Maintenance

[Husbandwoes]

Hi all,

First time poster under wife's recommendation for advice really. I am father of 4, eldest with exW and last two with current W.

Just a query in relation to a court ordered maintenance. I am an eastern European just as it may be relevantly as this involves said law. My eldest son is out of education with a few months he is 20 and although I was never informed and "overpaid" maintenance I'd still be paying it only for I stopped for a month to test the waters and it was admitted by my exW he was out of education for almost a year prior... he was 18 then and now 20.

Going to today my daughter is now 18 and I have decided to test the same and not send money and ask for proof of education, and told no I am not going to get this and she is in school. To also be told that my son cannot provide for himself and I am suppose to send maintenance for 20 year old too. So now expect money for both kids even she won't send proof for younger daughter.

Just looking for help really. I do not mind send money if they need help, but we struggling to put food for table In here too. If kids cannot find work I am suppose pay forever and maybe they will be 50 and I am pension age?! I am in Ireland if that's make difference for situation.

If your dd has just turned 18 she's presumably in the middle of an academic year of school or college so I'd keep going there until next summer at least. In the end, if your ex is supporting them out of necessity...if there are good reasons they can't yet be independent, then it's a bit of a dick move to just stop. They're your kids too and it's not their fault you went on to have two more.

Maintenance stops in their 18th year on completion of year 13

Thank you for responding.
All relation dramas is basing on another 2 kids what i have now. This is not what my life with older 2 kids is. I never have opinions which Child is more important because I love all equal even if I not have chance be parent equal. All 4 kids never ask be born so I never understand why people comparing this @BibbleandSqwauk i love all same.

My exW Is suggesting also I have send maintenance to older child who is not study. But maybe he will be 40 and not able support himself and I still have send this.

I have no contact with kids. They blocked me with everything with no reasons, and exW organise court for money even I send this voluntary.

Sorry for English.

I'd say yes for 18 year old until September, then proof of studying. No for 20 year old unless proof of studying now.

I just mean that you can't just assume a child will be financially independent at 18, especially in our current financial situation. If your ex wife is needing to support them through training or whatever and housing and feeding them, then you should likewise be assisting with that. I don't think it's unreasonable for you to have some outline details however of what they are doing. And just as an aside, I'm in my 40s and my parents are still supporting my household to some extent due to various circumstances. You can never know what life will throw at you and you can't assume your kids will only need you for 18 years.