A few years ago I got a car for my birthday. It was purchased second hand and is in great condition. I try my best to look after it, as I do with all our possessions. When we bought it, the wheels were somewhat kerbed (low profile tyres). He is really into cars and said we needed to buy new wheels. I said I'd prefer to keep the ones the car came with, at least for awhile, until I got used to parking the car. He insisted it needed new wheels. I begged and pleaded for the wheels to remain until I was ready to replace them. This was partly because I know he gets very upset about accidental damage (this is largely due to childhood trauma when his space and possessions were not respected). In the end, he bought the wheels anyway, saying he found them for a good price. I didn't feel I had much choice in the matter, but told him he had to promise to not be angry if I did kerb them. He said "you won't, but OK." Well, two months later the inevitable happened and I kerbed one of the front wheels. Of course he was furious and I had to spend several days with him angry about it. I reminded him of his promise, and he asked "how do you expect me to react when you do something like this?" I eventually told him I personally wasn't that bothered about the wheels and he needed to accept that I hadn't done it on purpose. I have now just parked and scraped the other bloody wheel and I'm now scared of his reaction. I can't decide if it's better to tell him as soon as I see him, or wait until he notices and deal with it then. I don't see myself as a deliberately destructive person, I try hard to make things last. But he seems to equate the damage with lack of care and respect, and dealing with his upset over this sort of thing is quite difficult. Am I being unreasonable in thinking accidental, superficial damage isn't anything to be upset about? Or am I just really disrespectful?