ADHD diagnosis in adults advice please

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I think I might have it.

I've spoken to the GP who says it takes around two years for a referral.

I need help now! I want to be more productive at work. I just can't focus and procrastinate for hours.

I struggle in other areas too

Do most people medicate or are there other options ?

What about seeking a private diagnosis ? It looks expensive but I would do it to find out if I really help it and to get help.

Has anyone gone down this route and can give me some advice ?

Is your only symptom focus/ concentration? Have work raised concerns about your productivity?

Waiting lists are long. And if you get a private referral you will probably have to pay privately for medication unless you can persuade your gp to do so. Initially when you start it, it will be under a consultant for some time until they are happy with dosage so your gp won't get involved.
Dd looked into this and in the end got the gp to refer her to where the lists were shortest. She is now on a list to try medication and still has to jump the hurdle with the gp once that is done as although NHS the consultant was out of the Local area and so may not accept it.

Private diagnosis isn’t too expensive - but titrating onto medication can be. It took my DD 12 months to settle onto a permanent prescription for example and I am over a year in and still not settled.

there’s also a major shortage of adhd medication until early next year so most providers aren’t putting people onto meds.

best thing to do is to join some facebook groups for adhd if you use facebook. Look at alternative treatments and pick up tips and tricks for the areas of life you struggle with most.

exercise is one of the most effective treatments for adhd meds, but there are practical things you can pick up from adhd people whether you formally have it or not I would think

It’s around four years’ wait here.

Remember if you get a private diagnosis and start meds, you may need to pay several hundreds of pounds for meds and monitoring monthly until the GP finally agrees to take over.

Good luck with it all.

I'm quite disorganised and inconsistent around bills and admin stuff too. Car insurance, MOT etc.

Also in the home, I really like a tidy home but find it difficult to be consistent with it. Any routine really, I can't stick to for a long time.

Work is the most serious one for me because I know I could be so much better at my job if I could just buckle down more. I need constant pressure and deadlines in order to get off my arse and it's always been that way.

I struggled at secondary school and at uni massively.

It's not been 'flagged' as such that my productivity is low, but that's because of the type of job I do. I work in business development, so I have quarterly targets and I don't have daily KPIs, so I can get away with slacking for a while if I happen to have a few good things going on or if others aren't performing either.

I always misplace things in my home . I wouldn't say lose stuff out of the home, but I struggle massively with putting things away in the same place. So I'm always looking for stuff.

You mention needing help right now.

Are you in crisis? I’m assuming you have struggled for years but kept your head somewhat above water? Has something happened to bring things to a head? In the absence of immediate help can we offer any support on any new immediate issues?

Ir is it that once you’ve considered the possibility of ADHD you need to find out right now if not yesterday?! (That would be quite consistent with ADHD)

I am really worried about work. I managed to get by on a bit of luck before. I have a lot of responsibilities now and I need to do well at work. I can't lose my job because I keep fucking around.

Also, I don't feel happy. I don't feel productive and I feel guilty. I have kids I send to nursery and pay for to just sit fucking around and not focusing enough on my work ? I feel bad about myself, every day. Something needs to change. I wish I could just sit down and get on with it.

Before when I wasn't paying an arm and a leg for nursery because I didn't have kids, I didn't care as much I guess. I somehow managed. I'm in more senior roles now and I am ambitious and I want to go far in my career. Life is expensive and I have massive expectations for myself and for my family. I want to reach them and if there's something I could do to have more focus and stop procrastinating, I feel like maybe I could actually achieve more. Am I just deluded ?

I am a few months down the line for you.
The things I have done that have helped are:

1. Tell my line manager that I am getting assessed for ADHD and would like some support around it. Mine have educated themselves and agreed to have weekly meetings to check work is being done in suitable timeframes.

We have a checklist we go through that I make sure 2 days before I'm up to date with. Better than long deadlines.

