How do I overcome this?
I've never loved change but I've definitely got worse with time. I overthink every decision and rarely live in the moment. I cling onto fading friendships, I keep going to hobbies I'm no longer interested in etc. However, it's all coming to a head now as I think it is actively holding DH and me back.
Several years ago, we made a move away from friends and family to a new city for a work contract. This was only ever temporary and the plan after that was to settle and have our family in X city, a perfectly nice if small place very near to my family and quite close to our friends. It's a move that makes sense financially, in terms of work and in terms of family support. However, I just can't do it. I adore the city we ended up in and the friends we've made. I've kept us here longer than we ever planned. I've stagnated in my job because of it. We've now had our first baby here. My parents visit as able but it's a day of travel and we don't have much room for them to stay comfortably. They're such involved grandparents and I know we'd benefit so much from being close to them. Moving would benefit us in lots of ways but I just clam up when we even discuss it and end up fixating on something silly like how much I'd miss a certain neighbour or a certain walking route.
The obvious answer would be to stay here but I can't commit to that either! I worry about how little I'd see my friends from back home and how those relationships would change or what my parents would miss out on. We also really do need to move for more space wherever we end up, but I feel so sad at the thought of leaving our little house, how much I'd miss the view, what would happen to my garden etc.
I really need help getting over this. Other people in my life seem to move around, start new jobs, move homes, move away from family etc. without any excessive emotion. How can I be like them? I feel like I can't settle here, can't move there, can't move house, can't progress in my job etc. etc. etc. Anyone else like this?