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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To like a drink

15 replies

Foodorder · 27/10/2023 19:41

I don't think I drink too much or have a problem, but I do enjoy a drink and the warm fuzzy feeling, the reduced inhibitions.

There's nothing I like more than the putting the world to rights conversation you have when everyone's slightly tipsy.

DS (adult) told me something really important that he'd obviously been struggling with, after a cider. He wasn't drunk, but it helped.

I've cooked dinner tonight and really enjoyed doing it with R4 comedy and a glass of wine, then the conversation over dinner flows so much more easily. Maybe it shouldn't but there we are.

I never drink during the week, but I enjoy a few glasses of wine or beer at the weekend. Occasionally getting messy when out with friends. I don't "need" it, but it does add something to my life.

OP posts:

HomeatRoseCottage · 27/10/2023 19:43

I think your habits sound fine and moderate. It can be a cause of great anti-sociability and is obviously a problem / misery to a lot of people, but for many others it’s just part of the rich tapestry of life which includes many enjoyable things that aren’t terribly good for you but are fun.

It doesn’t sound like you have a problem with it at all, I wouldn’t worry about it.

SaltySeaCat · 27/10/2023 19:46

You need to watch out that your tolerance doesn’t increase. I was like you and enjoyed alcohol at the weekend. When my elderly parents became ill and died I coped by drinking more; easily done as alcohol is very addictive. I’ve now given it up completely thankfully.

MidnightOnceMore · 27/10/2023 19:46

If you need it to lose inhibitions, I think that's unhealthy.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/10/2023 19:48

Very similar to you. I am aware that stress or time could turn something benign into something not. So I do Dry Jan and Sober 'Tober every year to show it's easy to myself.

Just a check in.

I used to work in treatment though so I'm probably a bit overly paranoid!

KajsaKavat · 27/10/2023 22:44

Having grown up in an alcoholic family I feel differently about this, people change totally when sticking, even when they’re just tipsy. I would say to look for something healthier to relax you.

user1471434829 · 27/10/2023 22:48

You're absolutely fine! Humans have vices mostly. If you weigh 20 stone, smoke 20 a day and drink a lot you need to make some changes. But if you eat fairly well, exercise, don't smoke and you like a wine I wouldn't worry!

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/10/2023 22:51

I'm like you: I have always found conversation flows more easily, its more fun setting the world to rights, etc, with a drink. I completely recognise this.

I come from a family of drinkers (my dad was a borderline alcoholic) and alcohol was very central to my life as a young adult. It was always synonymous with having fun for me. I don't think I've ever tipped into having an alcohol dependency but I definitely drank more than was good for me when I was younger. As I've got older and my body has aged, and as I have a child and a demanding job, it simply isn't feasible for me to drink the way I used to when I was younger so I drink probably once a week and am now well within the healthy drinking guidelines. But I think if I hadn't had those things to anchor me I could quite easily have ended up having a problem with drink.

It sounds to me like you're just the right side of the line but I think you do have to watch it. I think enjoying alcohol and looking forward to it are fine provided you have other ways to have fun and you don't use it as a social crutch. I would just be a bit self-aware about it and make sure there is space in your life for non alcoholic joy.

Vettrianofan · 28/10/2023 07:04

I find sleep teabags are a real treat in the evenings. My arthritis is worse after drinking alcohol. A shandy is about as good as it gets.

It doesn't sound like you have a problem but if it creeps up that might be something to think about.

Finestreason · 28/10/2023 07:10

Hmmmmm. Ok.

renthead · 28/10/2023 07:23

The responses to this are ridiculous. I'm the child of an alcoholic, so very sensitive to over drinking, but the OP is describing completely bog standard, normal drinking behaviour, and being warned to watch out that she doesn't turn into an alcoholic because she likes the way it makes her feel? Everyone who drinks does it partly for the reduced inhibitions and social lubricant effect; that's basically the entire point of the drug. It's not because "you enjoy the taste", that's just a side benefit.

Ilovelurchers · 28/10/2023 07:32

I used to have a drink problem and I am two years sober now, so if anything I have heightened sensitivity to drinking, but what you describe OP is of course fine. Not drinking in the week, only having a glass or two at weekends - who could object to this?

The "getting messy" bit is also fine if it's very occasional and providing it doesn't lead you to behaviours that hurt you/others, like infidelity/excessive flirting; spending money the family can't afford/ obnoxious and rude to family and friends/ unable to fulfill work and other responsibilities next day.

If none of these are the case, then crack on - why wouldn't you?

I don't really miss drinking but occasionally when I am in the supermarket and see a bottle of a drink I would genuinely have enjoyed (not just drunk for the alcohol content) like Bailey's or something, I wish I had been able to drink "like a normal person". But there are alcoholic genes in my family and it wasn't to be.

I do think it's common for people to think their drinking is fine when it's actually excessive - drinking most nights etc. For ages I insisted I did not have a problem because I only drank in the evening, always fine for work, successful career etc..... But OP does not sound like this - she sounds genuinely fine.

Out of interest,and not being snarky, what prompted the thread, OP?

Loopytiles · 28/10/2023 07:38

how many units a week do you drink?

margotrose · 28/10/2023 07:40

MN is very odd about alcohol. I say that as someone who barely ever drinks as I just don't like it.

My experience of these threads is that you either get responses saying several bottles of wine a week is normal or responses saying nobody should drink anything ever as otherwise you'll become an alcoholic.

I'd say what OP describes is normal but I would also say it's unusual for someone who's happy with their habits to come on and make a thread about it as it almost seems like she's looking for validation.

It's also worth pointing out that you don't have to be drinking loads to have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

Oblomov23 · 28/10/2023 09:54

I love a drink. But I don't need one to be able to tell someone something sensitive. I can do that easily without a drink. But then I find verbalising my feelings easy. You should encourage ds to work on that.

Lovetotravel123 · 28/10/2023 10:36

The problem is that drinking in the UK is so normalised and yet it is the drug that is most damaging to society. Swap out the word alcohol with the word cocaine and see how it makes you feel. I’m not criticising you, more the way that society leads so many to think it is fine to drink but not fine to do ‘harder’ drugs.

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