Bil golf and kids

[Graasspp]

I have 2 dc aged 14 and 12.

Bil is visiting from abroad without his wife, with his dc aged 8 and 3. With us for I think 2 days.

Dh and Bil have booked a round of golf on the Sunday morning. Just assuming I'll look after all the kids.

Aibu that ita a piss take? I'm annoyed because 3 yo is a full on little boy and needs quite a lot of supervision (although his dad would argue he doesn't)

I feel like going out, but I can't really take my 2 dcs as they want to see cousins. So it would be my 14 yo doing everything the 3 yo says while trying to keep him happy.

My 14 yo wouldn't mind, but I know he finds it tiring and he has crutches too which slow him down.

Also, if reversed I think my dh would be very happy to care for my brothers children if I went out with him.

Presumably these are your nephews/nieces? It wouldn't bother me as a one off.

I would be furious about not being asked first. But would happily facilitate this for a few hours if requested nicely.

It's only one morning? Not really a big deal. Your own kids are 14 and 12 and really don't need 'looking after' and I doubt the 8-year-old needs huge amounts of supervision either. Pretty sure you, a 14-year-old and a 12-year-old can entertain a three-year-old for a morning.

I'd be cross at the assumption rather than being asked but I'd definitely look after nephew for that short space of time.

Ask DH & BIL what childcare they've put in place as you're also out that day and see what they say.

The assumption that I'd care for 4 kids solo (especially when the two that aren't mine need proper parenting, rather than the two teens) would piss me right off.

If your husband would be happy to reciprocate as you say then work out what you fancy doing and with whom and when and let him have an evening with the kids.

They can look after all 4 whilst you go out the next day. Only fair.

I’d raise it otherwise you might find they will be back late after a pub lunch then making plans for the evening, as bil has a built in babysitter for this trip! Tell him since you are a nice person you will do the 3 hours even though he didn’t ask, but if it’s any more you will disappear for the rest of their trip and he will be the only default parent and babysitter around for his own and his brothers children.

It’s rude that they didn’t check with you first but not sure I could begrudge my partner having a morning with his brother, without the distraction of kids to look after, when he’s visiting abroad for 2 days.

Pretty much what I was going to say.

It's rude they didn't ask - but your DH was probably excited to get to spend some time with his brother (guessing since it's a trip from abroad it's not something that happens a lot!).

Can you just book yourself something for the weekend after so DH can have your DC and get a bit of solo time to make up for it?

I really would not be bothered by this. When my sister is over from abroad my DH goes out of his way to facilitate us having time together as an absolute given.