I know it’s Halloween but… ghosting?

[Snowdrop89]

Have a friend who texts a lot. We’ve texted most days for maybe 3 years. Just fun stuff, silly photos or memes, having a shit day stuff - just a really nice thing where we’re both on the end of our phones for each other. For a week now I’ve heard nothing. Can see she’s online & she’s read the messages I’ve sent. AIBU to feel upset? I’m totally ok if she wants some space or whatever but it’s the not knowing that’s upsetting me. Rightly or wrongly she’s become a part of my daily life, I miss her… why wouldn’t she just say what’s going on?

Have you asked her?

@goldennavy yep - read but didn’t reply

You don't own her OP or the messaging service.

Life changes, people move on.

Maybe there's a family emergency, maybe she fell asleep, shit day at work, bitch boss, met a guy, myriad things could have happened. Maybe daily messaging for 3 years has burnt her out.
It would definately have done my head in....

Spread your friendship group wider. That means not relying on one person fullfilling all your needs. (No-one has that capacity. We are social creatures).

Time to step out into the big wide world! It's not scary you know.

Do some self-development courses. Loads online you can do. Meditation? Yoga? Katie Byron? Etc.

You will thank your future self for becoming independent.

There's probably something shit going on she can't bring herself to talk to you about right now. Give her space

Sorry to hear that, OP, that's sounds a bit odd.

Can you give her a call and ask if everything is ok?

@fluffypotatoes Yes, will give space. I just don’t want to stop texting and her to think I don’t care. & it’s hard when I see something I want to share with her or something happens that I’d normally tell her…

@MariaLuna I do have a fairly wide friendship circle… I just particularly enjoyed chatting with this friend. And texting for 3 years was her choice too? I get life changes… would be odd not to miss someone who’s been there for a long time…

@CantFindTheBeat We don’t speak on the phone. We’re very much text friends. And I doubt if she doesn’t want to reply to my texts for whatever reason that she’d want to speak to me on the phone.

I’m quite an anxious person, due to my childhood mostly. I tend to blame myself for stuff and wonder ‘what have I done wrong.’ A wise friend once said ‘nooooo you’ve done nothing. Most things have nothing to do with you, most people are focused on themselves.’

I found it hard to believe I wasn’t somehow the blame centre of the universe but they had a point. You’ve done your bit, you’ve asked. She’ll either get back to you with an explanation/apology or won’t.

@noooooooo I get anxious too, and I also grew up believing everything was my fault. Your post helped remind me - thank you x