Struggles of Single People

[Switcheroonie]

I'm really feeling fed up of being surrounded by people who have never truly been single and do not seem to get how life is for people on their own. My AIBU is partnered people can be really ignorant.

For example, told my coworker I was fixing my rotten deck boards. She expressed surprise multiple times that it was taking several weekends as they had replaced their deck in one weekend. Her partner and his friends did it. I'm doing the work by myself which includes going to the store, the waste depot, cutting and replacing all the boards which have odd angles and a pattern. All with just my two hands. This coworker has been partnered up since age of 20. I'm getting completely fed up of ignorant comments. There are many more examples like this, I'm sure single people can add theirs, but this is already a long post.

Don't tell me this has been posted before either. Mumsnet search engine is useless.

Calm down OP. Its a discussion board. Hence the discussion.

If you wanted people to come on and say "poor you" you came to the wrong place. I've seen some nasty pile-ons on this site and this is mild by comparison. If you're feeling upset this is not the right place to post, if you do post you need to take the rough with the smooth (within reason).

As an aside there is a germ of truth in what you say: I'm a single parent (though in a relationship). It's swings and roundabouts. Being single is more expensive and harder work, for sure. I've experienced tons of that low-level judgement from people because things are more complicated for me.

But there are many many benefits to being single as well. The benefits of having someone to help you fix your decking/do your DIY/take the bins out often don't compensate from the downsides of someone who doesn't pull their weight, doesn't contribute, doesn't make you feel special enough.

I don't mean this to sound patronising or to minimise what you're going through but you do need to find a bit of gratitude.

I'm single. I think your last message is an overreaction to the replies you got.

Having said that I really think it's patronising and unhelpful to tell someone they need to find a bit of gratitude

I hate the presumption that because I'm a single mum I'm obviously in social housing. I actually work full time and pay rent.
I would love to be in social housing!

Lots of people living in social housing work full time and pay rent.

Even if you manage to build up this massive support network everywhere you go, you often find that most people are coupled up and want to spend their social time doing couply stuff with other couples. Single people are often dropped at weekends and holiday periods. My chances of getting people to come and help me on a weekend are literally zero but I might find somebody can fit me in for a cup of tea on a Tuesday evening while they are waiting for Brownies to finish.

I was asked about a massive project I am doing solo and when I said I hadn't finished it I was told I needed to be more organised. What I actually need is another pair of hands.

It's not so easy paying for tradespeople when you only have one income either, so diy is a necessity.

I'm not a mum but private rent. Would love to be in social housing as well but it's very difficult!

@Whattodo112222 - is there some misunderstanding on your part? You do know people in social housing pay rent? And might well be in full time work?

Incredibly strange post …

Yep all this. @Switcheroonie if you’re still there I totally get it and single people don’t get enough praise IMO. They’re doing it all themselves!

I really don't find it a huge task putting the weekly wheelie bins out!