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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop breastfeeding because of this?

51 replies

Octoo · 27/10/2023 21:56

Currently breastfeeding DS2 who is now 5 months old. Since the birth I have lost a lot of weight (15kg) so that I am now at the very low end of a healthy BMI.
I feel like I can't discuss this with people in real life because they think I'm bragging about the rapid postpartum weight loss but quite frankly I look dreadful! I don't look (or feel) healthy at all.

Have had bloods done and everything is perfectly within range. Have any other mums gone through this and have any tips? Did you continue breastfeeding?
I know the obvious answer is to increase calorie intake but I am eating loads already. Breastfeeding is going so smoothly otherwise but I'm now starting to consider stopping at 6 months. Feeling guilty because I breastfed for much longer with DS1.

AIBU to consider stopping breastfeeding when health seems to be fine and the only issue is weight loss?

OP posts:
ZombieBoob · 27/10/2023 21:59

Are you going to be starting weaning at 6 months? Your supply will drop naturally when they start eating more solids so you'll use less calories then. Might be something to think about.

Cuptowelmat · 27/10/2023 22:02

That seems to be a big weight loss from breastfeeding alone. It burns calories but 15kg is a lot of calories burned.. and some women don’t lose weight: I for example retained it until I stopped BF.

Any other symptoms? Could it be unrelated to the BF?

takealettermsjones · 27/10/2023 22:02

I am also BFing five month old DS! 👋

Could you try increasing calories in "invisible" ways, so e.g. rather than eating more food, maybe use extra butter/cream in sauces, drink fruit juice and smoothies, have full fat versions of everything etc.

Notsuredontknow · 27/10/2023 22:04

I personally wouldn’t stop for that reason, I don’t think. I’m sure you already know this but you’re so lucky to have a good bf experience; I didn’t with my first but did with my second so I know first hand what a huge difference it makes when feeding is going smoothly! Do you feel unhealthy because of the weight loss or just because you’ve got a 5mo?! And I know you’re saying you’re eating lots but is it the right stuff? You need really high calorie healthy breakfasts, lunches and dinners, lots of carbs and good fats. Snack as much as you like in between. Drink milky coffees if you like them, milkshakes and smoothies too? It’s tough because obviously how you feel is incredibly important so if it’s really getting you down then yes, the right thing to do is stop or at least combi feed. But if it’s purely based on how you look I think I’d just ride it out and layer up in jumpers for the winter!

TomatoSandwiches · 27/10/2023 22:04

What do you eat in an average day op?
You may be eating lots (volume)but not actually calorie dense foods.

Everydayimhuffling · 27/10/2023 22:06

When you start weaning and they start getting calories from elsewhere, there will be a change anyway. I would see what happens at that point. There's no need to make an immediate decision.

SylvieLaufeydottir · 27/10/2023 22:06

You can do whatever you feel you need to do for your body and your health.

That said, you are really really close to solids being introduced, which will reduce the pressure on you. I would probably buckle in for another month and eat as much cake and enriched smoothies as possible. But it's your decision.

Girasoli · 27/10/2023 22:07

This happened to me with DS1 (not 15kg but I got right to the bottom of the healthy BMI as well).

In my case I carried on breastfeeding because he ended up having allergies when he was weaning (all grown out of now) so at least I knew the breastmilk was safe for him.
I was still breastfeeding when I conceived DS2 so I was probably fine health wise, just skinny.

Having said that, if you feel it'd be better for you to stop, you shouldn't feel guilty, your health matters too.

unvillage · 27/10/2023 22:07

Make sure you're adding calories when you can, full fat everything! Nuts are great snacky sources of fat and protein. If it's right for you to stop, then stop.

ReluctantFishLady · 27/10/2023 22:10

You can stop breastfeeding for any reason if its not working for you, but this particular issue sounds like there would be an obvious fix that would allow you to continue.

15kg is a lot to lose, I think I would go and get checked out with the GP to see if there are any other issues. But certainly have a look at diet and make some changes.

DrJump · 27/10/2023 22:16

If you want to atop breastfeeding you can stop. If you want to keep breastfeeding you can find away to maintain your weight. If you want to continue breastfeeding then seeing a dietitian might be a good idea.

peskykiddds · 27/10/2023 22:23

I had this issue, I wasn't eating enough protein! It got better post weaning as well. Bf until nearly 4yo.

