Flirty work colleague.

[kentishgodess30]

We’ve been working together for years, both married and kids . Recently, we’ve had to team up on a few projects, spending more time together. He’s a decent bloke and easy to talk to compared to some others around. But lately, I’ve noticed he’s turning on the charm a bit more – complimenting my work, telling folks it’s great working with me, and he even suggested I should join his team. He pops by my desk to chat more than usual, and our talks tend to get a bit personal. All above board, no sneaky drinks or texts.
Now, here’s the thing: I’m kind of flattered, which makes me wonder if my self-esteem is in the gutter or something. On the flip side, maybe he’s not flirting, and it’s all in my head? But what’s happening now is that I like this attention and when he doesn’t come over I feel down. That’s so lame and it’s now interfering with my work.
Apart from distancing - which I am doing now - what else is would work in this instance?

What he's doing doesn't sound like flirting. It sounds like you both work really together, which is allowed without it being called flirting. However you seem to be seeing more of this situation. Keep reminding yourself that you're both married with kids and this is a total NO GO ZONE.

I work in a male dominated industry. This has been an ongoing issue for me. My strategy is to ignore it. Eventually they get the hint and move on. If it’s an obvious crush I make sure not to engage on any subject other than work, make sure to not sit next to or opposite them in meetings and to decline any invitation to “discuss this over lunch” etc.
The stopping by your desk is such an obvious tell. Do not work on his team. He doesn’t want you for your skills and it won’t work out well for you if he doesn’t get what he wants. Now that it’s reached the “stopping by your desk” you need to start documenting. You should also be aware that others will have noticed this and they’ll be gossiping about you. Don’t add fuel to this fire. You’ll never walk away from it. People will always talk about you. If you go work on his team people will assume you’re sleeping with him. It’s grossly unfair but this is how it is.