Should I co-pay babysitting costs of other parents' child?

[Farahto]

Hi everyone!

We are a childfree couple living in the UK. We have friends on the mainland that often come to visit us and stay with us. They have a son that doesn't speak English.
When they visit us they ask us to find a babysit that speaks his native language. As you can imagine, the options are quite slim (especially if you're not looking for a regular babysit) and the costs for a babysit here in the city are quite high and much higher compared to what they are used to.

Now, do you think we should offer to split the babysit costs? I feel guilty about this (as he is my godson + we also enjoy the night out), but objectively I don't think we should. My SO also doesn't think we should.

What do you think?
Thanks for helping out!

You could pay in another way - you buy more drinks in or pay all the cab costs?

We are a childfree couple living in the UK. We have friends on the mainland that often come to visit us and stay with us. They have a son that doesn't speak English.
Mainland do you mean Europe? Do the parents speak English?

Yo have no need to feel guilty.

Honestly, don’t start paying half. You will NEVER be able to stop once you’ve set a precedent.

Maybe OP is in Jersey and by mainland she means UK.

Yes, indeed, I do mean Europe, sorry, and yes, the parents do speak English.

We’re child free and I remember the DH of a friend of mine ‘jokingly’ saying that we should contribute towards their babysitting costs when we went out.

How did you react? Hope you said no!

Could you just not stay in sometimes? I understand takeaway in a small flat isn't as nice, but it's not terrible either. Have they ever suggested that? Or take the child with you and he can sleep in his buggy. Does it have to be a 'big' night every time?

depends on their disposable income I suppose, they might be fine paying for a babysitter if they can afford it & especially if they don't go out much 'at hone'

but if it's fairly regularly why haven't they/you established a couple of known babysitters?

I just laughed and I suspect my friend had words with him afterwards so it never got mentioned again! He was notoriously tight-fisted.

I don't think you should pay but I do think you should ask them if they'd rather go out, or stay in and you cook / get takeaway. We go and stay with friends a lot including when we had young kids and no one has ever

Expected us to go out and leave our kids in a strange house with someone they didn't know. And I've never expected guests staying with us to do that, we've always worked arrangements around their kids eg got the kids some food ans then ate nicer adults food when they were in bed

Why not just stay in, and have a relaxed meal after their DS has gone to bed? There’s no way in a million years if I were visiting a friend in a different country (or even a different town) that I’d leave my child with a random babysitter they’d never met, whatever language they spoke.

You are very kind to be trying to do the right thing by them, but I honestly don't think you need to pay anything toward the babysitting, nor would they expect it.

Op has already said it's her godson, they're trying to facilitate a relationship, not leave him home for the weekend so they can have a break

God no you should not be paying. Their child, their cost.

The only exception to this would be if you both had children and you were at their home using a babysitter that they had already booked.

No need to pay.

Yeah, we don't mind staying in actually. They ask us to look for a babysitter for one night, we don't ever suggest to do so.
And in terms of frequency, it's once per year so it's not really easy to find someone on that low cadence.