Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Any nurses here? Need a bit of support , advice , maybe a telling off. But feel alone tonight

13 replies

RaINBe · 28/10/2023 22:54

Sorry if its a long story.

I'm 50 .. at 40 I experienced pelvic organ prolapse , went private for treatment and suffered horrific pain afterwards. It did resolve/improve about 18 months.

18 months ago I clearly felt that there was a prolapse was back... lots of pressure , pain discomfort. Struggling to keep up with my job , can't do any of my usual activities.

I was diagnosed with stage 1 uterine prolapse, stage 2 cystocele , stage 4 rectal intusseption and a very large enterocoele. I was added to the wait list for a hysterectomy and a bladder repair. I was also referred to a colo rectal surgeon I was told by the gynae I would also need a rectopexy and asked which op I wanted first.
After consideration I decided that knowing my own body it was probably the rectal issues/enterocele causing the biggest issue and I wanted to avoid the vaginal repairs after the trauma of the first round.
Colo rectal surgeon said no way , they don't do rectopexy for stage 4 and the enterocele was best treated by a gynecologist. That she would e mail him to let him know.
Tried to discuss with gynecologist , got e mail saying I'm on list , no further appointment offered.
My gynaecology surgery was scheduled for the 26/10. I was so anxious after what happened with that first op .. I didn't sleep well at all for about 2 weeks , but thought be brave , if you want to be comfortable you're just going to have to be brave - no guarantees i know that. Believe me.
Day of surgery , new consultant didn't know that they'd been asked to treat the enterocele, thought everything was a bit too much. So said she would just do the hysterectomy and bladder repair .. and look at the rest , did talk about cancelling and I guess with hindsight that would have been the right thing. But hindsight is great right ?
I got woken up by a nurse saying get up , you had nothing done. I do not remember much , just flashes but I know I said wtf started sobbing that I couldn't believe it with more swearing and I want to go home. the dr came explained she didn't actually think I had a problem at all , I think. Or that it was complex , or that she'd go back to the colo rectal surgeon , I can't be sure.
I left the hospital. .. Sitting outside crying a lady approached me who was an off duty nurse , she helped me calm down and then convinced me I needed to go back in .. as I had not long woken from a general anesthetic, I did , got told I had discharged myself and to contact my gp.
I'm mortified that I swore , that I left , that I can't remember bits of the time , and am trying to recall exactly what happened.
The next day I made a complaint about how this went down , and passed my sincerest apologies for the swearing.
I'm so stressed , I know I have been in the wrong.

Does anyone have any advice .. I live alone and just typing this out is helping. I do also have an anxiety disorder ( worse since meno) and told the anesthetist about this.

OP posts:
Moredarkchocolateplease · 28/10/2023 23:01

Omg OP that is horrific. There is no continuity of care at all.

I'd go and see your GP urgently on monday to discuss. And if it was a private hospital I would call them ASAP on Monday too when you feel in a calmer place.

How bloody awful of them to let you go home without speaking to you properly.

I have a rectocele and cystocele so know some of your discomfort and I really feel for you.

Moredarkchocolateplease · 28/10/2023 23:02

Do you not have a discharge letter where is is all written down?

RaINBe · 28/10/2023 23:11

It was NHS.
I think that as I said I wanted to go , they let me. When I went back , they were not friendly and I guess thats because I went up like a firework when I was told they put me under , to do nothing. I really can't remember much till I got picked up , even then , its patchy.
Thankyou for replying

OP posts:
EatingSleeping · 28/10/2023 23:16

This sounds horrific and I'm so sorry you went through that. Is this very recent, as in just happened? Assuming this is NHS I think you need to contact Pals. Of course you reacted badly to finding out nothing has been 'fixed' and sounds a lot like you were actually still medicated and not really fit to make a decision to discharge yourself. Be kind to yourself tonight. Try and get some sleep and make a plan tomorrow

RaINBe · 28/10/2023 23:21

This was on Thursday. I did contact pals and they will talk to me next week, I think. I'll try to let it go , just trying to remember and feeling so so stupid and remorseful that I reacted that way. I've been crying since I got home on and off. Im scared that now I won't get any treatment at all. Thankyou for replying

OP posts:
RaINBe · 28/10/2023 23:25

By the way , I'm anxious , menopausal and was very scared , but I do a very responsible job .. and this was out if character for me. My gp is good so I'll see him also. It has helped just to type this out thankyou for replying

OP posts:
Nickleback · 28/10/2023 23:47

So very sorry, what a horrendous experience 😞

QuestionableMouse · 28/10/2023 23:52

General anaesthetic can really knock you for six!

I'm so sorry this happened to you - please don't blame yourself for the way you reacted, you'd just had some very strong drugs and they should really have taken better care of you.

Alopeciabop · 29/10/2023 00:05

Oh no none cares what you say coming out from GA. Unless you get a mean bitchy nurse which does happen but even then they know everyone talks shit - they’re just bitchy so are mean to everyone.

most nurses etc won’t bat an eyelid.

think you need to get an appointment with the best/kindest/most understanding doctor at your surgery (ask the receptionist) and tell them exactly what has been going on (write it all down before hand). Be strong and demand something be done about it. Cry pathetically if you think it will help.

RaINBe · 29/10/2023 00:31

Thank-you for your replies , thankyou

OP posts:
jacks11 · 29/10/2023 00:38

I think if the surgeon was not happy to do the planned procedure- either because they felt it unnecessary/ not the right procedure (and they can’t simply do something else if you haven’t had it explained/consented to it unless it emergency or life-saving treatment) or they find something else when they go in/ a complication means it beyond their skill set/scope of practice or likely to cause issues if done- then they were right to abandon the procedure. I don’t think that is bad practice.

The issue is that they did not explain this to you properly- you should have a full understanding of why the surgeon decided not to proceed and have some idea regarding the next step from here (what are they suggesting you have done).

I think it also sounds like they let you go before you had fully recovered from the after effects of the anaesthetic. I can’t be 100% sure as some people also rest badly to stressful situations too but your lack of clarity makes me think it is the the corner. People can behave out of character after anaesthesia and if that is what happened, it’s not your fault. Although if extreme it may still need to be dealt with at the time for everyone’s sake. If you had been shouting and swearing and then decided to discharge yourself whilst fully compus mentus then that would be a different matter, but it doesn’t sound like it’s the case.

Agree, see your gp (though not sure you’ll necessarily be able to get an emergency appointment first thing Monday) and speak to PALS. Hope you feel better soon.

RaINBe · 29/10/2023 00:46

Thankyou for your reply. My gp is ( thankfully ) very lovely and has known me for a very long time. He's agreed to see me face to face on Monday. You make some good points

OP posts:
Tinysoxxx · 29/10/2023 01:23

Every nurse will know people act strangely when coming out of anaesthetic. They shouldn’t have let you leave in that state especially if you didn’t have anyone with you.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page