Non-stop food shop driving me mad

[ZiggySdust]

I’m amazed at how much time I think about FOOD: meal planning, Tesco orders, top-up shops, gluten-free options, meat-free options, fussy child options, budgeting requirements, calorie deficit, calorie surfeit, excess sugar, excess fat, excess salt, too UPF, not too UPF, possibly carcinogenic and so on and so on. It is exhausting, mind-numbingly boring and takes up WAY too much headspace. My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t really seem to give a shit, and is busy in life achieving, being all impressive and whatnot.. .no doubt because he has the headspace to do so. Just me? What could I achieve if I wasn't constantly writing effing food plans and doing effing Tesco orders and top-up shops?

Ummm ...just don't allow it to take over your thoughts. Do one food shop per week either online or in person. Make a basic meal plan first and buy according to that. Give a deadline by which any other requests need to be made (in whatever way suits you - by adding to the Alexa shopping list here). Anything not on the list won't be bought unless you choose to (assuming it's you doing the shopping). End of story until next week.

I know the feeling

Just quiet quit

I've stopped giving it so much headspace

I'm currently defrosting chicken drumsticks, will have with rice and broccoli

Everyone will survive

Can't you just copy last week's Tesco order?

Sorry I don't use Tesco

It would drive me nuts too. You're doing it to yourself though and can choose not to!

First of all, you can hand over some of the responsibility to your husband. If you don't think you can convince him to plan, he should be doing the shopping at the very least.

Also, if you have kids, can they eat a hot meal at school? I found it so freeing when I lived on the continent that everyone tended to eat a main meal at school or work and only have something simple at night, like bread and soup or a salad with brie. And that was often repeated; i.e., people didn't feel the need to come up with something new every night. It took a lot of responsibility and work away from families.

The simple options don't involve much processed food of excess salt and it's hard to overeat soup and salad!

Another option, if you can afford it, is to make an appointment with a nutritionist. Get that person to come up with several meal plans and recycle them. That's what my busiest friends do and they can then place a shopping order that's pretty much the same each week. Save the order in an online account and you won't even have to worry about browsing for most items! If it would be too expensive to hire someone, maybe it would be worth it to sacrifice a weekend and make your own plans.

It really sounds like your standards are too high.

Good luck.

Are you buying things for completely new meals every single week and never repeating anything? I honestly don't see how it takes this level of thought or time.

Have all the regular household items automatic added to your online basket, milk, bread, lunchboxes stuff, cleaning products etc and the same with 2-3 easy dinners a week and then just rotate through some options for the other 3/4 meals.

It takes me 5 minutes to do a food plan and then 10 - 20 minutes to order it. It arrives the next day and I put it away. I don't think about food shopping the rest of the time and don't do top up shops.

Once I know if something meets my upf/sugar/calorie threshold, then I know. I don't regularly reassess it.

It is bloody relentless.

I finish one meal and think about who next needs feeding what and when (5yo and 2yo). I work full time and eat the same lunch every day just so I don’t have to think about another bloody meal!

I’m with you. I fluctuate from being really organised with a delivery and a meal plan to flitting to the shop every couple of days. I’m currently on the 2nd because of half term and the teens are cruising the cupboards every 5 mins! Must sit down and get organised for next week but I can’t be bothered. Also what bugs me is that I ask for ideas from people or if they need anything I get blank faces… and then they declare “there’s nothing to eat….!”

Everyone eats the list restricted diet-in your case, vegetarian gluten free. That at least takes some of the pressure off.

*most restricted diet, not list.

A ridiculous percentage of adult life is buying food, preparing food, clearing up after food and planning future food.

Freezer, slow cooker and microwave.
Everybody eats the same, tailored to the person who has the allergies/intolerances.
Batch cook everything. Never make a single quantity of anything.
Buy ziplock freezer bags, takeaway containers, foil trays with the cardboard tops.
Make large batches of whatever fussy child will eat, portion it into the takeaway containers and freeze.
Buy frozen veg, you can get just about everything prepped now.

Clear some headspace by forgetting about UPF/carcinogenic/fat/salt etc.

