To take my daughter our of nursery due to constant illness?

[IsThisNightmareGoingToEnd]

I'm sure this topic isn't new on here, but I'm at my wits end, so please help.
Since my daughter started nursery in January this year, we've had a year of, well, just hell really. January until May we were so, so ill all of us, daughter ended up staying in hospital for a few days and the rest of the time we were barely able to look after her. After that we got 3 months in the summer of just pure bliss. Then sure as hell 1st of September came along and we've been really ill ever since, and have already had another hospital stay with her. I'm not coping at all. I'm just constantly so ill I can't function. A few days ago I had literally just recovered from 3 weeks of RSV bronchitis, had 2 days totally symptom free and I thought 'yay finally!!'. And then suddenly I get another high fever, tonsils burning, wheezing and my chest feels so heavy it's got to be another chest infection of sorts. I look and feel like death and I'm dreading her returning to nursery this coming week. What's coming next? We don't have family who can help out and it's just desperate. What the hell do I do? I'm seriously considering taking her out of nursery and being antisocial until at least next spring or maybe until she starts school!

Nursery is a good place to pick up sicknesses but some kids are also just like this. My first used to get sick quite a bit in spite of my not sending her to nursery. If they are in the community socialising normally with you, they will get things. You could give it a go, just be aware it might not be the end of it. They're building their immune systems.

Are you working hard to ensure you have the best chance at optimum health and a good immune system before you deprive your daughter of social contact and skills? She's going to keep picking stuff up!

I'm a very restricted eater and strict vegan so need to supplements but I rotate the vitamins and minerals I take to different days but swear on taking lots of Vit D (the type suspended in oil with Vit K) as well as Iron supplement, B vitamins, Magnesium, Zinc.

Since I've been strict with my supplements and also sugary foods and no junk food and long since quit smoking or drinking alcohol, I noticed I rarely if ever get colds. Not saying it would work for everyone but it might help before you have to take drastic action.

My children picked everything up at nursery but quickly built up good immune systems and by the time they got to nursery, were around children all the time who were unwell and didn't pick anything up so I'd persevere if you can. They need to build their immunity at some point so if you take them out of nursery, it will just prolong the issue, in my opinion.

You'll just be moving the problem, she either gets it all now or in reception. We had the constant illness when DD started nursery, by the time she started Reception she was pretty much the only kid who wasn't off few weeks with something or other.

Sorry by the time they got to school I meant to say.

Hate to say it but if you pulled her out then you'd probably just be prolonging the inenvitable and the same would potentkally happen when she started school.

The good thing about the constant illnesses as PP have said is that it builds immunity. DD was the same when she started at preschool and was sick regularly (and we all were too) but since she started school (now in year 2) she hardly gets sick at all.

In the meantime I would say tons of vitamins and tonics etc to build up your own defences too...

It will get better. We had a couple of truly horrendous years, to the point it was affecting my career as I was sick so often, not to mention off looking after DC.

This year we've had next to nothing so far, it's remarkable how much better it is. Eldest is at school now and there is stuff going round the class and she's not picking a lot of it up - she's done her time!

The thing is unless you are willing to isolate indefinitely, it will catch up with you eventually. The year of covid lockdowns was bliss from a general health perspective for us, but the year following was twice as bad in terms of both frequency and severity of random viruses. This year is looking better so far (knocks on wood), as although they have picked up minor colds, it hasn’t been anything too severe.

focus on building health and immunity : get good sleep, exercise where you can and supplement / focus on an immune boosting diet. Pay extra attention to hygiene / hand washing and make sure you get your flu/covid vax.

Her illnesses sounds quite normal for her age and circumstances but yours sound extreme. How is your immune system? Have you had blood tests to check that you’re not deficient in anything that might leave you more vulnerable?
Do you have an OH? How are they doing?
Make sure you go back to basics with hand washing, washing door handles, light switches etc to keep home as hygienic as possible.

Really sorry you e had such a miserable time. But, broadly, I'm afraid this is totally normal. It's how they build their immune systems. As PP said, if it doesn't happen now, it will happen when she starts reception. It's also how you build your immune system, too, BTW - my colleagues can't believe I'm (touch wood) never sick and I tell them that's because I had EVERYTHING in the first two winters DC was at nursery and now my immune system is iron clad.

But the hospitalisation does seem a bit beyond the usual in terms of just how sick she is getting. Have you been able to have a proper discussion with a paediatric consultant? Maybe she is a candidate for having her tonsils removed if that's a vulnerable spot for her?

Well I'm certainly hoping my immune system will be iron clad too after this winter!!

Daughter was born with a chest infection and has viral induced wheeze, basically every time she gets a cold she can't breathe and ends up on hospital with steroids, nebulisers and all the usual asthma drugs. They said she's probably grow out of it as she gets older, but that she'll most likely be in and out of hospital all the time until then...

Awww I'm sorry to hear this and it must be very distressing.