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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tips to get through the next few months at work

15 replies

Getmeoutofheere · 28/10/2023 17:43

So I have never felt so miserable in a job. If there is such thing as a toxic work environment this is it. I work for a LA. Training, onboarding and support were shocking. People are treated differently to a huge degree. Very odd manager (ie. Sometimes nice, sometimes overly nice, unboundaried, sometimes literally puts the phone down on you or ignores you when you raise an issue). The only redeeming features are that I am allowed annual leave and I’ve flexible working arrangement works for my family.

Anyway I have decided I need out. I have a golden hello I need to pay back if I leave in the next 6 months and I simply don’t have the money to pay it back. My plan is to start applying for jobs in 2-3 months as application process/ notice period etc will take me up to that point. Hopefully applying will carry me through 🙂

I know im
being unreasonable but please tell me how you survive working in a toxic environment….

OP posts:
PonyPatter44 · 28/10/2023 17:48

I was in a very toxic environment at my old job. I dealt with it by applying for every job under the sun! I also made sure I had plenty to look forward to outside work- days out, holidays, new shoes, etc.

Is it the job itself or the people around you that causes the problem?

EvilElsa · 28/10/2023 17:54

I coped by stepping back mentally as much as possible. I had an end date in mind and focused on that, kept my head down and used my lunches and breaks to either go for a calming quick walk or listen to something on my phone. Outside of work, I made sure I forgot as much as possible and did things that made me happy and distracted. I even had a countdown app on my phone when I has an official leave date!

Hipnotised · 28/10/2023 17:55

You aredefinitely not being unreasonable!

Original poster
Getmeoutofheere · 28/10/2023 17:59

Thank you yes I think you’re right. I’m going to start applying for jobs in a couple of months. I think it would be a bit much to expect a future employer to wait 6 months for me but as soon as I can apply I will x and yes defo will make the most of life outside if it .

I’m not sure if it’s a my team problem (ie manager) or if it’s the wider organisation. It’s been largely working from home so it’s been really tricky to work out the lay of the land.

But the fact that This manager And his
complete lack of empathy, boundaries, listening, being stared at, contacted on on working days, his disappearing act whenever anything happens that as a manager he should be there for etc, is tolerated by managers above makes me think that it wouldn’t help if I moved to another team. I don’t want to give this organisation any more time than I need to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Getmeoutofheere · 28/10/2023 18:01

Obviously this should read being contacted on non working days 😂 not being contacted on working days

OP posts:
NalafromtheLionKing · 28/10/2023 18:05

Is it possible that a new employer would cover the amount you owe if you leave before the time is up?

tulippa · 28/10/2023 18:07

The only redeeming features are that I am allowed annual leave This isn't a perk though - most people get annual leave.

Focus on doing your job and try not to invest emotionally in it. Ignore any contact on non working days. Having a plan to get out and starting to look for new roles will make everything easier to deal with.

Original poster
Getmeoutofheere · 28/10/2023 18:08

I have thought this but it’s all public sector so don’t think the moneys there (and the organisation I would go and work for don’t offer golden hellos so not sure they’d do it tbh ). I might actually speak to HR on Monday and ask if they offer payment plans- worst case scenario - they must do right? X

OP posts:
Fallenangelofthenorth · 28/10/2023 18:12

If you're working from home are you not able to tune out your manager to some extent? Or do you need to work closely with him?

I do sympathise though as it's shit working somewhere you hate.

Densol57 · 28/10/2023 18:16

I’d get signed off with stress from GP as staying here could take you under
Said by someone who got burn out at 48 and it ruined a 20+ professional career

NeverDropYourMooncup · 28/10/2023 18:42

Eyes on the out/the money.

Block out of hours/non working day calls. Unblock if necessary on working days. 'why didn't you answer?' 'It wasn't a working day/I finish at 5'. 'I want you available all the time 'What will the revised offer be for adopting an on call working pattern?'.

Do your actual job well, but cultivate an I don't actually care attitude beyond that. So he hung up. Better than having to talk to him. Follow up with an email to whoever else 'what did John say when you asked him about this?' 'Shouted Fuck's Sake and slammed the phone down on me. Which is why I'm asking you, as he's clearly not available right now'. 'I did think that he needed to answer this, but I've asked three times and he hasn't responded, so he must be very busy right now. Could you confirm in the meantime, as it's needed for x deadline?'

'Why are you telling Sally that I swore and hung up on you?' Because you swore and hung up on me.

'Oh, having some bandwidth issues, that's why the camera isn't working today.' Too much latency.

Original poster
Getmeoutofheere · 28/10/2023 19:15

Fallenangelofthenorth · 28/10/2023 18:12

If you're working from home are you not able to tune out your manager to some extent? Or do you need to work closely with him?

I do sympathise though as it's shit working somewhere you hate.

We now have to go in soemtimes but yes you’re right I have tried to distance myself and only deal with him on a needs just basis. I can’t work like this long term though. Guess it’s only for a few more months I can get away with it. Thanks for your reply x

OP posts:
Original poster
Getmeoutofheere · 28/10/2023 19:17

NeverDropYourMooncup · 28/10/2023 18:42

Eyes on the out/the money.

Block out of hours/non working day calls. Unblock if necessary on working days. 'why didn't you answer?' 'It wasn't a working day/I finish at 5'. 'I want you available all the time 'What will the revised offer be for adopting an on call working pattern?'.

Do your actual job well, but cultivate an I don't actually care attitude beyond that. So he hung up. Better than having to talk to him. Follow up with an email to whoever else 'what did John say when you asked him about this?' 'Shouted Fuck's Sake and slammed the phone down on me. Which is why I'm asking you, as he's clearly not available right now'. 'I did think that he needed to answer this, but I've asked three times and he hasn't responded, so he must be very busy right now. Could you confirm in the meantime, as it's needed for x deadline?'

'Why are you telling Sally that I swore and hung up on you?' Because you swore and hung up on me.

'Oh, having some bandwidth issues, that's why the camera isn't working today.' Too much latency.

Thank you for your response. Yes I’ve kept quiet for too long. I can’t work out if I’m better to be honest and I couldn’t care less, or just keep my head down, keep quiet etc for the duration .

OP posts:
Original poster
Getmeoutofheere · 28/10/2023 19:18

Densol57 · 28/10/2023 18:16

I’d get signed off with stress from GP as staying here could take you under
Said by someone who got burn out at 48 and it ruined a 20+ professional career

Thank you for your response. I’m really sorry to hear about your experience…. I’m just not sure if I’d need to announce this during apps to new places. X

OP posts:
Original poster
Getmeoutofheere · 28/10/2023 19:20

tulippa · 28/10/2023 18:07

The only redeeming features are that I am allowed annual leave This isn't a perk though - most people get annual leave.

Focus on doing your job and try not to invest emotionally in it. Ignore any contact on non working days. Having a plan to get out and starting to look for new roles will make everything easier to deal with.

O sorry I wrote that wrong about the annual leave. I meant it’s easily approved whereas alternative employers in the industry need certain numbers of staff so it’s all a bit more of a drama. Here I’ve had everything approved. But then Ive spent half my annual leave this week dressing my return there so not really worth it

OP posts:
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