1. Relaxation techniques. I do yoga Nidra YouTube videos twice a week
2. Lots of exercise (football, walking, tennis, yoga, gym) helps me regulate.
3. Decluttering. Sorted out every room, every drawer and was ruthless. Much less shite around, much harder to lose stuff (still do!!) But much better

DD self medicated with filter coffee for years, before getting the diagnosis as an adult! Caffeinated Coca Cola also works!

We’ve just spent a few days with her. We quickly realised something was up - she admitted she hadn’t taken any meds for a week. We’d forgotten what she was like without them! Fidgeting, easily bored, impatient…..

I'm diagnosed but not currently medicating. Ritalin helped with focus at school and stopped me being constantly distracted but supposedly does less for procrastination - obv less of an issue at school as you have a rigid schedule. Below is what Google says about it.

In fact, while medication for ADHD often improves attention and concentration, it typically does very little to help symptoms of disorganization, poor time management, forgetfulness, and procrastination—the very issues that cause the most problems for many adults with ADHD.

I don't take it as an adult as I'm not convinced that taking amphetamines long term is good for you - chemical structure is ultimately very similar to cocaine even if it affects our brains differently. Recent studies suggest that ADHD meds can give a 6-8x higher chance of developing Parkinson's and other neurological diseases which is a bit worrying tbh.

Researchers from the University of Utah explain that patients with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) were more than twice as likely to develop early-onset Parkinson disease or a related basal ganglia and cerebellum disease than peers who do not have ADHD. Among patients who are prescribed stimulant medications to control their ADHD, the risk was 6- to 8-fold higher.

https://www.ajmc.com/view/new-research-finds-link-between-adhd-and-parkinson-disease

Declutter the home and be as minimal as possible makes it easier to find things, then get a bowl to put all important things in, keys, phone, purse. You can also buy tags, they come in a pack of 6 and are colour coordinated with a remote, so put a purple tag on your phone and when you press the purple button it beeps, full on game changer.

With work set yourself goals and rewards, I can look on MN once I've done this and this task, I can have my lunch when this and this is complete. Try to get as much done in the morning when you at your best and more likely to focus

With life administration write lists. On a day your not at work write a list of everything you need to do that day such as sort MOT, buy birthday cards etc.

Buy a diary and use it, a diary will be your best friend.

It doesn't work all the time and things will still get delayed, miss placed but it does help.

You could try a simple bullet journal. It's helped me immensely

For me, the best solution was doing a job where ADHD isn't a big impediment. When I'm driving trucks or doing stuff onsite it helps to be a bit restless as you don't become complacent which is when accidents happen. However, in an office I needed to be able to zone in.

Thanks for the suggestions. Has anyone had good results with medication ? I think if I was able to properly focus and learn better, it would be worth the investment as my performance at work would also improve.

But I might be deluded and expecting some sort of magic answer.

Medication helps but even now being stable on medication it’s very obvious to everyone I meet that I have ADHD.

Medication also harms my creativity. Being able to focus is great for completing singular important tasks but in any brainstorming session at least three quarters of the ideas would be mine.

Having your brain dance from one thing to the other can be an extraordinary thing in the right setting. I constantly amused myself with my own racing thoughts before and the quiet takes getting used to

I'm making an assumption you are female here but try the ADHD women's wellbeing series of podcasts. They have helped me a lot. Five year wait in my area. I'm two months in 🙁

Have you been in insta reels? Or TikTok? Everyone has adhd if you start listening to that bollocks

I know what you're saying there. It's a few things together that have led me to want to find out more. Maybe I don't have it, indeed.

I guess it's easier to accept that there's a reason why I struggle and have struggled for a long time- rather than just accepting that I'm a lazy, deficient cow.

I have ADHD but very opposed to using medication as I see a great deal of value in having ADHD, I enjoy many aspects of how it makes my mind work. Of course this is not everyone’s perspective or experience so for some medication might be the best option.

here’s my symptoms and how I manage them (everyone’s experience and symptoms are different but it might give you some ideas)

inability to perform unless having strict urgent deadlines- I’ve communicated this at work and agreed with a manager to set deadlines where there wouldn’t normally be any. I hate letting people down.