You don't sound like someone who feeds the family mainly chicken nuggets and crisps, so just trust your basic instincts and knowledge of food to do the online shop and have a meal plan (ish) for the week.

Husband needs to be roped-in and told any top-ups will be done by him; that might push him into taking more of an active interest in the daily grind of providing family meals!

You're giving it too much headspace.

Get a standard order.
Get a two- or three-week meal plan.

Repeat.

We buy dry goods once per month and get fresh only every week.

Sign up for Hello Fresh or similar and get 6 dinners a week sorted. Takeaway the 7th night. Get a fruit and veg box delivered weekly.

That just leave a weekly shop for bread/milk/cleaning products breakfast and lunch stuff.

It is relentless.

With a teenager it is an eyeopener.

Everybody eats the same, tailored to the person who has the allergies/intolerances

My ASD Dd is a vegetarian who only likes tomato sauce and pasta variations. I fucking hate tomato sauce. I ended up just eating toast for tea because l could not face tomato sauce again.

So that doesn’t always work

I often skip dinner. As long as enough prepared (from day before or whatever) for DD I just cannot be bothered.

She always eats a huge plate and then asks for the same again. Then pudding. Then fruit.
Still people say she is too thin. I find it is getting depressing and I used to love cooking.

I hear you OP. It's constant. If you are somewhat educated on nutrition (and I'll bet you are) then you could step away from considering UPF/fat/calories etc and just focus on the planning. It's not just the meals is it, its the order of it, like when leftovers will hold til, what days will be suitable for slow cook etc. Then people change plans and it all gets muddled again. I was getting a bit bothered by it all a few months ago so started ordering Hello Fresh, i sit down with the app and order 3 weeks or so at a time and then blank my mind for those days. When it arrives I follow the instructions, that's it. It's cleared a whole corner of my brain!!

I do one massive monthly shop and DP has to do any weekly shops, would something like that work for you?

Oh goodness. I completely identify with this. Despite having a WFH job that requires full concentration, those blasted food worries keep taking over.

Simplfy your life! Menu plan once for a week. Write the shopping list for that menu plan. Cook the meals as planned.
Repeat, until the end of time.
If and when other people get bored, they can get involved.

This is driving me nuts too!

I just always seem to be buying food, and I’m sick and tired of it, it feels relentless.

In a typical working week, we do an online ‘weekly’ shop usually to arrive on Monday evening). My Husband and I will then have to visit a Sainsburys local or similar at least 3 or 4 times in the week, spending at least £10 per visit, but usually nearer £20, sometimes over. I also do a shop in a large supermarket on Fridays, typically spending around £40, often more. Saturday and Sunday we usually find we need to buy meat, fruit and milk - sometimes more things.

I’ve spent around £180 on food shopping since Monday, and my Husband has spent around £40. This is just it on. There are us to, and our 2 young children.

Thank you for all your lovely replies and advice. I guess maybe I should have put in the title that it was [semi] 'light-hearted'! That is to say, that I do of course know about meal-planning, batch cooking, standardising orders etc. etc. And I'm not constantly thinking about it - just that it all does seem to take up an inordinate amount of time.

YES @ClarkGablesMoustache this is it in a nutshell!
A ridiculous percentage of adult life is buying food, preparing food, clearing up after food and planning future food.

On top of that I have one child who is very fussy, one who has digestive issues and is 'sensitive' around what foods she can eat (almost veggie), and a DH who is coeliac, so our shared choices are rather limited, and it does get boring as we end up eating a lot of the same stuff on repeat.

Also, I have just read Ultra Processed People, which has added a new layer of of complexity (not to mention expense!) to the food shop as so many GF foods are highly processed.

Yes @SprinkleOfSunak this is my spend! So glad it's not just me.

AND the fact that my kids are now teenagers and seem to have bottomless appetites and eat me out of house and home.

Bah! Just having a moan really!

I empathise. I am tired of shopping and producing meals every day. Quite often my first thought of the day is what dinner will be that night. Also I could brain my husband when he complains there is nothing to eat when the cupboards and freezer are full. He means there is no instant food that he can shoved straight into his mouth with no effort on his part.