TRIGGER- MC. Anyone up? Ectopic, surgery and feeling frantic about the future.

[Herefordeals]

The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster. Discovered I was pregnant with a much wanted LO. Started bleeding and assumed MC (I've had a few). Bleeding stopped so went for HCG bloods which showed they were high. Next set showed a slight increase but not enough to be viable. Within 24 hours I was in theatre.

I've just woken from all the drugs and been told they had to remove the left tube but everything else looks healthy. I'm totally devastated. I haven't even managed to sit up yet but already thinking about our future.

Anyone able to offer some positivity? We won't be able to TTC for a couple of months apparently while I heal so need to find a way to fill this time with something I feel might be preparing me for that. Does that make sense? I'm thinking along the lines of a couple of months of good diet, lots of water, start doing some light exercise etc. Maybe start reading a bit more while I'm off work. Can anyone suggest any other little things that might give me focus while I recover? How long will I even need to recover? I don't remember the Dr saying but I'm in agony right now. Granted I'm only 4 hours post surgery.

It might be drugs I've had but I've woken up in absolute terror and feel so panicky at what the future holds and can't imagine leaving this hospital yet again without our own little bundle. I'm totally heartbroken. Mumsnet anyone around to hold my hand for a while?

I'm very sorry OP💐

I lost my right tube a year ago due to a ruptured ectopic when I was 34. Please don't panic about your fertility. Lots of women go on to have babies after an ectopic.

I have since conceived twice with only 1 tube - I conceived more quickly both times than I did when I had two tubes. The doctors who treated me say they've delivered lots of babies to women they've previously treated for ectopics.

When I had my surgery one of the nurses had 2 sons after her ectopic. One of the doctors was born after his mothers ectopic and also has a younger sibling.

The best advice I can give you is to give yourself time to heal, physically and mentally. The ectopic pregnancy trust are great - the helpline is staffed by women who have been through an ectopic pregnancy and you may benefit from speaking to someone else who has had the same experience. It's not an easy thing to deal with - I had a lot of anger - but it does get better, I promise.

I had an ectopic. Tube removed but ovaries intact and other tube ok. The chance at another pregnancy is good in this scenario. I was more panicky that i could have left my DD motherless so i was grateful for the intervention. It took me not too late ng to recover but i do jump back quickly. I went too fast tbh. I was out hospital next day ..out and about day after and was really poorly after that. I was feeling better after a week. The anaesthetic made me really weepy and confused and youre post op so give it time for body to recover and anaesthetic to wear off properly. Little steps. ♥️. Once youre home and in your own environment its better. Its because the while process is so clinical. But if mentally your struggling theres help out there for baby loss...miscarriage .. ectopic.

I spent my recovery re-reading the Harry Potter books and playing the games as well as playing other games I like. We also rewatched the films and watched other favourite films as well.

I indulged in various sweet treats - brownies, sweets etc. Basically the stuff I couldn't eat much of when pregnant.

We also named our baby and had a little memorial session with DH's priest. We gave our baby a nature name and bought some artwork featuring said natural feature and a Christmas decoration to commemorate them.

Hi everyone,
Sorry I haven't replied before now. I have read every single one of your messages (many times!) over the past few days and I really feel so much better knowing there's some hope and this isn't the end of our TTC journey hopefully. Thank you to every one of you who shared your story and offered some comfort, it genuinely helped as I lay awake pumped full of anaesthetic worrying about everything. It has also helped re reading once home and reminding myself that all is not lost.

Physically much better, still not feeling able to drive or bend much. Haven't been out the house since I left the hospital actually. Those who went back to work after two weeks- you are troopers!
Thanks again everyone, will check out the ectopic pregnancy trust as recommended too. I feel like I could probably do with that.