Everything being last minute. - I have just told everyone around me that it’s my way and to leave me be. It will get done. It’s not a problem, I get ready when I need to (last minute). I think this one is only a problem for other people. Getting me to do things early is a problem for me as it’s difficult to get a non- urgent task to actually come on my radar/exist - ties in with the first point above.

I have just accepted sometimes I’ll have a super clean house, other times a bomb site. My DH understands and keeps things ticking over in between. If I think it’s about time but don’t feel the urge I invite people round to create a deadline.

I don’t lose things

overstimulation/hyper vigilance (a big one for me as I also have (ptsd)- headphones in busy places (inc work - they know why). Meditation - not the empty your mind kind but discursive meditation(could have long rant over why this is much better anyway) which trains your mind to keep moving but in a more focused way- without it my mind jumps round like a rabbit in speed.

Hyperfocus -lots of storage space, lots of bookshelves accept you will generally always win at pub quizzes 😀 explain to those around you you won’t be held responsible if they interrupt

need for quiet- get some quiet

need for stimulation - this particularly manifests it’s self for me in chewing something crunchy and salty generally crisps (so I have carrots with some salt)

i often can’t view things the same way as others. I just accept that, remind myself of different perspectives and rejoice inwardly at my much superior perspective- just don’t let on😄)

find neurodivergent friends who similarly think the rest of the world is missing something- I found mine in the world of the occult.

I’ve got a fucking awesome imagination- I have a separate life running in my head. Indulge it- it helps sort out real life problems. Set aside time for day dreaming.

checklists for emergencies. Somethings my prefrontal cortex says (as its last words) no more. Have a rough default daily timetable drawn up that you can flip to if time gets muddled.

Actually generally ignore the concept of time (it doesn’t exist anyway) see it as it really is, a series of events. If others insist on the ridiculous notion of time, just tag it to your event to make them happy.

Get someone to help you do this by putting stuff in diaries with two reminders. Use Alexa to give reminders of events. I even have trouble with this at making sure I’ve put something in at the right time so ask DH for help.

do communicate, ask for help, identify needs. Consider what you’re good at because of your ADHD. There’s nothing wrong with how you think and act. The worlds just designed by boring people (generally obsessed with time).

oh and the procrastination- usually the options make very little difference anyway people just want a decision, always default to one that people give as a second option, it’s generally their preferred one). Unless you’re in certain professions generally no one will die.

But ADHD is fucking awesome - my life is never boring. It’s about managing the boring stuff so many are unfathomably obsessed by (I mean who needs clothes that match anyway)

It sounds like you're doing really well. Thanks for your insights. How long have you known about high adhd ?

I don't know if I have it. I can't really relate to any of the positives you describe.

I just find things difficult. I also find it difficult to follow conversations unless I'm totally interested in them. I have to stop myself interrupting customers at work a lot, when they go off on a three hour monologue.. I can stop myself but find it hard to remember the questions I need to ask etc. mind goes blank a lot.

I feel like I'm bored a lot and always looking for the next thing to stimulate me and make me feel that sense of excitement - could be absolutely normal and nothing to do with adhd.

The deadlines thing rings true SO much. Every Friday I have an update call with work, where I have to present my progress to the whole group and management. Monday is my least productive day because of this. I just can't motivate myself to do much on Mondays. As the week closes in I start to panic and work overtime to make up for what I've missed.

Like last week, I pretty much just stayed in bed Monday and Tuesday ( I was ill but could probably have worked through it ). Then Wednesday I started feeling a bit better and worked a bit more. By Thursday I was stressing out about what I was going to talk about in Fridays meeting, so I started going nuts and Friday the same. I need the imminent pressure to get on with things.

