DH’s diet

[backinthebox]

DH has declared he is going on a diet in November. He wishes only to eat healthy things. He does this a couple of times a year, and has done for many years. He tells me not to worry about buying or making meals for him, he will look after himself. This puts me in the position of thinking of, buying and making meals for the rest of the family. I’m a bit fed up of this bit of family-orientated mental load that he has decided he is opting out of in order to look after himself. I would quite often also like to opt out and look after myself and not have to think about anyone else too, but that would leave the kids starving or eating unhealthy food (he sees no problem with serving himself steak and asparagus while he serves up chicken nuggets and chips for the kids if I am not there.)

So, I have asked him to meal plan, shop and make food for himself, and we will all eat the same. He is welcome to have his diet food (lots of meat, cream, green veg, etc) but buy enough for the whole family and we will all have it. I’ve had 16 years of thinking of what to make and I’m a bit fed up of it. Heck, I’ll even go to the shops and buy it and cook it if he just tells me what the meal plan is.

He has got all uppity at this suggestion, telling me I am overreacting. All I’ve done is ask him to think of meals. AIBU to think that thinking of what to eat for the whole household every sodding day should not be my task alone?

How old are your kids? That’s not a balanced diet (keto?) for growing children.

yanbu

Well done op. My dh is currently on hour number 2 of doing an online shop because I have similarly gone on strike.

I don't understand what the issue is of making healthy food for the whole family?

If he wants meat/fish and veggies, no problem. Just add a side/carb for the children.

The age of the kids is significant here I think, but no you shouldn’t be left to sort everyone and he opts out.

You are not being unreasonable. It is draining trying to think about what to eat every day. He needs to share the pain

No, you aren't being unreasonable. I'm on a keto diet now and just cook potatoes, carrots or whatever and simply don't put them on my own plate. I may add some olives, or whatever.

It’s a perfectly fine diet for everyone several days a week. You’re talking dinner right? Not every meal, every day.

Oh wow what a cheeky fucker he is. I'd ADORE to only have to think about myself

Tell him the alternative is he cooks for himself PLUS still plans and cooks half of the meals for the rest of the family.

I find it very easy to cater for everyone and still feed the kids enough healthy stuff.
In your example i would make the kids steak, asparagus and maybe a portion of rice or some potatoes. And I myself would eat only a small portion or no carbs 🤷🏻‍♀️
Also, steak isnt healthy…

isnt a steak about £5. I doubt you can afford to give everyone the same thing everyday

I like your style OP 👏

Isn’t that exactly the point?!

Yes!! Absolutely he can do that. Easy to add
extra bits to the meals to make it ok for children so he can start off with the meal he wants & then add extra potato etc as needed.

I know lots of people cook multiple meals but I can’t be bothered with the level of extra cooking & cleaning- everyone needs to eat broadly the same meal. Whenever I am a Mum want to eat more healthily or veg I do me and everyone else.

YANBU. If he's meal planning and cooking anyway, why can't he do it for everyone? As you say, why should it always be YOUR task?

Agree. When I do Keto or similar I make sure it's easily adapted for everyone else. So no risottos / paella / pasta bake but pretty much everything else on most diets can be made family friendly.

Be prepared when it arrives for him to act like he actually hunted for that food and be amazed when he keeps reminding you of the great deals he got etc etc 😂🙄

Why should you end up with carrying his slack? Good for you.

Yanbu. Sounds like he uses 'healthy eating' as a way to opt of being involved with the food shop, planning and cooking.

Yeah, he's doing this for two reasons... 1, he does want to diet and the family meals will include junk for the kids, desserts, fried food etc... 2, he wants an easier life. Cooking one item (like a steak) with asparagus, is ten times easier than a meal for a family.

I'm that respect, I see both sides, as it's very hard to lose weight on a traditional family mealplan, but him not cooking for everyone is taking the piss because he can't just pull back on helping until he's thin. This is why he doesn't want to cook healthy for everyone... he'd be taking back on the work he's trying to palm off to you.

@KeepOnSwim I know, 2 hours to come up with 5 meals 😂

I’m more disgusted that he thinks it’s ok to eat steak and asparagus and serve his children nuggets and chips. What a revolting, selfish pig.

Everyone can eat the same, the children and you can just add carbs as an extra side. Get him to do it all.

he sees no problem with serving himself steak and asparagus while he serves up chicken nuggets and chips for the kids if I am not there.)

What a selfish bellend.

And YABVVVU for doing all the meal planning for the past 16 years. That should be shared (or your h does an equivalent task).

So he has been to the shops, and he’s done ok for today (we were out last night, so no meal prep needed,) and we are having roast chicken tonight with a big plate of veggies and Yorkshire puddings for the kids too. Will see how long he manages to keep this up! Kids are 13 and 16 for those asking.