Help! I'm the neighbour from hell.

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So I've just moved into a new house, stupidly put laminate floor everywhere.. the noise is ridiculous. I'm literally telling the kids off for walk/breathing/anything.. they sound like elephants everytime they move. It's the frontroom that's the worst. I have one rug that doesn't seem to make to much difference. Im so worried about upsetting the neighbours. I have serious mum guilt and absolutely hating the house. I have 0 money left to buy carpets or do much. But Any advice?

I have so many bigger issues & theres so much worse happening in the world but for some reason this noise situation is really getting to me.

Helpppppppp!

What about a carpet protector during the day? Basically a big sheet of vinyl that you can roll up when you want the room to look and feel more like an adult space

No one's even complained yet have they?!

they might be able to hear, they might not. If they do, they might not even care. I wouldn't be bothered by this unless it was very late at night or very early in the morning. You have to expect some noise when you're in a terrace.

You are just imagining that there might be a problem, in all reality there isn't. If the neighbours were pissed off with you, I'm sure they would have let you know!
Maybe you are a welcome relief for them? Their last neighbour might have had several barking dogs or been into EDM music at 4am.
Sounds like you've been through quite a lot recently, stop shouting at the kids and start enjoying your new home.

Of course I have children….. dirt and spills are part of family life. You will never look back and regret not doing more cleaning…. Your adult children will never wish you hadn’t had a lingering paint stain

I think two things matter. 1. That the kids always see how pleased you are to see them 2 that you believe in them. If, in order to achieve (1) you feel a need to have a spotless house then go for it.

@Iturnedmyfaceaway thats why laminate is easier.. easy quick clean.. we can paint, we can play with slim and im not trying to clean up a carpet.. carpet is a no go in the front room.. I've done it before and doesn't work..

Also, maybe go round and introduce yourself to the neighbours, then you aren't imagining them as ogres anymore (unless they open the door and they actually are Shrek and Fiona).

Have your neighbours actually complained about the noise?
Sounds like you and your children are making normal to be expected noise.
I'm in a terrace house and the my neighbours are in the end terrace, 6 kids and laminate floors. Doesn't bother us at at all, like you've described we here them running around/laughing/screaming/playing. It's to be expected!
The only neighbours that have pissed me off are ones that blare music late at night.

Fair enough OP - if you need high levels of cleanliness to be the mum you want to be then that’s what you have to do.

find other ways to be a good neighbour (obviously don’t expect neighbours to share the joy of the painting sessions but do small favours, etc).

@SoShallINever @Its5656
I went round before moving in, they are really nice.. which I'd also why I don't wanna be an awful neighbour.

I know I sound an anxious mess but I'm not normally.. that's how bad the noise actually is. I think the underlay is to thin, but it's to late now for that to change. So I'm thinking one of them huge foam type play matt for the upstairs big bedroom where most the playing happens and a bigger thicker rug in the front room and soft slippers for the kids.

Just 2 rooms that are issues.. the rest don't seem to be so loud.

The only unreasonable thing is that it doesn't appear that you talk to your neighbours. If you were a reasonable neighbour, surely you'd have asked and they'd have told you if there was a problem? The only person you've established has a problem with it is you.

What are your neighbours like? Are they noisy themselves?

We have neighbours with hard flooring, we hear the kids running up and down the stairs (opposite side of their house!) Like a herd of elephants, and giggling and other child noise a lot. It doesn't annoy us because we're not a no noise household either. Please try not to worry, lots of people don't worry about kids noise. If it was you and your husband screaming at eachother and throwing stuff, it would be a different matter entirely.

@DogInATent I have spoken to them just not since I've realised how bad it is. We've only been here half a week. I took round a gift to say hi and sorry for the builder noise lol

My best friend took up all her carpet from her downstairs and replaced it all with fake wood laminate. They also took out all the downstairs doors so it's open plan. They haven't even put down a single rug.
Honestly, I hate it and don't know what possessed them to do such a thing! Now the smallest noise seems to echo!
It used to be such a cozy, warm house. But now I just see it as a lesson to keep my own downstairs carpeted!

"I have 0 money left to buy carpets or do much. But Any advice?"
I have bought a couple of rugs from my local auction house, one (about 8x5 feet) cost me £15, the smaller one £8. Both were practically new. Many times I've seen huge good quality rugs going for buttons (<£20). Most auction houses are online now so you can check up if they've got anything useful without actually going. Nor do you have to attend in person, bids can be left with them and many auctions are also conducted online (they had to during Covid lockdowns, many have retained it since).

Sound is absorbed by soft surfaces and reflected by hard, so minimise your hard surfaces as much as possible, not just the flooring. Cover table with a tablecloth, any throws you have draped on chair backs, coffee tables too; curtains not blinds; fabric, fabric, fabric!

@zingally it's just more practical having this rather than carpet while the kids are young, it's not a huge room and there isn't echos it just 2 room in the house that the foot noise is awful.

@WhereYouLeftIt thank you that's really helpful, I'll look in to the auction places around here. I just Brough a new rug from wayfair but it's just a bit to small and not thick enough I don't think x

I honestly wouldn’t care about noise next door, as long as it wasn’t during unsociable hours.

I would try and keep the kids quiet in the morning and evenings but then let them do what they want from say 10am-6pm.

Out of those hours you could let them have screen time, go out for walks or to the park etc.

I too would always worry about the noise (I wish I didn’t).
So we’d leave the house not long after my DC woke up (early) and after having breakfast, then go for a walk/to the park then come back and relax with screen time.
Then after a certain time she was free to run around and play, go outside, sing and dance etc and then in the evening we’d messy play like painting, then a bath and more calm activities like reading, drawing, playing with Lego, watching Tv etc.

So I didn’t often tell my DC to be quiet but I tried to arrange my day so they were noisier during the daytime and tired them out and let them scream and shout when they were in the park etc.

If you’re end terrace I’m sure it’s fine, it’s flats where flooring is a problem.

Can you afford a few foam mat tiles from Amazon? Like this kind of thing?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Edz-Kidz-Interlocking-Piece-Pastel/dp/B00MBE4BH6/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=384Y7TT9Z57E3&keywords=foam+tiles&qid=1698579634&sprefix=foam+tiles%2Caps%2C70&sr=8-3

Most important thing is to chill and not tell off your children for making normal child noises. It wouod be better to have an irritated neighbour than to give your children issues.

Go and ask your neighbour.

"Hi, we recently had some hard floors put down and I just want to check how the noise is for you?"

That will massively alay your fears and may mean no money needs to be spent!

Speak to them about it - they may say it's not a problem! If you go down fluffy sock route - get ones with grippy bits or the kids will be slip-sliding all over the place - voice of experience

I have young children (inc a toddler), and we have carpet - it's never been an issue. I have a close friend with a 2-year-old and a cream carpet and sofa.

It is doable, and would help the noise problem a lot!

I suggest you send flowers to the squatters in your basement immediately.

Wearing Crocs indoors helps
(Edit - I wish on holidays everyone in the rooms above me would wear these….it would be so considerate)

I live in an end terrace, the house my house is joined onto has laminate flooring and is home to a couple with a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I do hear them scampering about sometimes when they are being very lively but it is not annoying. My neighbours on the other side of the communal entry are a whole different story, shouting, yelling, using the backyard to store and deal scap from, house is an unofficial HMO and I sometimes have to wear earplugs to block out the noise. You sound like a very considerate person and I would love to have a neighbour like you.

Magenta65 "My neighbours both sides have hard flirting."

Well now I'm feeling deprived.

I've never had hard flirting and now I want some and it's all your fault, Magenta65! 😡