To be concerned about my future?

28 replies

FreeSki · 30/10/2023 16:18

We are a military family. DH has about 6 years left to complete his full service. Our eldest child will be going to secondary school in 1.5 years.

We are not homeowners and we DH’s job means moving regularly. I’m worried about the impact this would have on secondary education.

My earnings are really low, but I’m completing qualifications to help to boost that, but that might take a few years to come to fruition. Our children will struggle massively with us basing ourselves somewhere and DH working away. Especially our eldest, who is somewhat traumatised by long spells she spent separated from her dad in her younger years.

We have £30k in savings, to put towards a house. A portion of that is money we saved, and some is inheritance. The most likely place my husband could be employed next is the south of England. House prices there are completely unaffordable for us.

im getting very worried about providing my children with a good education, a happy childhood and not causing them any suffering like being separated from their dad more often than just deployments.

If my husband completes his full service, it gives him a really good pension. He also loves his job, but his main priority is the kids. We’re just at a crossroads and don’t know what to do next. Anyone have a crystal ball and can tell me what to do for the best?

OP posts:

ElleCapitaine · 31/10/2023 08:40

How many children do you have? Would it be worth buying a small flat using the £30k as a deposit on a long mortgage (e.g. 30-40 years) and living in it for a few years until you complete your training and can afford something more spacious?

Notamum12345577 · 31/10/2023 08:40

Bedazzling · 31/10/2023 08:30

Do you move with him each time because you get military housing and is it cheaper than local rents?

I assume they move with him because they want to live together as a family?

Sundaefraise · 31/10/2023 08:43

SisterMichaelsHabit · 30/10/2023 17:58

The curriculum is the same throughout the country so they should not miss anything by moving schools.
Not true. Try moving schools in February of year 11 and being expected to do a whole new set of GCSEs with totally different exam boards because the school didn't offer the right subjects/exam boards it was the only school you could get when applying outside normal intake dates.
Even in other year groups it's a problem because schools don't teach the same things in the same order and there's wiggle room within the topics.
As a teacher children who move around have all sorts of problems.
Also "it's just making new friends" is a stupid attitude. Your friends are your stability and your trusted human connections. You need them. So do kids.
OP the advice about buying elsewhere is a good idea. Also there are shared ownership schemes that prioritise serving forces members in the SE and also financial incentives on some newbuild estates for forces.

I also work in secondary and agree with this. Having a stable secondary school life for my dc, who are now teenagers is a priority. I appreciate it is really difficult with dh’s job, but this is what i would be working to figure out, more than house buying or whether he does the final 6 years - how to put down roots so she could have as little upheaval at this time as possible.

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