To think you can’t entertain teens ?

Createausername1970 · 28/10/2023 10:11

Yes.

In my case, my teen was a bit off the rails at one point, self harming, smoking weed etc. So a day spent indoors xboxing was a good day as far as I was concerned.

I spent a lot of my teens lying on my bed reading Jackie and similar. So being solitary on occasions was quite normal for me, and I enjoyed it.

The difference is that I was reading about David Essex and Donny Osmond, whereas the stuff teens can access on their phones is entirely different.

So for me it's not the inactivity that would worry me, it's what they were doing. Gaming all day would be fine.

crumblingschools · 28/10/2023 10:12

What does he do with them?

Wolfen · 28/10/2023 10:15

I do nag them to get homework done and help out with chores. Then I ask them if they haven't got anything better to do.
They don't usually spend a whole day on screens but yeah, some days they're on them a lot.

VickyEadieofThigh · 28/10/2023 10:15

Irelandscaul · 28/10/2023 10:01

Usually have busy, active enough teens but when they are hanging around the house, it tends to be on screens and I don’t tend to try and make them busy. Screens are taken at night but am I unreasonable to just leave them be. DH thinks I am and that I should be doing things to make them busy - and yes I have noted that he could do the same.

Do you sometimes just let your teens do nothing and watch screens for a day

But why isn't HE doing things with them?

Fifteenth · 28/10/2023 10:16

Mine work hard during the week and are tired. At the weekend and in the holidays I let them do whatever they like.

Sometimes they meet friends. Sometimes they chat to friends on phones. Sometimes the watch YouTube, tv or game. They like to come to the shop and choose what we eat. Sometimes they cook.

I feel lucky that they work hard. I wouldn’t be able to make them.

Hbradley · 28/10/2023 10:16

Yes. I do the same. No phone upstairs at night but not a lot else to get him interested to do anything else. Sometimes he goes into city with his dad (food and shopping involved) but if at home screens. He will join in if we play cards / watch football / film but other that screen wins. It’s a bit depressing to watch teens so addicted but it gets to stage when you can’t coax them off all the time (

Sparehair · 28/10/2023 10:18

Caveat: mine Is a young teen and I do think it’s easier at that age. I don’t entertain them but at the same time I don’t allow whole days on screens. They just need to find something else to do.

Comedycook · 28/10/2023 10:19

It's really difficult.

My ds is very sporty...so it's either sports or screens. It's not practical to be doing sport all day every day so I put up with the screen time. When he was little I was pretty strict with it though. He has weights so sometimes does that when he's at home.

My dd has always enjoyed activities you can do at home like baking, crafts and reading. So she usually keeps herself busy and is not on screens so much.

I think it's much more difficult with boys

Dulra · 28/10/2023 10:20

I'm at this stage too. I've 3 girls 16, 13, 11. Youngest still plays Barbie's and out on the road with pals older two when at home it's on screens. They do sports so evening training and weekend matches but when at home they are in their rooms on their phones. If I feel they've had a pretty lazy day I'll encourage one to come for a walk with me, we live near mountain trails so this is always a good option. We also take their screens at night but this is becoming more of a battle with my 16 year old. I think they are on screens way too much but I also don't want to be constantly arguing with them about it either. We have an app that shows their usage and I will from time to time highlight how long they've been on a particular app (tic toc) and do they think that's been a productive day.

In regards to your dh if he's so worried he should do something about it. Teens can be exhausting young kids are busy in your house, teens are busy in your head!

MyBlueDiary · 28/10/2023 10:20

Nothing wrong with the odd day doing nothing.

Also, getting them to do more doesn’t have to mean entertaining them- today my teen DS is doing his Saturday job in the morning, going to a football match in the afternoon and a party in the evening- busy all day and I haven’t done a thing.

Original poster

Irelandscaul · 28/10/2023 10:25

Yes, like many of the replies, I hate the screen time but what can you do? 🤷‍♀️

Might give them money for a hot choc later and that might coax them out of the house.

DH is a royal pain re teens doing nothing. He was apparently always busy so hates watching them lolling around - I told him to go out so

OP posts:

HelpMeGetThrough · 28/10/2023 10:26

Still have one teen (16) and the other now 21. Teens get to an age, where they have to "entertain" themselves.

Back years ago (80s) when home computers were starting to be a thing, I'd spend days in front of it. wasn't playing many games, but teaching myself how to write my own programs. My parents didn't know this.

Glad my parents didn't stop me, as I turned out to be bloody good at it, became a "back bedroom games programmer" getting games published and software development became my career.

