The poster who disliked blasphemy - my update for you!

[Lwrenagain]

I can't find the thread, im sure the first comment will be someone able to link it, however until that person arrives I wanted to give you an update on how I changed after reading the somewhat controversialish thread. After reading some of my go to phrases would upset anyone I tried to stop them.
I've pretty much cut out the "omg" type phrases for the following (usually, sometimes they're even more bizarre)

Jesus Chirst - Jesus and the Mary chain.
Good lord - good lucy in the sky.
Omg - oh my godzilla!

So I spoke about the thread to Mr lwren who decided we'd try swearing less, so we now use these as often as we can around the house.

The C word - what a countryfile/that countryside just cut me up!
F word - fungus/funions/fuchsia heck/sake/off/cheeky
S - oh ship! Why is there more ship everywhere after I've just tidied?!

Others include but aren't limited to...

Cockadoodledo
Dickensian headache
Wannabe
Twink
Pistol
Darkhole
Prickles

So to that poster, you've made my vocabulary far more interesting, thank you!

It might not be perfect, but I've definitely considered what ship flies out my mouth a bit more 😅 and made an effort to make little changes ♥️

They’re just words. I can’t see the problem with swearing. Never have done.

I'm partial to, "What a country-music lover" myself.

I also find myself reverting to my Granny's chosen epithets like Hell's Teeth and God's Truth.

Oh Balderdash instead of oh bollocks

What the fork is this total bullshirt

My swearing can be atrocious and having quite a strong scouse accent I can't imagine how ridiculous some twee words would sound, (yet also really funny) but I have had to reign it in after my asd child repeated some really classy words 🤦‍♀️

You'll be delighted to know it's made absolutely sweet duck all difference to his colourful vocabulary.

I remember my dad once trying to avoid saying fuck and instead coming out with “fffffanny shittoes”. Which is far worse, imo.

I try not to blaspheme, I have Christian friends and family and don’t want to offend. But I love a good swear in the right circumstances.

@peachgreen that is the most beautiful swear save ever 🤦‍♀️😂

Oh my dog is a favourite.
Jolly hockey sticks.
Gont is the welsh for the c word. Doesn’t seem as bad somehow.

Absolutely. I'd never swear in my workplace but quite prone to it around the house.

Hate the tweeness of these suggestions.

Ex teacher now foster carer and I try best not to swear infront of the kids, although sometimes they just escape! We often have chats about swear words and I also point out that some people find certain words offensive ie oh god, and that you need to read your audience as pp have said.
Kids hear swear words all around outside and I do find that offensive when young kids are around.
Recently at a local play park there was a kid who swore when he fell over. His dad then shouted so everyone could hear 'hey you, how many times have I told you to stop fucking swearing' with absolutely no irony.
I think if you know someone finds it offensive then you should try and cut it out when they're around .

My mum would constantly critique my swearing - hardly ever - but when my son came back after a week at Nanny's he spent half and hour bouncing on the sofa chanting shit shit shit shit ...

Naturally I told her after wetting myself laughing. She was not pleased but xhe shut up about my occasional expletives.

People used to say "frigging" which sounded as bad as "fucking" really. And a friend used to say "S. H. One. T" instead of "shit"!

Context is key. Are you serving the public? Don't swear. Are you around children? Don't swear. Are you in the pub? On a walk with a friend? Say whatever the fuck you want.

I'm a Helen and I now think you consider me your God. You're correct. Thank you.

Some of yours are really fun. I should try to stop swearing and have no issue with sounding twee. My late Mum used to say sugar and foffals a lot, and I'm partial to Oh Bother like Winnie the pooh.

Afro the Jodi Taylor fans among us… firetruck 😁

I admit I have quite a potty mouth, however, I am partial to an exasperated exclamation of: Jesus, Mary and Joseph! And, Mother of God!!! 😂

I don't use it but someone I know used to say chicken pasta for cheeky bastard.

That reminds me of a time I was driving my kids plus a little friend of theirs through a certain intersection, and the little friend piped up, "I know this place! This is the place where mommy said TRUCK! when we were driving home from grammy's and I looked and looked but there wasn't any truck".

But using words that sound the same with the sake intention like ship for shit is the same as swearing. Fiddlesticks is not.
I go by what I could say in class as a teacher, i couldn't just mangle swear words and say oh but I didn't swear guv 🤣

I liked the one on Line of Duty: “Jesus Mary Joseph and the wee donkey!”

I don’t care about blasphemy though.

I quite like “gont” but obv I’d not use it around Welsh people !

Is this serious?!

What I really find offensive is someone else trying to dictate how I should express myself...my God!

This is so silly hahahahhah

OP sounds like a 2 year old

For example if your child calls someone a darkhole or says sweet duck all at school they'll be in just as much trouble and the teacher prob won't believe they said duck or ducking. And even if they do the intention is the same. Also darkhole is very risky in case of misinterpretation!!

Funny though how blasphemy is socially acceptable but misgendering is illegal. Truly the new religion.