HappiDaze · 27/10/2023 22:28

If you want to stop BF then stop BF

It's absolutely fine to decide what works best fir you and your life

tolerable · 27/10/2023 22:31

i did this with ds1. i had to eat porridge 3Xa day, and breakfast lunch dinner too. to even remain at 61\2 stone. we stopped bf at a year.YOU DO what is right for you and baby. x

1990thatsme · 27/10/2023 22:34

Yes I had this, and just had to up my calories as breastfeeding makes the pounds drop off me. I have EBF all three of mine for around 14 months.

I ate a lot of cake and carbs!! I’m back up to a size ten since I stopped feeding my youngest about four months ago.

Zippedydoodahday · 27/10/2023 22:38

I had similar and had to eat an awful lot of cake plus good fats like avocado, nuts, seeds etc. I found it started to get better past six months and got better the more solids baby was having. I'm glad I didn't stop as it was such a useful tool and saw us through all sorts of illnesses and upsets.

Original poster
Octoo · 27/10/2023 22:39

Thank you so much for these replies! 😊
We have started weaning very slowly with some purees (non UK) and will switch to BLW around 6 months. I think I'll stick it out until then and see if that makes a difference.
Food wise: absolutely zero low fat in our household 😂 I have a 3 year old DS that I eat lunch and dinner with so always meat/fish + carbs and veggies. I've never been a breakfast lover (coffee and biscuits normally ) so could definitely make an effort to improve that.
I saw the GP last week as I found a lump - convinced myself the two things were related but it turned out to be a cyst. Have had thyroid checked and nothing amiss there either. I do have other symptoms going on (hair loss, tiredness) but I'm pretty satisfied this is just the joys of postpartum and life with a baby and a toddler!
Feeling better now I've been reminded it's almost winter so I can hide in baggy jumpers. I'm definitely looking skinny rather than slim and my veins are really visible! On the other hand the little guy is at the very top weight centile and the paediatrician is eager for him to get moving and slim down a bit 😂

OP posts:
Carolenarua · 27/10/2023 22:41

This happened me too. I felt awful, clothes hanging off me but others didn't notice so must not have been dramatic. I stopped bf at 13 months, I was back at work so was going to stop anyway around then anyway. Eat more and if you can't, aim to stop in month or 2. Stop slowly as can hurt otherwise I heard. By the time I stopped she wasn't feeding much anyway but I was delighted to get my body back !

Missscarletintheconservatory · 27/10/2023 22:41

I lost quite a bit of weight when breastfeeding, one question is are you very much lighter than your pre pregnancy weight (you lost 15kg bit not sure how much you put on with pregnancy).

As others have said maybe see how things go with the introduction of solids.

For me personally on its own it would not be a reason to stop breastfeeding but I do still have a much bigger appetite than ever in my life and my baby is over 18 months. I’m a few kilos lighter than pre pregnancy but think I’m a normal BMI.

WhatInTheFuckery · 27/10/2023 22:41

I'm the same, I've lost around 12kg since pre pregnancy weight, I'm still BF 18 month old DD and the weight has steadied but I'm not gaining anything, I lost the babyweight quite quick anyway both times but BF has just made it worse I think. I've gone down a full dress size and even those are hanging off me a bit! I feel awful for it. Everyone used to say and sometimes still does 'how have you had 2 babies, theres nothing on you, you dont look like youve just had a baby'.. no, but I wish I bloody did!

HungryandIknowit · 27/10/2023 22:42

I lost weight and don't think I looked great but not 15kg. Gradually put it back on though as they took less milk. You are currently at peak milk production - it will reduce soon! Echo what others say on calories - you need calorie dense food. Butter, cheese, whole milk, sugar, and other carbs are your friends.

Notsuredontknow · 27/10/2023 22:42

Ah, OP it sounds like he loves his grub! If he’s anything like my DS hopefully he will love his solids just as much and you will see him weaning very easily! I’m glad to hear all was clear at the docs, that must have been a horrible fright. Get thinking up some delicious breakfast recipes and before you know it it’ll be time for mince pies all day everyday too!

Youlooklikemynextmistake · 27/10/2023 22:44

Try adding extra protein to your diet. I started drinking protein shakes when I was BF DC3 and the difference in how I felt and looked compared to when I was breastfeeding DC2 was really really noticeable.

warmmfeet · 27/10/2023 22:47

Sometimes you can get a hyperactive thyroid after giving birth and lose a lot of weight. I remember reading about this - could be worth checking with the GP, as if that's the cause it needs treating with medication to get back to normal.

Mariposista · 27/10/2023 22:47

You can stop BF for whatever reason you want to.
15 kg is a worrying weight loss. Please focus on yourself here. You will be back at work soon, and caring for two young children and you need to be healthy. And it’s approaching winter too - you need a healthy constitution.