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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to go to BIL'S wedding in Cyprus?

37 replies

littlemrsmiss · 09/03/2008 21:07

It's next August. My youngest child will be 2 and I am woried about the temperatures out there mid summer and how he will cope in the heat (not to mention the flight). There are four in my family and we really do not have the money to spend (it is in a 5 star resort).

We do not know what to do as we do not want to offend them by not going?

OP posts:

rookiemater · 10/03/2008 21:57

Littlemrsmiss, can you investigate the likely cost ?

Should only take you about half an hour on the internet, do it with staying at the actual resort, and staying near by. Then you know exactly what you are talking about cost wise.

DarrellRivers, I disagree. Yes he is Dhs brother, but they chose to get married abroad at a 5 star resort. It doesn't show much consideration for BILs nearest and dearest unless he proposes paying for everyone.

For me family means being there for the things that matter, but also putting your own children first. I'd much rather have a lovely week in a self catering cottage in the UK and have money to buy treats and pay the mortgage, rather than lugging them needlessly to a very hot destination at the most expensive time of year for no apparent reason, other than the couple who are getting marrieds own desire to save a few quid by doing it abroad.

Theochris · 10/03/2008 22:05

Does your DH want to go?
Would you want to go if it was your side of the family?
Like I said I sympathise. If you really can't afford it, then say so, no-one would mind that. However if you don't want to afford it, it's rather a different story. As an aside we can afford the trip to Brazil, though obviously no other hol, and a few sacrifices through the year, but a sibling is close family no matter how unreasonable you think the request is.

Original poster

littlemrsmiss · 10/03/2008 22:12

I've already done a check on the resort direct prices and flights separately and it came to approx £2500. Not sure how much it would be to stay in another hotel nearby. They all seem to be the same amount.

I would not want to take my DC's to a dicey cheaper hotel or dodgy self catering place (I know some are nice, but have no idea which as no one I know has been to Cyprus) as we don't want to spend money and come back after having a disappointing holiday. We have not had a holiday abroard for as long as I can remember and were hoping to save until we could go somewhere really nice. Before we had the DC's we would stay anywhere with a roof and toilet but we are really concerned about cleanliness and safety now we have the DC's

OP posts:

canofworms · 10/03/2008 22:16

I have to say, the cheaper apartments that i posted about definitely aren't dicey or dodgy! I've had family stay there and as I said my dad lives there and knows where to recommend. You don't have to spend that amount!!!!

Original poster

littlemrsmiss · 10/03/2008 22:17

Theochris, yes we want to go. Perhaps we are being selfish thinking of what WE want from a holiday, rather than BIL's wedding.

I would hate to cause an argument in the family. I do seem to spend half my time not treading on peoples toes

OP posts:

rookiemater · 10/03/2008 22:19

Oh Littlemrsmiss, that is such a lot of money. I must say I couldn't do it, I'd just be so eaten up by resentment that I would have a face like I'd sooked a lemon and would make sarky comments all week.

You really sound like you do not want the family to go, does your DH, and if not will he be swayed by your BIL ?

canofworms · 10/03/2008 22:26

I have to say - if somebody had told me of a cheaper way to get to step-brothers wedding a couple of years ago I would have bitten their hand off as I really wanted to go. You've completely ignored my posts as to how to get cheaper flights and accomodation so i think you don't really want to go full stop.....

Original poster

littlemrsmiss · 11/03/2008 13:07

conofworms I have not been ignoring your posts. I have just spent the last hour on the internet looking up self catering appartments. Yes there are cheaper options near to the resort. I have yet to look up flights which I am just about to do. I will obviously then have to add on money for food and other expenses

OP posts:

smurfgirl · 11/03/2008 13:42

I think the cheaper apartments in Cyprus tend just to be less luxurious - still clean just less fancy which is ok I think. Check trip advisor and you should be fine.

Are they marrying in a big resort?

mrsdannydyer · 11/03/2008 13:57

cyprus ? in august? thats madness with small kids

what is it with weddings these days.
there so over the top.

if you can not afford it, you cannot afford it. simple.

catsmother · 11/03/2008 15:37

We've nearly always stayed in the "cheaper" if not the cheapest self catering apartments in Cyprus, and they've been fine in so far that we've been out most of the day. However, cheaper does not necessarily mean cheap ..... it's all relative isn't it, compared to how much free cash you have and how much you personally think is an acceptable amount to spend on a trip which you wouldn't normally choose to go to.

I adore Cyprus but nonetheless if invited to a wedding there when I didn't have "spare" money, I simply wouldn't be able to go. Obviously, some people would feel comfortable putting it on a credit card or getting a loan, but that's entirely up to you - and, if you know deep down that you feel uncomfortable about the outlay, then you might find it hard to enjoy the trip at all, and certainly enjoy it less than an alternative holiday arranged where you want and when you want, without any coercion or considerations of "duty".

If you do decide to go, then feel free to ask about particular resorts. I'm sure various MNers can recommend particular resorts, apartments & restaurants etc.

lounan · 11/03/2008 15:59

My I ask where abouts the wedding is in Cyprus, Maybe I can help with accomadation as my parents live in cyprus.

I must admit we got married in cyprus in middle of june and had a 2yr old at the time and we could just about bare the heat then.
I does work out cheaper to wed there,alot of our family couldn't come but it was our dission to get married abroad, so maybe your BIL won't be that disappointed if you didn't go.

We never go in aug as it is unbearable have been many years ago and never again, especially now with a baby as well.They must be mad to wed at that time of the year

I guess you need to weigh up if you really want to be at the wedding ? cause if you really do then you can defo get there for cheaper then £2500.

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