definitely doable without taking them out. Is there a reason you have to host Christmas? Can you go during Christmas holidays sometimes?

Riverlee · 30/10/2023 18:23

FaceTime /zoom etc

AlwaysSoManyQuestions · 30/10/2023 18:23

We go at Easter, overlap holidays by a week (as per pp), and Miss a couple of days at end of spring term (as think better to Miss end of term than beginning). It’s a really long way to go for two weeks, but hey ho.

SailorStow · 30/10/2023 18:28

Bankholidayboredom23 · 30/10/2023 18:21

Easter is a great time to go weather wise, warm but not too hot. We usually have one week cross over with aus school holidays. I'm Australian and my kids have only ever missed 2 days of school (due to flight times being changed) so it's definitely doable without taking them out. Is there a reason you have to host Christmas? Can you go during Christmas holidays sometimes?

Hadn’t really considered Easter.

We have 4 sets of parents (thanks divorce) so we host Christmas so everyone gets to see everyone they want to see. If we stopped there would be endless fall out!! So going over Christmas isn’t really viable. DH also tends to work right up to Christmas Eve.

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