Am I total mug?!

[Wanttobenameless]

Long story short.

Re my 'Friend', and I use that term loosely these days, as we used to be so close, but she's lied and let me down once too often, so I've started to distance myself.

But there's one thing that's bugging me, and I honestly do not know if it's me being sensitive, or if she's just bloody selfish.

So she asked me if I wanted to go away in the spring half term with our kids.
I asked if she was definite on this given she's let me down before, and she promised she was.
That came and she said she couldn't afford it.

Get to summer and again, she asks if I want to go away for a few days with the kids.
I ask again if it is a definite and she promises this time it is.
So I book the time off.
Come to it, and she can't afford it.

Yet in the meantime, between these two non holidays, she's booked to go abroad with someone else and the kids, which is a hell of a lot more money than a few days at the coast.

She says she prefers to go away in this country, so when she said she was going abroad, especially as she's let me down twice, it was a piss take imo.

She lied and said it was paid for as someone had dropped out.
I've since found out this is yet another lie.
She paid for it in full.

Got to say it hurts a bit.
Especially as I've always been there whenever she's needed anyone.

I don't want to fall out with her as our kids are friends, but I am struggling to keep my mouth shut on this one.

I've definitely made moves to distance myself, which she doesn't seem to have noticed (she's wrapped up in her own life, doesn't seem to care about what others are going through).
I've had some real crap this year to deal with, she's not been there for me at all.
I feel like a total fool tbh, because I know deep down she's not treating me very well, and just reading what I've written tells me all I need to know.

I think I just needed to vent!

Let the kids be friends and back off. She clearly isn’t a friend. She doesn’t notice when you’re less available and has fucked you about. No.

Let the kids be friends and back off, just be civil.

Back off, just log in your brain what has happened, keep a dignified silence, just say no thanks when she suggests another trip.

Thank you.
I think I needed that validation and someone else's POV.
She can do one!

Let the children be friends, but don't do any favours e.g. sleepovers and play dates that are not exchanged.

I made a decision a few years ago, that I didn't want to be friends with anyone who didn't want to be friends with me, especially those who only seemed to appear when they wanted something.

So I stopped making the effort and declined their requests (the worst one was receiving a text - a TEXT, not even a phone call - to say that their cat had died that morning, she was going on holiday that day, but the cat was in the garage and could we bury it. As it happened were were on holiday, so found that very easy to decline)

It was very liberating.

So with regards to your "friend" - she isn't. Just regard her as the mum to your kids friends, so your paths will probably cross. No need to be rude or unpleasant, but leave it at that.

Thanks so much, I'll be better off without her tbh.
I knew that deep down, but seeing your replies had helped me decide to cut contact.