Sorry if its a long story.
I'm 50 .. at 40 I experienced pelvic organ prolapse , went private for treatment and suffered horrific pain afterwards. It did resolve/improve about 18 months.
18 months ago I clearly felt that there was a prolapse was back... lots of pressure , pain discomfort. Struggling to keep up with my job , can't do any of my usual activities.
I was diagnosed with stage 1 uterine prolapse, stage 2 cystocele , stage 4 rectal intusseption and a very large enterocoele. I was added to the wait list for a hysterectomy and a bladder repair. I was also referred to a colo rectal surgeon I was told by the gynae I would also need a rectopexy and asked which op I wanted first.
After consideration I decided that knowing my own body it was probably the rectal issues/enterocele causing the biggest issue and I wanted to avoid the vaginal repairs after the trauma of the first round.
Colo rectal surgeon said no way , they don't do rectopexy for stage 4 and the enterocele was best treated by a gynecologist. That she would e mail him to let him know.
Tried to discuss with gynecologist , got e mail saying I'm on list , no further appointment offered.
My gynaecology surgery was scheduled for the 26/10. I was so anxious after what happened with that first op .. I didn't sleep well at all for about 2 weeks , but thought be brave , if you want to be comfortable you're just going to have to be brave - no guarantees i know that. Believe me.
Day of surgery , new consultant didn't know that they'd been asked to treat the enterocele, thought everything was a bit too much. So said she would just do the hysterectomy and bladder repair .. and look at the rest , did talk about cancelling and I guess with hindsight that would have been the right thing. But hindsight is great right ?
I got woken up by a nurse saying get up , you had nothing done. I do not remember much , just flashes but I know I said wtf started sobbing that I couldn't believe it with more swearing and I want to go home. the dr came explained she didn't actually think I had a problem at all , I think. Or that it was complex , or that she'd go back to the colo rectal surgeon , I can't be sure.
I left the hospital. .. Sitting outside crying a lady approached me who was an off duty nurse , she helped me calm down and then convinced me I needed to go back in .. as I had not long woken from a general anesthetic, I did , got told I had discharged myself and to contact my gp.
I'm mortified that I swore , that I left , that I can't remember bits of the time , and am trying to recall exactly what happened.
The next day I made a complaint about how this went down , and passed my sincerest apologies for the swearing.
I'm so stressed , I know I have been in the wrong.
Does anyone have any advice .. I live alone and just typing this out is helping. I do also have an anxiety disorder ( worse since meno) and told the anesthetist about this.