At uni it was the same. I was always cramming. I got good enough grades but I hate to think how much better I could have done if I had just worked properly.

My mind works best early in the morning and after 3 ish I'm no good ( unless there's a big deadline looming ).

I feel like I need to allocate three times as much time for work tasks because I need to build in my non concentrated time. If I knew I was just able to sit down for X amount of hours and do my work, my life would change.

I would allow myself time in the day to go to the gym or play tennis. I was doing that a few months ago and found my work suffered because I just couldn't buckle down to do it. Again, unless a deadline is looming.

We went down the private diagnosis route. You have to factor in not just the assessment but the ongoing care and private prescription until you're given shared care with the NHS then full care. Cost me about £2000 in total but am convinced that it saved my daughter's life. I'm also convinced that NOT being recognised/ diagnosed by the professionals who were in her life for 10 years up to that point exacerbated her poor mental health.
I went into debt to do it and would do it again in a heartbeat.

I was diagnosed quite a few years ago - when it seems times were quite so long.

I think society primes us to concentrate on the negatives it’s seen as negative not to fit in a box. But many of these things aren’t negative they’re just different ways of doing things.

My best advice is lay aside the concept of time. It’s a pointless waste of energy when you have ADHD. Some people trundle along consistently, people with ADHD have mad moments of intense activity but need the down time to concentrate, just take what you do and tell people it’s taken you x amount of time that you think someone else would take - add on a bit of time, look at how long your colleagues take to do things. They won’t be having these mad productive bursts but rather than concentrate on how productive we’ve been during that time we beat ourselves up over our necessary down time, most people are joggers, we’re sprinters.

re boring conversations- adhders are good pattern spotters, you’ve probably worked out the end of the story 2min in. Log down standard questions and comments,” wow sounds like you pulled that one out the bag” “fantastic, what next” “oh my god that’s awful”.., recognise your response early on log it. any particular questions write them down. Explain you have trouble remembering- people are fine about it. I always have note paper and pen.L list. It might not make you the best at conversation but it will get you through.

try and make as many routines and tasks as automatic as you can manage. If you don’t have to remember it you can’t forget it!

Give yourself a break you’re doing as well as anyone else, you’re just doing it differently.

learn about yourself as much as possible, find ways to celebrate your strengths, recognise any difficulties and work out ways to deal with them in a way that works for you. you’re not fitting into the standard boxes. Who gives a fuck. Be loud and proud. You’ll have so many things that make you special - some of these things wouldn’t exist without your ADHD.

The thing with ADHD is that the symptoms and issues it causes resonate with the entire population.

Everyone has trouble focusing attention, everyone forgets and loses important items and everyone acts impulsively from time to time.

The difference is that I and people with ADHD have these issues every single day from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep and it causes absolute chaos for myself and everyone around me.

The symptoms of ADHD must have been present consistently since childhood and there must be evidence of this.

I am at the upper end of normal in terms of my cognitive ability and yet I have 4 GCSEs.

I have been driving for 25 years and my driving licence is issue 24. That’s correct 24 new replacement driving licences in 25 years.

I have had to have an emergency passport issued at great expense a dozen times.

I have a terrible record with paying bills, tax returns, receiving parking tickets and not paying until the amount has doubled or tripled, having bailiffs at the door despite earning a lot of money at work - the list is endless.

I’ve locked myself out of the house 4 times so far this year, I have forgotten to take the children to school and forgotten to pick them up. I’m impulsive to a dangerous degree.

these issues have at times led to severe depression, serious self sabotage and even suicidal ideation.

For ADHD to be diagnosed it has to cause you impairment in (I think) at least two different settings, so not just at work.

The worst thing about being diagnosed for me was that it robbed me of the notion that one day I would just start doing things properly and live happily ever after. That particular delusion used to provide me a lot of solace when things got really bad.

Im stuck being me forever!

I try to keep life as simple as possible and that seems to reduce the chaos.