Dulra · 28/10/2023 10:41

Irelandscaul · 28/10/2023 10:25

Yes, like many of the replies, I hate the screen time but what can you do? 🤷‍♀️

Might give them money for a hot choc later and that might coax them out of the house.

DH is a royal pain re teens doing nothing. He was apparently always busy so hates watching them lolling around - I told him to go out so

My dh is the same, he grew up on a farm so goes on about how he was up at the crack of dawn milking cows as a teen I remind him though that he was also getting drunk in his local pub most Friday and Saturday nights at their age 🙄

I am late 40s so grew up mainly without computers and games consoles but do remember losing hours of my life constantly glued to MTV. The one big difference though is we had to physically go out to see/ hang out with our friends so there was always that incentive to get out of the house. Now they can chat with their friends without leaving their bedroom

WestwardHo1 · 28/10/2023 10:53

I think this obsession with entertaining kids is a new thing isn't it? If I complained of boredom as a kid/teen my would say "only boring people are bored" or similar. We lived in a small village and I did A LOT of reading!

MrsSkylerWhite · 28/10/2023 10:54

How old are they?

BarbedButterfly · 28/10/2023 10:55

I spent all my time lying around reading so just wouldn't care about this

HelpMeGetThrough · 28/10/2023 10:56

I think this obsession with entertaining kids is a new thing isn't it?

I think it is. If I ever said to my parents "I'm bored", they'd tell me to find something to do.

Didn't do me any harm, or damage me for life.

Beamur · 28/10/2023 10:58

I might ask DD to do some ironing or come on a walk with me but I mostly leave her to amuse herself at the weekend. She needs some quiet time to relax and unwind. If that includes screens that's ok, but she also spends time drawing (although sometimes that's on a screen too!)

looking4pup · 28/10/2023 10:59

My mum never entertained us at home. She didn't watch films with us, bake, play games.

Mine are 11 and 13. The 13 year old occasionally asks to watch things with me and will sometimes paint or cook but she gets fed up half way through.

orangeclubsarebest · 28/10/2023 11:00

I don't entertain my teens. I have a younger child so if he's doing something like baking or whatever we will ask if they want to get involved and often they will. But generally they are out with friends or my parents eldest has his girlfriend over. If they are lounging at home I think it's nice they are relaxing and having some down time.

NancyJoan · 28/10/2023 11:04

I hate the screen addiction too, but they are not doing nothing, any more than I was when I read books for hours at a time as a teen. They are socialising, reading and entertaining themselves. Your DH needs to come up with some concrete ideas, that they will actually engage with, if he wants to force a change.

theprincessthepea · 28/10/2023 11:05

I’m finding this challenging.

As children they don’t mind hanging out with us.

m when they become teens friends replace this. I’m trying to think of more ways to have my DD do things with friends so we might plan the odd day out - free museum events that link to their interests, walks - even if it’s forced (and a milkshake is promised every now and then). Sometimes we do homework together but I try to use it as a chance to also learn about what she is doing at school.

If they had a choice I’m sure they would be on TVs and phones all day long.

BrieAndChilli · 28/10/2023 11:11

I don’t entertain my teens.

they are all doing well at school so I know they keep up with homework and revision etc.
DS1 16 has ASD so is not in any way social. He spends his time looking at maps and things or watching sci-fi. He does go hiking or climbing with DH sometimes but there’s no point trying to force him to do stuff he doesn’t want to do.
DD 15 is constantly sewing or crafting or baking and she cooks dinner some nights for us all. She goes out with friends to concerts or pottery painting etc so infeel
she has a good balance.
DS2 13 will spend every waking moment on the computer. But he does spend a lot of the time chatting with friends either on phone loudspeaker or through a game. He also still likes to build Lego.

it is a totally different lifestyle to when we were young - especially those of us who didn’t really have internet to the same degree as it is now and certainly no mobile phones. We had to go ‘hang out’ which also included cider and 20/20 down the park!

Flamingogirl08 · 28/10/2023 11:12

I'd they're busy enough then I can't see the problem with a bit of downtime using screens tbh.

I don't know whether it's just a MN thing but this obsession with kids always having to be doing something is strange. Even when I was a kid, I would be in bed reading, on a game boy or monopolising the TV to watch MTV or something!

Florabundance · 28/10/2023 11:13

I never recall either of my parents 'entertaining' my sister or I, we were considered old enough to engage in our own activities, we lived in the country, out of walking distance from shops and recreational facilities, I used to love reading and copying costume drawings from books in pen and ink, also in summer I would pick fruit from our garden and stew it for the freezer and later on I took to baking and trying out simple recipes and taking the dog for long walks...all sorts really, I never recall being bored, there was no technology as such in the seventies though so we weren't accustomed to constant mental stimulation the way young people are now.