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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have a nut allergy and colleague eating nuts in office.

466 replies

Yewdontknowme · 28/10/2023 02:29

I’ve been working with this company since June. It’s with a small company with two open plan rooms in the same building. There is no HR department just the owners and the general manager and supervisors. One room is nut free as myself and an intern are severely allergic, the other room is ok for nuts. We never have to go into the other office. We are allocated space based on what we do within the company and wfh isn’t an option. For the past few months everything has been great.

A supervisor has returned to our office this past fortnight after maternity leave. It seems she is really popular among the other women in the office. She has ignored all the signs and warnings and has been eating nuts at her workstation, which is making me wheeze and my throat and mouth are itching until I get away home. I’m working dosed up on piriton and with fingers crossed I don’t need to use my epipen.

Our manager is a bit of a coward so has been trying to deal with this woman calmly including offering her a space in the other room but she’s refusing to swap rooms as she wants to be with her friends and likes the bigger workspace she has. She is claiming it’s discriminating against her as a returning mother and a vegetarian and so she will continue to eat what she wants, as in her words “they’re not eating the nuts themselves so they’ll be ok”. For what it’s worth I too am a vegetarian. She also told us to get epipens. Myself and the intern can’t go into the other room as the work in there is totally different to what we do. We need the facilities in this space. Our manager has told us we need to sort it out among ourselves.

I appreciate this is a management problem but what am I supposed to do in the meantime? I’m still on probation and this woman is a long standing staff member. It took me a long time to find this job after redundancy in lockdown and I’m terrified I’ll be laid off after my probationary period runs out because of the drama this causes. I can start looking for another job but I fear it will take me over a year again.

AIBU to expect the manager to deal with this woman instead of having to sort out a ‘compromise’ myself?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
Littlegoth · 28/10/2023 08:33

PegasusReturns · 28/10/2023 07:58

What’s with the idiots gaslighting OP that she doesn’t have an allergy to airborne nuts?!

• OP presumably understands her condition

• Rare doesn’t equal non existent

• Her reactions started when her obnoxious colleague returned to work

• Her reactions actually coincide with her colleague eating nuts

• Nuts and peanuts are not the same

FFS

Edited

Exactly, it just shows what we are up against. I have 2 children who are allergic to multiple nuts. They don’t have airborne allergies but my smallest is just a few weeks old so doesn't eat nuts - her reaction came from someone who handled nuts before touching her - knowing we have an older kid who carries an epipen for the same fucking allergy.

The posts on this thread just highlight that people either don’t take allergies seriously, or don’t care - and it fucking terrifies me. I have no idea why people with absolutely no expertise think OP is not allergic to the thing she is seriously allergic to.

pumpykins · 28/10/2023 08:36

She is a massive dick

FUPAgirl · 28/10/2023 08:37

This thread is horrible, so many patronising people who understand op's allergy better than her, apparently.

I personally find it pathetic that grown adults have to sit munching at their desk. There really needs to be a no food at desks policy here. But this woman is so selfish and entitled she clearly couldn't possibly agree to that.

OP you need to immediately discuss this with the whole office - explain that unfortunately due to nuts now being eaten in the room, you have been experiencing symptoms. Show everyone where your epi-pen is kept and how to use it - if you haven't already. I doubt it will shame this horrible woman into being less selfish, but at least it will help to keep you safe in an emergency.

Speak to the manager again and say you will need to go home every time you become symptomatic, ask about home working. They need to understand how serious this is.

bruffin · 28/10/2023 08:38

BorisIsACuntWaffle · 28/10/2023 07:53

@bruffin you will note op states "nuts" not peanuts
Peanuts are not treenuts, they are legumes.

If someone ate for example walnuts, and breathed near me I'd react.
Luckily my office mate isn't an arse hole so doesn't bring any to work. FFS.

I know , my ds 27 is allergic to treenuts and sesame seeds, but the mechanism is the same.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 28/10/2023 08:39

Your employer has a duty under the health and safety at work act to ensure a safe working environment. If they don't do this then they are breaking the law. I'd do some googling on this and point it out.

Smorgs · 28/10/2023 08:40

I've just spent a day in hospital with my son having his peanut allergy tested to we can draw up a protocol for school, clubs etc.
An allergic reaction is classed as moderate if it's a skin reaction and severe if it's affecting your breathing.
You are having a severe allergic reaction due to her eating nuts. You have notified work of your medical need to not have nuts in the office and they are not fulfilling their duty to provide you with a safe workplace. It shouldn't matter if you are still in your probation period, they are in the wrong.
As others have advised, I would get a letter from a doctor explaining your condition and inform them that you can no longer come into work if this is not resolved. Keep it simple and factual and be calmly assertive. Good luck, sorry you're going through this. Some people are bafflingly selfish.

femfemlicious · 28/10/2023 08:40

Wow that woman is really wicked!. Why insist on eating nuts at work.

SqueakyDinosaur · 28/10/2023 08:44

Just jumping in to agree with all the people who've said keep a paper trail. Also, please please make sure that you've emailed any correspondence about this to your own non-work email address.

And I would say every time you have any sort of reaction, email your manager and ask them to speak to Little Miss Selfish. And obviously bcc your private email address as per previous point. Don't just think there's no point as manager won't do it- keep asking in writing. If manager has any shred of brainpower, they'll realise that a written, timestamped request is evidence.

SirVixofVixHall · 28/10/2023 08:44

NeverDropYourMooncup · 28/10/2023 04:38

You also need a paper trail. Put things in writing/email, rather than accept things verbally. You need to have records of this woman's actions, her awareness of what she is doing and your employer's helplessness.

Agree with this.
What a selfish, callous and idiotic person she is. The whole plethora of foodstuffs to choose from and she has to have the one item that could kill or hospitalise a colleague!

PegasusReturns · 28/10/2023 08:45

@bruffin what is your point?

are you suggesting the OP is lying?

or can you accept that rare as it is some people are allergic to airborne OR when someone eats nuts they touch stuff that the OP then touches and this could cause a problem?

TTCnewbies · 28/10/2023 08:46

FloofCloud · 28/10/2023 02:40

Ok, first of all is this a 'proper allergy?' ... assuming it is then you need to get the management more involved. Yes eat nuts but not in work... easy enough!
Failing that can they give you a job where you can WFH, albeit it may mean a different role, but twlll them it's a real allergy and you need support or alternative working environment for yourself

What do you mean is this a 'proper alergy'
Op said they carry an epi pen..of course it's a proper allergy.

Theokaycokey · 28/10/2023 08:46

Can you get signed off sick by your Dr until the issue is resolved? That way it will become your managers problem. The woman clearly thinks it's not an issue because you are masking your symptoms with piriton.
You might want to email your manager too pointing out his duty of care and what legal action could fall upon the company should you come to serious harm.

cultureplanet · 28/10/2023 08:48

On thing to consider op is that you are very very unlikely to find another office where they can effectively dedicate your office space to being nut free

FlamingoQueen · 28/10/2023 08:49

Your manager is a giant arsehole. On page 1 someone has posted copies of guidance and I would email them to your manager along with the article about the lady from This Morning and just say ‘imagine your legal bill!!’.
If he is still spineless, ring the Health & Safety people and ask for their advice. Keep all correspondence and log everything you do. It may come in handy (sadly) later.
It may also be worth saying to the idiot member of staff who has come back from mat leave - I hope your dc doesn’t grow up with a nut allergy, because in 20 years time you could be wishing you’d never made the decisions that you’re making now.
Good luck and I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with this.

WrongSwanson · 28/10/2023 08:50

cultureplanet · 28/10/2023 08:48

On thing to consider op is that you are very very unlikely to find another office where they can effectively dedicate your office space to being nut free

Most people aren't constantly troughing on nuts at work though.

This colleague of ops is either insanely greedy or a deliberate bully

cultureplanet · 28/10/2023 08:51

Your previous job op- was it open plan?

bruffin · 28/10/2023 08:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

cultureplanet · 28/10/2023 08:51

WrongSwanson · 28/10/2023 08:50

Most people aren't constantly troughing on nuts at work though.

This colleague of ops is either insanely greedy or a deliberate bully

Show quote history

I work in a large open plan office

nuts are eaten… a lot.

Imagwine · 28/10/2023 08:52

As others have advised, I would get a letter from a doctor explaining your condition and inform them that you can no longer come into work if this is not resolved. Keep it simple and factual and be calmly assertive.

And it would be constructive dismissal if they don’t keep you on.

cultureplanet · 28/10/2023 08:52

Whether a snack pack of nuts
nuts in breakfast muesli
fruit and nut bars
nuts in cakes

I could go on

DaftyInTheMiddle · 28/10/2023 08:53

If she’s eating nuts at her desk, she won’t have any mechanism to wash her hands. She’s getting particulate all over the office by means of touch. OP AND the Intern who are both ill simply wouldn’t be affected by this if there was no mechanism for the spread. It doesn’t matter how this is happening but it is, it’s a simple compromise not to shovel nuts into her gullet at her desk, yet she’s the type of cunt to put her own wants before someone’s needs.

Speak to ACAS. A reasonable compromise (which you had prior to nutgut starting) needs to be reached before you end up seriously ill.

Autumnalvibesofmellowness · 28/10/2023 08:53

araiwa · 28/10/2023 03:18

I can't believe that your colleague could be so obnoxious nor that you can be so spineless

What a horrible comment. She's not being spineless. She's being bullied

cultureplanet · 28/10/2023 08:54

Op - when you were in discussions before starting the role - did you make clear that your were dependent on being on in a nut free office and they confirmed that they would always be able to accommodate this?

satellitesunshine · 28/10/2023 08:55

i also have a severe nut allergy. quite honestly if i were you everytime she ate nuts id walk out and say i need to seek medical help. they’ll sort it out eventually if you make a bigger deal of it